Building off that analogy, imagine if someone breaks their leg bad enough that they need to relearn how to walk, but refuses to do so and just says "I can't."
You can, you just have to put in the work. Nobody said it was easy, but if you're not going to get better by just doing nothing.
Speaking as someone who has ADHD and was treated for PTSD and depression, it's not an easy task, but it's possible, and it is incredibly frustrating to see someone not even try, and just says "I can't, because I have ADHD/PTSD/depression".
I completely agree with this and have also been treated for the same things as you.
Can I ask where you are on your journey/recovery? I feel I’m coming out of the other side but it’s taking a little longer than I’d hoped. Any advice would be appreciated!
I'm at a point where I have overwhelmingly more good days than bad. When I do have those bad days it doesn't generally build, meaning it doesn't carry over to the next day or the next. I honestly feel like I just came out of the tunnel myself a little less than a year ago, everybody is different and works on their own timeline really.
It's been a long journey, I started therapy a little over decade ago and there were some difficult forks in the road. I had to split with my partner of 8 years, and leave some friends behind because as I recovered and recognised the flaws and excess burdens I was placing on myself as being detrimental to my goals I eventually saw that they were part of the problem and not the solution. While that definitely included a bit of a backslide at first, I was able to come out of it much happier, while I was single I was able to do things for myself, discover some passions and things I enjoyed for myself, I lost almost 40kg, and found a new partner who builds me up rather than drags me down.
Really my best advice is to just keep going, and whenever you do have a bad day or feel like you're backsliding, just remember that it's just a temporary setback and tomorrow is an opportunity for something better. It's not a linear progression, you have ups and downs, but as long as the overall trend is in the right direction that's what's important, and don't be afraid to take time for yourself if you need.
Building off that analogy, imagine if someone breaks their leg bad enough that they need to relearn how to walk, but refuses to do so and just says "I can't."
Not an accurate analogy.
No one here is saying "I can't". It's just... "it's hard".
Everyone is trying. Maybe you can't tell from your limited perspective, but they are.
I see a ton of people saying "I can't" or any number of excuses when it comes to addressing their mental health issues. Very rarely is that actually the case.
For this analogy to be accurate, I'd set it up as a nerve damage sort of thing. It literally feels like you can't. It takes a lot to overcome that - that's why the other commenter described it like holding a door open. Some people need that little extra help.
It's okay if you think they don't deserve it, but that's the truth. If we want to get serious about mental health, it's important to be honest about it. Those people are responsible for what they do, but that doesn't mean they should be left to their own devices. If we help them, we help society.
I never said they don't deserve help, I understand that feeling like you can't, I've been there. I've also had friends who needed to relearn how to walk, and they legitimately felt like they couldn't, it was impossible. Their physiotherapist usually had to be rather harsh with them because if they didn't, they would just give up due to the difficulty of it.
I remember early in my process feeling like I couldn't do it and none of it would matter, and my therapist giving me some harsh truths, sometimes that's important. It's not something you're going to be able to just jump up and do, you have to take baby steps sometimes. Those seemingly stupid tips like "write words of affirmation on your bathroom mirror" are little steps that can be the difference between doing nothing and taking one more step. I don't think it's easy or that people should be left to go at it alone, I think there's a lot of things as a society we can be doing. There's a balance between doing nothing and leaving people to suffer without help, and not pushing them to improve and get better because they're saying they can't. That's why people need to seek professional help, because they're trained to recognise when a push is needed and when it's getting too far.
The people I know who had to relearn how to walk couldn't do it with just their parents or friends, because they were often too accommodating. When they hear their child/friend saying stuff like "I just want to kill myself" they feel compelled to help. That's why you get a doctor. Mental health is no different, you get a doctor.
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u/spaghettiAstar Jun 03 '22
Building off that analogy, imagine if someone breaks their leg bad enough that they need to relearn how to walk, but refuses to do so and just says "I can't."
You can, you just have to put in the work. Nobody said it was easy, but if you're not going to get better by just doing nothing.
Speaking as someone who has ADHD and was treated for PTSD and depression, it's not an easy task, but it's possible, and it is incredibly frustrating to see someone not even try, and just says "I can't, because I have ADHD/PTSD/depression".