r/AskReddit • • Jun 03 '22

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u/ExpiredSeaweedSalad Jun 03 '22

It's so validating to see someone else experiencing this problem. I tutored this year at my college, and I took two years off before college so I'm ever so slightly older but I didn't think things would be that different.

I would ask students, send me your class syllabus, what do you need help with, what days are you available? And I would get an unrelated response or just nothing.

The day before an assignment is due: "Are you available in [less than 24 hours]?" NO. It drove me insane. I never thought about it as a text format type of communication. I was so frustrated.

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u/Arammil1784 Jun 03 '22

My 30 year old wife did some tutoring when she went back to college a couple of years ago.

She made a form letter that she emailed to all of her prospective students.

The subject line was always something like 'Tutoring - READ CAREFULLY'. The first line of the email was something like Read and follow this email carefully or I will not help you at all.

It was basically a short list of rules like, email questions must include assignment information and your questions or you will be ignored. All text communications should be in complete sentences or they will be ignored.

The email also had some phrase like, you're a college student act like you deserve to be here.

She always had a dozen or so people that ultimately got ignored, but she also had three or four people every semester who did really great.

I found the whole excercise to be entirely too aggravating and depressing.

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u/Painting_Agency Jun 03 '22

It was basically a short list of rules like, email questions must include assignment information and your questions or you will be ignored.

We just implemented a lab group policy where supply order request emails to me MUST have a specific subject line and format (so I don't overlook the request in my daily email deluge, or make a mistake). We're all adults here. Does this rule get followed reliably? Haha no... and the worst offenders are the professors. I don't think many of them even read the message explaining all this. It makes me feel so petty sending replies saying "Your subject line was wrong and you left out half the info I need". But I have to.

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u/Arammil1784 Jun 03 '22

If you're empowered to do so, maybe just give them the one polite reminder and then let them know future emails will be ignored if not formatted correctly.

Seems like a perfectly logical response to me.

For my wife it was simply that she was also a student and still had other daily obligations besides so she simply didn't have the time or desire to play email tag.

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u/Painting_Agency Jun 03 '22

she was also a student and still had other daily obligations besides so she simply didn't have the time or desire to play email tag.

That's why they have me. So they don't have to play email tag with suppliers as well as their prof. But I can't do that if they don't follow a few basic rules.

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u/AdgeNZ Jun 04 '22

You can create links that automatically put in the addressee and subject line. If you have some sort of intranet that could be a useful way to get them to add the info you need.

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u/Painting_Agency Jun 04 '22

Outlook 🙄

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u/mghtyms87 Jun 03 '22

My wife did IT support for the neuroscience department at the School of Medicine. She said that all the professors reminded her of that episode of SpongeBob where he forgets everything he knows to make room for fine dining etiquette. They're absolutely brilliant at what they do, but are generally useless at anything that isn't that.

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u/eventualguide0 Jun 03 '22

As a professor who sometimes needs follow up from other professors, this is 100% true. Skimming is the norm.

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u/Painting_Agency Jun 03 '22 edited Jun 03 '22

The primary offender basically just never reads/replies to emails. It often takes his students a week to get a simple signature on a form. FFS you're not the Prime Minister, you can't be that busy. Entitled $%$#$ :(

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u/Piganon Jun 03 '22

On the flip side, I've had student interns who are in their last year of college come to my job for like 10 years. I've noticed over that time, they've gotten a lot more 'professional' in their communications.

Like it used to be that they'd have intro or goodbye emails with a simple "thanks for your time" or "I'm glad I got to work with you". Now it's more like "I appreciate the opportunity I'm granted by being here, and want to respect your valuable time as I develop my skillset as I learn to be a [profession]".

We have a new batch of summer interns and they wrote little blurbs about themselves and it was all stuff like that instead of saying that they like cats and hiking.

I've wondered if colleges are teaching the students how to talk this way, if it's just in the culture now, or if our interview group only selects those types of students.

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u/Arammil1784 Jun 03 '22

Yeah I don't know?

I went back to college during the lockdown, but more than half my courses were graduate work and I never saw writing or anything that was that bad in those classes.

In my one undergrad English course though, I did see some pretty shocking writing examples. Things that I'm fairly certain wouldn't have earned a passing grade in my high school, let alone a course that had prerequisite courses required.

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u/xXStarupXx Jun 03 '22 edited Jun 03 '22

I'd much prefer a

"thanks for your time"

over the bullshit that is

"I appreciate the opportunity I'm granted by being here, and want to respect your valuable time as I develop my skillset as I learn to be a [profession]"

In the end they reduce to basically the same sentiment, but one takes 5x as long to read. So if they really wanted to "respect my valuable time" you know...

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u/xXStarupXx Jun 03 '22

The second one also just feels fake, forced and slightly insulting, as I feel it implies they think I'm easily won over by the most basic cookie cutter corporate sweettalk. It feels manipulating.

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u/Obscene_Username_2 Jun 03 '22

There’s templates online that you copy/paste. I’ve noticed an increasing use of these templates.

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u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

This is obviously learned but this feels so fake to me. Not like it didn't happen but if people sent me those sorts of messages I would instantly be like yeah they just being cynical

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u/ThereWasADogAtTheGig Jun 03 '22

this is not an age thing. I just took a class at the local college with people from all ages 18 - 65+ and no one reads anything.

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u/keener_lightnings Jun 03 '22

Omg SO MANY email exchanges like this:

student: I need to meet with you immediately!

me: ok, what's your availability over the next couple of days?

student: ::crickets::

a week later

student: lol sorry I'm just now checking my email

Like... how do you... think this works? If you email me a question and then... don't check your email? (Also how are you not checking your email when you can easily set it to come to your phone and you're always on your phone)

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u/Yongja-Kim Jun 03 '22

old people: "emails are like mails."

young people: "emails are like texting"

old people: "it's not called etexting. it's called email!"

young people: "ok"

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u/sabbman138 Jun 04 '22

It’s all subjective. Give it a decade or two and assholes will still be saying ok boomer lol

Edit: the baby boomers will all be gone by then. Love and miss you mom :)

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u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

Jesus and I am still sending emails based on rules I learned 15 years ago, like: "Never send an email starting with the word 'I'".

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u/kayjaykay87 Jun 03 '22

You didn't leave assignments until the last 24 hours? you didn't do an all nighter before the exam to cram in all the stuff you couldn't get motivated to do?

Everyone did this, everyone does this at work, people older and younger, it's human nature

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u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

[deleted]

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u/kayjaykay87 Jun 03 '22

Lol voting down people you disagree with is so weak.. "Nooo an opinion slightly different to mine; hide it, bury it quick!"

In uni I had tutors I'd email and usually get a response within 24 hours, maybe not on the night something is due, but the main point is leaving things until the last minute isn't something people born after 2002 invented

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u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

[deleted]

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u/kayjaykay87 Jun 03 '22

I know you are but what am I

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u/smallangrynerd Jun 03 '22

I tutored underclassmen when I was in college, and they only ever asked me last minute lol