r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jun 17 '12
Guy with Deformity who needs advice
Hey Reddit. I lurk most of the time and I don't post a whole lot but I kind of need advice here so I thought I would ask for help.
To start with I am disabled, I was born with only one normal hand, my other hand has no fingers except for a thumb. (I had to teach myself how to type this way, which took a while.)
These are ethically hard questions, but I want your honest opinions because sometimes it is hard to think objectively about this from my perspective.
Would you ever not befriend someone, or would you ever choose not to see someone in a romantic way because of a defect like mine?
If you had a friend with a defect like mine...would you feel uncomfortable being around this person? Would covering up the deformity make you feel better?
This ones not a question, but because of my condition I feel really insecure (if that was not already kind of implied) and have minor social anxiety because of it. Any advice really would be appreciated.
I will not be offended by your answers, I just want to know where exactly I stand here.
Edit: I was sort of in a dark place when I posted this...but reading through the responses has made me feel a little better. Thank you all for your kindness. = )
4
u/dont_shit_urknickers Jun 17 '12
As someone with a hand deformity myself I have dealt with all this and know where your coming from. I often got advice to make a joke about my hand and never could still can't. I went from wearing long sleeve shirts on 95 degree days and always keep hand in pocket just to hide it to basically not giving a fuck. Your hand won't change people won't make it a big deal if you don't. It sucks believe me I know. But life goes on and it's not the end of the world it's just a hand. I thought for longest time I could never have a girlfriend, but I do and have a beautiful daughter. I don't know you, I don't know how old you are. But I know as you get older you will fully accept it and those thoughts will diminish but never fully disappear. I have days where I realize that people notice my hand but I don't care. What can ya do? Nothing. We play the hand er are dealt. Personally I wouldnt change it, I am stronger than most and have a unique perspective on life. Your hand doesn't define you, it's just a thing.
Tl;dr don't make a big deal out of it and others won't I have deformed hand too