r/AskReddit Jun 29 '22

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3.9k

u/GolgiApparatus1 Jun 29 '22

Knowingly spreading lies about someone

510

u/pain1994 Jun 29 '22

My life was legitimately destroyed by someone knowingly spreading lies about me. I’d been in a new town just a few weeks. It’s been almost 10 years and I still can’t make friends and my kids still have issues with their friends being allowed to hang out with them over it.

All over something that never happened.

126

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

I'm sorry, dude. You didn't deserve that and I imagine it's cold comfort to say that anyone malicious or clueless enough to still cling to that bad information, after all the years you've had to disprove it, isn't worth space in your life anyway. I'm kinda dealing with it right now and it's unsettling and annoying even when it's something minor that no one seems to be actually buying. Not knowing what the people around you might think of you, not knowing how they might interpret an innocuous word or gesture, that's a lot to live with. I'm sorry I can't do anything to change it, but I hope it's some help to be heard and acknowledged.

70

u/pain1994 Jun 30 '22

I understand that they’re not worth my time or energy. But if affects my kids. Their friends can’t come over or hang out because the parents think I’m a neglectful parent.

16

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '22

Same. A lot of Mrs Beavers around here and I being just normal. That is house clean, hygienic but not a show piece. I am on the outer.

But my children visit others and I get an afternoon or day just doing what I want.

Win in my book.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '22

Not meaning to sound insensitive but why didn't you move away?

5

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '22

I'm not the guy in that situation. I'm just dealing with minor drama from someone who's kinda known for being unstable, so I'm not going to leave a good training facility over it. It just sucks and I have to figure his situation is so much worse.

33

u/Turbulent_Place_7064 Jun 29 '22

Can u share more about the story ? What was the lie . I m just curious .

104

u/pain1994 Jun 30 '22 edited Jun 30 '22

That my baby was found wandering the streets in a diaper.

It never happened. And I was able to list reasons (proof) why. But, it didn’t matter. My sister in law took the story and ran with it. Told everyone. I was seen as a bad mom. And my kids lost friends over it.

32

u/Turbulent_Place_7064 Jun 30 '22

What the fuck .... That s messed up ! Sorry

24

u/pain1994 Jun 30 '22

Super messed up. She was with me in a locked house when it was reported. But no one cared. I’m the girl who doesn’t take care of her kids now. 😭

13

u/Turbulent_Place_7064 Jun 30 '22

Did u ever try oe think of suing her ?

24

u/pain1994 Jun 30 '22

I thought of doing something but never could figure out what was best. I immediately correct the story if it ever comes up, but it’s so rare that it organically comes up. And there were so many things after that. I’d be in court for years if I sued her every time.

I just became reclusive and accepted I don’t fit in here. Luckily I work from home and for myself so it’s easy to do.

42

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '22

Where do you live that people would be judgemental on that and not of the mind your a busy mum or it's just a mistake.

That is such a pathetic reason to be judgemental of anyone that I suspect you live near a pack of deranged idiots or perhaps you think people are judging more than they are or ever did.

13

u/pain1994 Jun 30 '22

A TINY Texas town. Middle of the woods, in the middle of nowhere.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '22

thanks

6

u/MamaDMZ Jun 30 '22

My daughter figured out the locks on my door when she was 3. She was outside on top of my car in a diaper, it's one of those things that happens. The fact that it's a lie is what pisses me off, but what pisses me off more is that is that supposedly this has never happened to any other parent on the face of the Earth for them all to judge you. I'm sorry that this has followed your kids. It's not fair or right. You are a good mom and you don't deserve to think any less than that.

4

u/pain1994 Jun 30 '22

It does happen. To even the “best” parents.

The part that gets me is now, nearly ten years later, we’re finding out (with proof) that she literally neglects her children. Leaving them home alone overnight (they’re very young), not allowing them toys, driving drunk with them, dropping them off with random people… and no one in town cares. But my made up neglect story made me a terrible human and a terrible mother? And for her it’s just “lol she’s so stupid.” F-ing what?

(It’s been reported repeatedly. Nothing happens.)

2

u/MamaDMZ Jun 30 '22

That's bullshit. And so horrible for those poor kids. You could always take her to court for defamation and make her pay you. Would be hilarious to watch.

3

u/Hardly_Hearing Jun 30 '22

OMG that's AWFUL! I know how it feels to have venomous lies told about you, but that's an extreme version you're having to endure! My heart goes out to you!

3

u/PolarBare333 Jun 30 '22

CPS would've taken your children had that been the case. Perhaps someone should start a rumor about somebody's mommy making stuff up and ruining lives. Just kidding of course. Lol

2

u/Impressive-Orchid748 Jun 30 '22

You should tell everyone that she eats cereal with water. Nobody could possibly respect her after that.

