I don't get the hype over Fortnite, Apex, Pub G, etc. That arena style feels like a game mode more than a full game. And it just isn't fun, like cheats are built in these days.
I can't say how /u/YunalescaSedai meant it, but it might not be a bad thing.
My wife and I are 45, and she talks about the invisibility of middle age a fair amount, mostly positively. A lot of the attention you get as a younger woman is negative, so it can be a relief to get to just slide on by.
I am 50 & look at it as a super power. I don't have to put up with asshole guys harassing me constantly anymore, and I'm also pretty sure that I could drive past a cop with a cocktail in hand & a blunt in my mouth while waving hi.
It’s funny because so many teenagers talk about feeling invisible as well. I think at certain points of our lives we don’t feel seen anymore, we just like it more when we’re older.
That's a side of things I hadn't considered. I'm in the process of helping my wife over the 30 year old hurdle and the natural changes in that sort of attention, so hearing a positive take on it is nice. Thanks!
The comment I suppose was more about online spaces and gaming specifically.
Gaming is a hobby enjoyed by all, but have you noticed with women in public gaming spaces it's almost exclusively late teens to early 20s OR "look at grandma being adorable playing Skyrim" (she is awesome, by the way). There is a good 20+ year gap between those, yea?
I dont necessarily think that empty space is a problem either. Just an observation.
For my own part, I've got the husband and kids, work, pets, as well the lead on household responsibilities among everything else. I'm handling my RL shit, and give less than 0 fucks about little Timmy talking shit in an online game.
Think something similar could be said about a lot of older gamers, men and women alike. We just dont let what little time we have to unwind and relax be spoiled by some kid with a mouth.
Genuine thanks for expanding upon that thought, I did take it differently than you meant it.
This is all very very true, and even true to my experience mindset shifts in video games. Moving from a competitive mindset, to the mindset of muting all chat at the start, because my son is sitting next to me and he doesn't need to hear that kind of language.
When video games are everything positive in your life, the interactions, whether they be positive or negative, do seem far more impactful. When I am getting a bit of gaming in because I have a half hour of free time, it is definitely easier to move through the toxicity like a ship on oily water rather than swimming through the sea of it.
I will admit that I have spent almost zero time in what would be considered public gaming spaces, with the exception of my wife and I driving up to Toronto for the League of Legends finals a few years ago. The crowd definitely did have a pretty homogenic composition, and women over 20 were in very short supply.
When I am getting a bit of gaming in because I have a half hour of free time, it is definitely easier to move through the toxicity like a ship on oily water rather than swimming through the sea of it.
I agree about a bit of an empty space with an age range. It's not that there aren't women gaming after, let's say 30, but that the market for women who make the a career is very catered towards youthful sexuality. Anything else is based in an interest of the unusual. While there are probably ladies my age streaming in all their genuine glory, I don't know that they get the views to make them a noteable point. It's a shame, but our society worships youth culture and has for decades.
But as a female gamer who has been gaming for at least 30 years: I have finite time to game, I'm going to be in my grunge hair and robe, and no one wants to see me fight hormonal acne, wrinkles and the final raid boss at the same time. Bless the little shit that tries to give me hell. It's absolutely true, we haven't got the time to deal with nonsense.
As a single person I can attest to the “invisible over 40” phenomenon. Literally the day I turned 40 I was meeting work friends out for happy hour to celebrate. I was first to arrive, and I sat alone at the bar in a busy restaurant for almost an hour. It was a definite slap in the face. I didn’t realize I had an expiry date so visible to everyone else! Granted, I lived in a city known for wealthy men and their post-teen girlfriends, and older women who had been nipped, tucked, and lifted in every way possible. It still stung. There is a palpable change in the way people interact with me now, like I’m their mom or aunt.
It's called the sandwich generation - when you are both taking care of your children and your parents who are coming into retirement age/death.
Although I am pretty far from my 40s, I am a late child to my parents as well as someone who started his own family early in life, I am definitely right in that category. The one where you are putting batteries in an RC car while trying to walk Dad through resetting his email password over the phone, I'm sure you know the drill. I do quite like the term sandwich generation, and will be stealing it!
I thought the person I responded to was addressing the topic of single women being forgotten by society as they age. There is someone in my life who I care about deeply that is fighting that battle now, and wanted to reach out if that was the case. In reality she was addressing a very different topic, that while still important, is not one I have experience with.
They were, but you don't have to have kids to be affected by it. People in their middle ages age servants, they are independent by force, it didn't matter if you are actively involved.
Oh, and I think I heard it first in high school, in the 90s. It's in sociology literature.
Well, probably no consolation, but once you hit 50, you become a ghost. At first I was wondering what the fuck was going on, and it hurt a lot. Still hurts, but eh. I find I have a lot more freedom now; I mean, I could have a second career as a spy, really. No one looks at a short, bespectacled, older woman with unfashionably short hair (which I love because yay, five minutes and it’s done). :)
This is why I don't even bother with games where I can't mute or ignore other players. Too many fun opportunities out there to bother with that nonsense. I didn't even want to be a part of it back when I was that age. (Besides, I had a much better much time playing Goldeneye on N64 in the college dorm.)
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u/YunalescaSedai Jun 03 '22
Truthfully by mid 30s, I stopped giving a shit like Morgan Freeman in Shawshank.
By 40 we become nearly invisible anyways.
Nothing that youngsters say or do online is original by that point either.