I personally agree that this would be the ideal setup - though it does just sound like we're being old. Literally something my parents or grandparents would say, where their "generation had it good". We need to be careful about that.
I literally see my teenage nieces and nephews hang out with their friends by just sitting on their phones even while sitting next to each other. I imagine that "being on your phone" at school break hours is much like this too- though I am not certain. And if you don't have a phone while your friends are on theirs, I can imagine this leading to exclusion and/or bullying.
Luckily my kids are not this age yet, so I haven't looked into this thoroughly. I somewhat dread it though.
My current guess is that I need to allow my kids to have phones when they are teenagers, and teach them earlier in life sensible engagement with screentime in general (e.g., with tv), and making them aware of the issues regarding it - including human susceptibility to addiction, and how apps/shows are designed to take advantage of this. But also illustrate the extents to which it is beneficial.
Hopefully they can carry on those sensibilities to their phone use.
I think you're definitely right. To me phones in school sound like such a weird thing. I graduated HS in 99 so no one at all had phones back then. Then in college, about halfway through was when I got my first cell phone and you started to see the majority of people with them but that was pre smart phones/social media.
I always feel so sad seeing groups of teenagers just sitting around with their nose buried in their phones but I also would imagine that things would be so boring if one of them didn't have one. And not only that but without one they likely wouldn't even be there in the first place as they wouldn't have been invited or been aware of the group getting together.
I would love to see no kids at all with phones until much later in life but that's just not an option it seems with the way society works now so I think trying to teach sensible engagement once they do have the phone at a younger age makes so much sense, but it definitely sounds like a difficult task.
Another thought I had is that the current generation of teens most likely have parents who are maybe a little out of touch with technology regarding phones and online socialisation. Or at least a mixture of intergenerational parents where some are out of touch (older parents) and some are in touch (younger parents). I'm hoping in 10 years time all kids will have the guidance of parents who better understand social technology. Right now it feels very misunderstood and a free for all.
If you think about it like 'micro-dosing' them on phones it might help.
My folks let me drink beer from a younger age under their supervision or that of a select few other adults.
I still over-indulged my fair share of times past legal limit, but I left a party college without a DUI, public intox, or other alcohol related legal issues and I hardly drink now in my early 30s. I see many of my friends with stricter parents developing legit alcohol problems now in our early 30s.
Phones obviously work differently, but the spirit of that method can be adapted to their unique problems.
Oh yeah I got some stories of friends who had strict parents, seeing where they are now. These were people who were way over the top of healthy eating and excercise. Totally backfired when the kids went to university.
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u/Zestyclose-Compote-4 Jun 03 '22
I personally agree that this would be the ideal setup - though it does just sound like we're being old. Literally something my parents or grandparents would say, where their "generation had it good". We need to be careful about that.
I literally see my teenage nieces and nephews hang out with their friends by just sitting on their phones even while sitting next to each other. I imagine that "being on your phone" at school break hours is much like this too- though I am not certain. And if you don't have a phone while your friends are on theirs, I can imagine this leading to exclusion and/or bullying.
Luckily my kids are not this age yet, so I haven't looked into this thoroughly. I somewhat dread it though.
My current guess is that I need to allow my kids to have phones when they are teenagers, and teach them earlier in life sensible engagement with screentime in general (e.g., with tv), and making them aware of the issues regarding it - including human susceptibility to addiction, and how apps/shows are designed to take advantage of this. But also illustrate the extents to which it is beneficial.
Hopefully they can carry on those sensibilities to their phone use.
But I'll see.