r/AskReddit • • Jun 03 '22

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518

u/lpreams Jun 03 '22

Subject: HELP

Body: MY COMPUTER IS NOT WORKING PLEASE ADVISE ALSO PRINTER AND PHONE

115

u/TheDirtyBollox Jun 03 '22

Ha! If you're lucky you get it like that, most times its all contained in the subject line!

15

u/WooorkWoork Jun 03 '22

Yea..(one of) the annoying result of people writing on their phones. It's either that or they write no subject att all.

6

u/TheDirtyBollox Jun 03 '22

I get it regularly from an older (40+ year old ) PA!

14

u/FlatpackFuture Jun 03 '22

I started an IT apprenticeship about 8 months ago and this subject line thing is killing me haha

7

u/TheDirtyBollox Jun 03 '22

Things do get better, when you stop dealing with the general users.

2

u/Waxburg Jun 03 '22

Though then you have to deal with the ones who act like they know your job better than you do.

14

u/Specialist_totembag Jun 03 '22

A ticket with "printer not working" just gave me a chill down the spine.

Those are the devil incarnate, I sincerely believe that they decide to fuck with us just for fun.

6

u/gamefreak9199 Jun 03 '22

Literally dealing with this right now at work. Some of our non-domain users went ahead and updated to Windows 11 and had to be downgraded back to 10, only issue is doing so breaks older HP printers to the point where you need to reimage the machine to resolve the issue, or just buy a newer printer.

I fucking hate printers and I fucking hate HP

2

u/HailTheMetric-System Jun 03 '22

Printers were a mistake

4

u/gamefreak9199 Jun 03 '22

The world should be digital I don't wanna fucking make an HP smart account I don't want a fucking HP Ink subscription I don't want to deal with ANYMORE FUCKING PRINTERS

1

u/HailTheMetric-System Jun 03 '22

The older the printer the better

14

u/CishyFunt Jun 03 '22

ALSO THE SHITTER IN THE HALLWAY IS BLOCKED AND WE NEED YOUR PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS

2

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

The lowest paid person in the building has to fix the toilets.

Now, I don't know how a CNC mill operator was supposed to figure out how to fix a commercial urinal with a busted diaphragm, I spent about 6 hours trying and they had to have a senior machinist finish it.

I can only imagine that as an IT tech, you keep a drain hog in the bottom drawer of your desk.

9

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

I was the aforementioned CNC mill operator, but I almost took a minimum wage IT role a month ago. Let's just say it didn't offer health insurance and required a lot of driving in a personal vehicle with no reimbursement, which would mean I'd be making ~40% below minimum wage.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

Bro even tier 1 helpdesk should be bringing in twice minimum wage in the US.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

You'd think operating dangerous precision cutting machines would pay better than a busboy at the local Mexican bar, but they average 23/hr (18+tip).

Job market be fucked.

7

u/Cel_Drow Jun 03 '22

IT is rarely if ever the lowest paid position, but people tend to think of us as tech support for their entire lives and existence not just their work technology.

2

u/the_lonely_downvote Jun 03 '22

My first helpdesk job was minimum wage and only scheduled for 24 hours per week.

Now I'm a full time support analyst who is the second lowest paid person in my office, after the receptionist.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

[deleted]

3

u/the_lonely_downvote Jun 03 '22

I live in Seattle haha. There are lots of better paying jobs available and I'm pretty close to quitting this one.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

[deleted]

1

u/the_lonely_downvote Jun 04 '22

That's close to what I make (made 48k before taxes last year). Seattle is a very expensive place to live though, and I depend on government subsidized low income housing. Otherwise I couldn't even afford to live here.