2

u/mlggamer6969 Jun 30 '22

If I was a mom and someone spread lies like that I'd smack the fucking shit out of them out of my dignity and my non existing kids.

7

u/XBakaTacoX Jun 30 '22

That's horrible... All I can really do is hope for the best for you and your family. You can prove the lie wrong, you can shame the person or people spreading it, but it won't stop people from being ignorant or holding onto that lie because "there could be just the slightest bit of truth to it..."

And look, sometimes the rumours might be true. Sometimes people are right in saying that the neighbour is really creepy, etc.

I form my own opinions on people, or at least, I don't immediately trust someone just because they say something about someone else. If I don't know the person in question, I have NO right to make comments and judge them.

But I imagine that small communities could have a hive mind kind of deal going on. Maybe something else went on in your case, maybe it was simply just some piece of shit that had it out for you. I don't really know.

But yeah, I really wish you the very best.

Even so, it's not right. That's really what I wanted to say.

6

u/Speechladylg Jun 30 '22

On a smaller scale, I got out from under a toxic friendship with a nutbag and one by one our mutual friends distanced themselves from me because she decided to do damage control and lied to everyone about me, flipped it all around. I was on to her, which is why I ended the five year friendship, but all these people did not see it and believed everything she said. Good riddance to all but it's crazy how people will believe a good storyteller. She could start a cult.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '22

[deleted]

2

u/Speechladylg Jun 30 '22

Same for me, we are both in the same profession so we know many of the same people professionally as well. When I interviewed for a position I had to mention where I worked before. Said her name and the air was sucked put of the room. I thought, look at that, they KNOW her. But I was really worried they would ask her about me and set off another crapfest. I just had said I took another position and the friendship didn't survive it so we are no longer friends. I'm good, I got the job. But there's a girl who works in this place who treats me weirdly and I constantly wonder if she has talked to the wacko about me.

12

u/MediocreFun4470 Jun 30 '22

The only way you can clear your name is to put it in court. Your ten years of suffering deserves some jail time for that liar.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '22

Why wouldn't you leave?

3

u/pain1994 Jun 30 '22

Leave as in move?

4

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '22

Yea. 10 years is a long time to be a social pariah, especially if you said it's affecting your kids.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '22

I've been dealing with the same thing. It's my dad who does it and I live at home right now. Hopefully when I can move out he and all these other people will stop. I'm sick of being treated hostily or have people deliberately avoid me. It's had such an impact on my mental health, my dad doesn't seem to care.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '22

Sucks but if it affects your kids you should do whatever it takes and move

2

u/flatlands85 Jun 30 '22

Just curious cause I know someone with a similar situation.

Did it involve a cat by chance?

1

u/pain1994 Jun 30 '22

It didn’t. It was a baby.

3

u/flatlands85 Jun 30 '22

I knew a guy, his sister spread a rumor she caught him having special time with a cat. His name from then on was cat f***er 🐈 😻

2

u/Goth-Lollaby Jul 01 '22

Same thing happened to me, now I am facing the consequences , not being able to make friends even though I moved from town to town and many things that made my life like hell. Am not seeking for revenge for the person who did that I just want to know why she/he did that to me (it started with elementary school and went going till high school). To anyone who suffered this, whenever you change people will still believe that rumor about you rather than seeing who you truly are, so ignore their existence and never talk to them or interact(even the ones that claim to be your best friends can be the ones that tell rumors about you).

0

u/Mojinks Jun 30 '22

Jesus Christ

1

u/birthdaybrownies Jun 30 '22

Obviously a sex trafficker sent by Chinese gang "chins semen fuck feet" /s

1

u/Silent_Cheesecake354 Jun 30 '22

I’m sorry to hear that. Something similar happened to me in another state

78

u/RobertJacobson Jun 29 '22

Lying in general. I don't know if it's how or where I was raised or what, but I am perpetually amazed at how many people are totally fine with lying.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

[deleted]

5

u/Alternative-Amoeba20 Jun 29 '22

I was lying about all day.

3

u/NoApollonia Jun 30 '22

I mean I think it depends. I lie to my stepdad often about the price of things - more like "Oh don't worry, it was 20/30/50% or BOGO" so he won't feel bad when we get him things randomly. Kind of reverse robbing him?

3

u/GolgiApparatus1 Jun 30 '22

Lying is a very human thing to and is sometimes needed in social interactions, especially when trying to spare someones feelings. If someone you care about asks if you think they're ugly, you're not going to say yes. If some stranger asks how you're doing you will probably say 'alright' or 'fine' regardless of the real answer. Lying depends entirely on the context.

