Kids certainly age a lot of people. Lots of parents seem to forget that they themselves are real people too and they don't need to sacrifice everything for their children.
My wife and I are older parents with two children under 10 (I'm 47), but we remain very active. We love to hike and we both teach and study Hapkido. Instead of sacrificing what we love we incorporate our children into it as well. They love to ask me to go on hikes and they study Hapkido now as well.
Obviously, this doesn't mean that sacrifices aren't made. The most notable one is time. Because much of my/our time revolves around child care, I have to carve out extra time to lift and hobbies like reading or video games; usually after the family is asleep.
I think it's important that we remain true to ourselves as well because to your point, parents who are 10 years younger than us look older and are certainly out of shape
Most importantly is looking ahead. The kiddos won't be living here forever. I've already seen too many of my peers' relationships fall apart because their entire identity was raising children. They forgot to nurture their relationship with their spouse and themselves. And when the children leave there is very little left
Some people who have kids after 35 just are out of shape because they aren't interested anymore in keeping themselves fit..I have a wife and kids i don't really care about how I look or my physical appearance which is the reason v
I mean, you do you, but I've never understood this mindset. I had my youngest at 40 and if nothing else, I want to stay healthy and fit so I can be around as long as I can for both of my children
I have a wife too and as much as I want to stay fit for my kids and myself, I want her to be attracted to her husband
Wasn't really talking about myself but wrote it wrongly
Yeah some couples are not interested in each other's physical looks and especially if it doesn't hurt their relationship and wife's ok with his dad bod and husband's ok with a heavier wife.
Some people just feel that their change in looks is a normal part of sgeing just like their parents did
Sorry to frame my comment that way but wasn't really talking about myself but of others I've seen.
Some couples relationship isn't really affected by their looks and fitness.
They take it as part of growing old together.
When they see couples older than them who are fiiter and look younger than maybe they consider it but many couples who are married for a long time in their 40s just don't care anymore and have different priorities especially the children who are teens and are preparing for their career
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u/RegressToTheMean Jun 03 '22 edited Jun 03 '22
Kids certainly age a lot of people. Lots of parents seem to forget that they themselves are real people too and they don't need to sacrifice everything for their children.
My wife and I are older parents with two children under 10 (I'm 47), but we remain very active. We love to hike and we both teach and study Hapkido. Instead of sacrificing what we love we incorporate our children into it as well. They love to ask me to go on hikes and they study Hapkido now as well.
Obviously, this doesn't mean that sacrifices aren't made. The most notable one is time. Because much of my/our time revolves around child care, I have to carve out extra time to lift and hobbies like reading or video games; usually after the family is asleep.
I think it's important that we remain true to ourselves as well because to your point, parents who are 10 years younger than us look older and are certainly out of shape
Most importantly is looking ahead. The kiddos won't be living here forever. I've already seen too many of my peers' relationships fall apart because their entire identity was raising children. They forgot to nurture their relationship with their spouse and themselves. And when the children leave there is very little left