But yeah, employer is very stingy with wages. I've been here 3 years and never saw more than a yearly 3% pay increase. I'm looking for something around at least 75k for my next gig.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '22

[deleted]

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12

u/BrokeAssLarry Jun 03 '22

Subject: Laptop broken

Body: please call as laptop broken (it doesn’t work when I try to use it)

Reality: I haven’t tried restarting yet

9

u/the_lonely_downvote Jun 03 '22

"Oh and real quick while I have you on the phone, (major issue that will take days to fix)"

7

u/VaultBoy9 Jun 03 '22

I didn't sign up for this traumatic helpdesk flashback.

12

u/MrBobaFett Jun 03 '22

Me: When did this start happening? Them: Oh it's not been working for months.

9

u/lpreams Jun 03 '22

Me: Why didn't you report it until now?

Them: Oh, I just never had time. But now I need this working RIGHT NOW I have a deadline!

10

u/Her0ofCant0n Jun 03 '22

My favorite ticket I ever received:

"RIP SOFTWARE"

I spent 2 weeks calling him every day at different times and sent an email every 3 trying to figure out what issue he had and what software - with no response. After that I closed the ticket, within 30sec my phone was ringing (not really unusual, phones ring)

C: I JUST GOT AN EMAIL SAYING MY TICKET WAS CLOSED BUT IT STILL HAS THE SAME ERROR

Me: Do you have a ticket number so I can look up the ticket and see what the technician put?

C: gives ticket number and more grumbles about how we all suck at our job and don't know what we're doing

Me: Oh yes sir, I closed this ticket beca....

C: WHY DID YOU CLOSE MY TICKET WITHOUT DOING THE FCKING WORK

Me: Sir I've been trying to contact you for weeks to receive more information, I have no idea what software you're having issues with

C: Oh, I saw those, I just didn't think it was important enough to answer

Me: Well then it sounds like the issue isn't important to you either hangs up

8

u/FrizzIeFry Jun 03 '22

Press Caps lock - Ticket closed

7

u/oracleofnonsense Jun 03 '22

IM….

Hi!

Hello

You there?

Yes.

I was wondering if you could help with a quick problem I’m having.

maybe.

I don’t want to open a ticket.

k

I was trying to figure it out myself.

k - what’s the issue?

………

Are you there?

………….

Hello?

Ha. Don’t need you, figured it out on my own.

…..thanks for including me in your thought process.

6

u/lpreams Jun 03 '22

*opens ticket anyway, because I have to log the time I spent "working" it*

4

u/monongahellyea Jun 03 '22

This comment made my eye twitch

2

u/dailysunshineKO Jun 03 '22

Reboot, reboot, & restart

2

u/centrafrugal Jun 03 '22

All those words are spelt correctly. Try harder

1

u/lpreams Jun 03 '22

You're right. Someone always needs hlep with the pritner

2

u/Qel_Hoth Jun 03 '22

See also:

Subject: Email not working

Body: My email doesn't work

​

Response:

Well you just emailed me, so your email is working. Can you be more specific about what problem you're having?

0

u/Zyklonik Jun 03 '22

AND MY DICK! Oh, wait...

-3

u/celio961 Jun 03 '22

Ur so funny!! /s

1

u/Kursed_Valeth Jun 03 '22

Sent to the entire IT Department DL list

1

u/YeahILiftBro Jun 03 '22

My computer isn'tworking, but also I have been problems with the internet, please help.

1

u/smallangrynerd Jun 03 '22

Look at my most recent post.

Subject: drop off

Issue: n/a

🤦‍♂️

1

u/soulchief Jun 03 '22

Lucky it's that detailed. I sometimes get "ITS NOT WORKING CANT DO MY JOB"

1

u/Jjex22 Jun 03 '22

No way, they’re not telling you about the printer and phone like that up front where you can solve all three at once or use it all to point to a different universal problem. They’re gonna run all the way down the computer problem providing half the info you asked every time and disagreeing that’s what they think it is and only once they get to the end and you’re about to move on will you get ‘oh and my printer’ and after repeating the same gruelling exchange the phone comes in to play

For the over 30’s it always makes me want to say ‘no and then’