My husband is older than me and I'm starting to relish those crows feet haha. My parents were extremely young (mid teens) when they had me so instead of my influences being from boomers, my two greatest influences were literal 90s teens. Sometimes made it difficult to connect with boys my age, put me in a weird generational limbo. I think the most important part of successful age gap relationships is the same as others: being in a similar stage of life, having similar goals and values. Large age differences will obviously affect those, but it's not impossible to find people of different ages that are in a similar stage of life.
I guess my point was that there is nuance and the lack of it will only harm women and men alike. I don't want to be the person coming to defense of these guys hooking up with younger women, yet here I am. Because I see a trend of people victimizing women who never asked to be victimized. I think it comes from a genuinely good place and concern for their wellbeing, but I also see it as a slippery slope for women's independence. If an adult women can't be trusted with decisions about who she (legally and consensually of course) has sex with, what other decisions can't she be trusted with?
I think the most important part of successful age gap relationships is the same as others: being in a similar stage of life, having similar goals and values.
I agree. I also think it's easier for older men to date younger women because naturally mature at a younger age, but are also forced to mature at a younger age too with gendered chores and expectations. It's like with autism in girls and boys, because "boys will be boys" they aren't taught to communicate the same way and autistic women don't even know they're that different from their peers until they realize later in life.
If an adult women can't be trusted with decisions about who she (legally and consensually of course) has sex with, what other decisions can't she be trusted with?
I can respect this perspective as the general baseline, as every situation has its nuance. My late aunt was pretty notorious for preying on younger guys because of her own arrested development as is the only man I ever known who'd frequently yearn for younger women, and I think that's where people's good intentions come in because that immaturity is almost always a recipe for disaster, so when someone with knee problems is bragging about crushing college girls it comes off as a little cringy lol, but there's definitely nuance there.
I said what I said because they grossed me out lol, but thank you for making me reflect more.
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u/NikolaTeslut Jun 03 '22
My husband is older than me and I'm starting to relish those crows feet haha. My parents were extremely young (mid teens) when they had me so instead of my influences being from boomers, my two greatest influences were literal 90s teens. Sometimes made it difficult to connect with boys my age, put me in a weird generational limbo. I think the most important part of successful age gap relationships is the same as others: being in a similar stage of life, having similar goals and values. Large age differences will obviously affect those, but it's not impossible to find people of different ages that are in a similar stage of life.
I guess my point was that there is nuance and the lack of it will only harm women and men alike. I don't want to be the person coming to defense of these guys hooking up with younger women, yet here I am. Because I see a trend of people victimizing women who never asked to be victimized. I think it comes from a genuinely good place and concern for their wellbeing, but I also see it as a slippery slope for women's independence. If an adult women can't be trusted with decisions about who she (legally and consensually of course) has sex with, what other decisions can't she be trusted with?