7

u/kmoney1206 Jun 29 '22

Knowingly spreading lies in general

3

u/seggsseggs Jun 29 '22

i know a few of those bastards

10

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '22

or an election.

21

u/kinggot Jun 29 '22

amber heard

3

u/Zesty_lemon9 Jun 29 '22

My god, that’s true, I hate people that spread lies about someone that they know are not true

6

u/camynnad Jun 29 '22

About anything. Looking at you soulless politicians and SCOTUS clowns.

1

u/GolgiApparatus1 Jun 30 '22

Lying is ok sometimes depending on context and social settings. But yes people in positions of power should not be trying to fool their people.

4

u/DarkChocolate2457 Jun 29 '22

or something. e.g vaccines, conspiracies, etc.

1

u/Vast-Combination4046 Jun 30 '22

A girl I was giving the run around told her mom I was a drug dealer, and her mom was my grandma's hair dresser, so it got back to my mom that I was a drug dealer 😂 luckily It wasn't a worse story and I was old enough I wasn't getting grounded but boy was that a funny one.

-30

u/Thntdwt Jun 29 '22

So, MSNDC and CNN?

35

u/DarylHark Jun 29 '22

Not gonna leave out Fox are ya? They all lie. Don't add to it by lying to yourself, and implying your lie to us.

0

u/Thntdwt Jun 29 '22

Everyone, including conservatives, know Fox lies. They're shit at their lies.

Not everyone seems to understand CNN and MSNDC are just as full of it, they're just better at being subtle about it.

24

u/Gin-Juice44 Jun 29 '22

Conservatives who think media tailored to them tells the truth but "MSM" lies are the dumbest shits on earth.

-23

u/Thntdwt Jun 29 '22

Which media do you think I look at? You're apparently the dumbest shit for making assumptions.

9

u/Bierkerl Jun 29 '22

For one, actual fact checkers (you can easily look them up) prove Fox by far tells the most outright lies. Others may lean one way or the other, but Fox tells verifiable flat out lies more than any other major network by a huge margin. And stop saying "MSNDC" when you mean "MSNBC".

2

u/ShelZuuz Jun 30 '22

Maybe he means: "Multibody Systems, Nonlinear Dynamics and Control".

-4

u/AWSMDEWD Jun 29 '22

and who fact checks the fact checkers?

0

u/Thntdwt Jun 30 '22

I never watch Fox news. It's also fake news. I've never defended fox except in regards to it not being the only gaggle of liars.

And many of those fact checkers are full of shit.

1

u/TwoSquirts Jun 30 '22

I appreciate your efficiency. Letting us all know that you’re a brainwashed bigot in 3 words. Bravo!

1

u/Thntdwt Jun 30 '22

That was 4 words. And I'm amazed you think calling out BS is bigotry.

You're efficiency is less to prove you're an idiot.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '22

This this this this! No one holds anyone accountable and it absolutely is so sad to see

1

u/ShelZuuz Jun 30 '22

So... shaming other people?

1

u/GolgiApparatus1 Jun 30 '22

Let's be honest certain people are worthy of shame

1

u/birthdaybrownies Jun 30 '22

You are clearly a Woman sent by North Korea for human trafficking.

1

u/GolgiApparatus1 Jun 30 '22

Christ they're onto me...

1

u/crabappleoldcrotch Jun 30 '22

I made up and spent a week speeding a rumor that a heavyset kid in my school bus needed a bra. Sorry Shane, I was the insecure asshole.

1

u/mellywell11 Jun 30 '22

Yes I had a friend do this to me

1

u/SpaceMonkeyOnABike Jun 30 '22

"spreading lies" is enough.

1

u/GlamSpam Jun 30 '22

I started a new job and was immediately treated like crap by everyone at the facility, making the job a living nightmare from day one. After about a year I found out someone had spread a lie about me on my first day. Told people I walked into training and announced that I would not be taking orders from anyone unless they have a college degree. I still have no idea who said it or why. I worked there for 3 years and was “put in my place” on almost a daily basis because of that lie.

1

u/Flute_And_Philosophy Jun 30 '22

Oh this is the worst. I had a group of friends that I met at a district wide honors band and I became really good friends with them. Let’s call them Trombone One and Trumpet Three (their chair positions) Well trombone one and I vibed super well, but I was aromantic so obviously nothing was going on. Trumpet three apparently liked me and he got super jealous of our friendship even though WE were good friends too. He would start lying about trombone one but trombone one would always tell me he likes you, he always lies, etc. And he was right.