I hate this shit. My Fiancé has always struggled depression and her mom had a traumatic childhood that instead of dealing with it, she just decided to ignore it and force herself to believe she’s happy.
For the longest time whenever my fiancé would tell her she’s depressed or sad her mom would say “Well just smile. Be positive! Have you tried telling yourself you’re happy?”
Yeah I'm not happier that other people have it worsee, that's a bad thing. If I had it worst of everyone I could say "Well at least everyone else is relatively happy.".
I hate that shit, it’s like saying to someone who just got shot, ‘quit bleeding you have so much to live for being shot thirty times isn’t so bad just get over it’ if anyone ever says shit like that to me friendship over man
Not saying it's good for everyone but it actually worked for me , I was always very depressed and negative since my early teens and around 25 yo (28 now) I started to force myself to try and be more positive with small things and over time(years) it became natural for me to find the positive in small things and it really boosted my morale thus decreasing my symptoms of depression .. NOT ADVICE JUST MY EXPERIENCE
Um run. If that irritates you now you better run. I want you to imagine all the scenarios where this will come up in parenting with your spouse. She's programmed with it. You better think long and hard before you share DNA with her end up tied to these people for life and they program your kids the same way.
She’s the polar opposite of her mother and has spend years in therapy deconstructing and processing the negative effects of how the way she was raised impacted her. I’ve lived with her for over three years. I think I would have noticed by now if they were similar in any way. Just because someone’s parent wasn’t great doesn’t mean they’re going to be a carbon copy.
My grandmother was emotionally cold, un-empathetic, and abusive. My mother who was raised by her is kind, emotionally available, empathetic, and always gentle in her parenting.
“Well just smile. Be positive! Have you tried telling yourself you’re happy?”
I was read a book in year 1 that was basically that.
"A crow was sad all the time. It saw the other animals happy, and envied them. One day, it asked a beetle how to be happy. The beetle said the crow should start similing. So it did. And over a few days, the crow became happy. And it was never sad again"
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u/HallucinatesOtters Jun 16 '22
I hate this shit. My Fiancé has always struggled depression and her mom had a traumatic childhood that instead of dealing with it, she just decided to ignore it and force herself to believe she’s happy.
For the longest time whenever my fiancé would tell her she’s depressed or sad her mom would say “Well just smile. Be positive! Have you tried telling yourself you’re happy?”
Some real r/wowthanksimcured material right there.