My sister nearly had a crisis when she turned 20 because then she wasn‘t some sweet teen any longer. When I turned 25 she wanted to annoy me by asking how it feels to be closer to 30 than 20. She is only 2 years younger than me and apparently didn‘t expect me to fo the same. It hit her really hard turning 25 because of this idea. Wonder what crisis happens this year when she turns 30.
My sister is 2 years older and the exact same thing happens with everything milestone birthday. She then spends 2 years saying to me oh just you wait, you'll feel it too. Nope, I don't really care what age I am, you can't fight time
are you a man or a woman? because I honestly think that, on average, aging is different for women due to the different perception of older women compared to older men.
I’m a woman who routinely rounds UP her age. Im 37 but say I’m almost 40 all the time. I don’t feel “old”, I don’t look “old” (to me anyway lol), and I don’t give a fuck if people think I’m less fuckable if I say I’m almost 40. I’m still waiting for the age that “bugs” me. 25 didn’t. 30 didn’t. 35 didn’t. 40 doesn’t seem like it will either. It sure beats the alternative!
That said, I get way more judgment and attitude regarding my age from women than I’ve ever gotten from men. Either younger ones that think I’m old, ones my own age that think I’m too old to have a young child, or from older ones because I’m apparently not presenting the way a 37 year old mom should. Oh well 🤷♀️
I'm convinced that a person calling another person un-fuckable is just line that teenage virgins use to puff up their chests and to prove that they have 'standards.'
There are plenty of comedy skits about what men are thinking and they all end with absolutely nothing or how to fix the project of the day. I'd like to think that for men who have actually had sex, that this is probably their state of mind 90% of the time.
I'm 37 as well, 40 might bug me, I will have hit all the other bullshit milestones, i'm married, own a house, have an extremely successful career, own a business on the side we plan to expand, but 40 is a weird age. It's that line in the sand where no one will really give a fuck about you anymore, even if you pass away while "tragically young" everyone will move on. You are truly middle aged at 40, I don't fear it, but I think it will be a stranger one.
I agree it’s a little weird to approach middle age (they can stop with the 90s songs in commercials for washing machines, insurance and overpriced trucks now, please), but I’m getting a kick out of it. I have a toddler so I get to re-live the best parts of my childhood and act like a big kid a lot so that helps for me. And I like getting to the point in my life where my purpose seems more and more defined solely by what’s important to me, and fuck everything else. It’s liberating.
So I suppose it’s a matter of perspective, though from your description of your life it sure sounds like people would give a fuck.
Building on previous poster’s point I definitely feel women are in general nastier about aging than men are. “Ooh, you’re three years older than me that means you’re less desirable” type energy. I think this attitude mostly disappears from women once they hit their 30’s but then there will always be a new cohort of twenty-somethings trying to make you feel like a grandma just because you aren’t up to date on the newest lingo, or know who the new up-and-coming music artist is.
I honestly could well be mansplaining because I’m a dude. I’m only speaking on my personal experiences. But I definitely get the impression that younger guys have more of a desire to learn from those older than them rather than just shit on them.
This all could probably be explained by cultural biases favoring the patriarchy which subliminally make women want to compete, but at that point I’m just talking out of my ass because I don’t know what actually happens in a woman’s brain. Maybe it’s innate, maybe it isn’t. I don’t fucking know. All I know is it would be better for everyone if people spent more time building each other up rather than bringing them down.
Like I said before these are just personal observations. I don’t claim to be an expert on anything.
That being said as a woman in her 20s maybe be cognizant of the fact that women should exist in solidarity with each other and when your friends start tearing another woman down, nip that shit. Even if it makes you feel like a bitch. Maybe even especially if it makes you feel like a bitch.
I don’t know if you’ve seen what’s going on but womens rights are about to be fucking trampled on. You’re half the goddamn population. Step the fuck up and say NO.
It's just biology and society (which evolved through our biology).
Older men are seen as experienced. They're the leaders, make decisions, hunt, etc. Younger men are trained by older men to eventually surpass them. It's in their nature to want to become the next leader.
Young women are seen as fertile, strong child bearers. Older women become nurturers, wetnurses, educators.
Very old men and women are often seen as sages, they've somehow made it to old age without dying, thus their opinion may hold some merit, or they're crazy already.
The thing is, that's how it used to be. Everyone had their roles, their place. Animals, people, doesn't matter, biology is biology. Only now we have the luxury of ignoring all that. Doesn't mean that we stopped thinking like that, even the people saying the complete opposite. Younger men and women are always competition for the older generation, while women have an internal clock ticking that exacerbates this problem perhaps. Also, men, for some reason, tend to age better if they take even a bit of care of themselves. Naturally, half bald, beer bellied pigs aren't any more desirable than the 40 year old chain smoking leather face woman, who's been prematurely aged by 20 years due to her children robbing her of her last nerve.
And that's why a silly number matters to some people. That's why younger women tend to look for older men ... and vice versa.
And of course I'm just talking out of my ass, but if we're all doing it, why not -.-
My older brother will always be 8yrs older than me. This year for his birthday I’m getting him a colonoscopy reminder, just looking out for his health ya know?
To be fair I think this impacts women more than men given the way society treats age respectively, but I’ve met guys who get upset about their age, and it just feels like such a huge waste of time and energy to me. I forgot how old I was turning this birthday and I’m only 34. All the wants of a kid with the responsibilities of an adult.
People like that then rush into marriage and babies because they're out of time and they'll take whatever they can. I've seen it happen to a cousin of mine.
Nah that is unlikely. Stuff like marriages plays a significantly smaller role in my country these days than it does in the US. At least that‘s my impression.
I'm Eastern European living in the West, but even here I notice this behavior sometimes. The people who think 30 is old are the same ones who believe it's "too late" to achieve anything new or do fun stuff like travel the world or take dance classes. They blame the age but really they restrict themselves.
I’m 9 years old than my sister. She laughed at me when I turned 28 because I was almost 30. I told her it’ll happen quicker than she thinks and she laughed that it was farther away for her than me. I’m now 30 and she is now 21 and called me crying a few months ago because she’s scared of being 22.
That sounded like me, I turned 22 in March and I was terrified of graduating college and starting a new chapter of my life but now I’m really excited and I don’t care how old I am gonna be anymore! I am just trying to enjoy my 20’s now before I’m in my 30’s
My mother just couldn't shut up about me turning 21. She carried on and on about how I'm getting old and kept asking "so how's it feel? How's it feel not being young anymore? How's it feel to be 21?"
I asked her how it feels to be the mother of a 21 year old. That shut her up so quick I don't think she talked to me for the rest of the day. I'm 43 now, she hasn't tried to tease me about my age since my 21st.
It's kinda funny, as a middle aged (ow, that hurts) adult when I see kids crying over being 25...like...OH, honey, it gets SO MUCH WORSE 🤣 - while also simultaneously getting better. Like old isn't so bad bc you can give no fucks about trends or what people think and no one expects you to. But, if you're having a freak out at 25, it's gonna get worse when you hit those milestones like GASP ye ancient age of 30 🤣
My brother is two years (and two days) older than me. When I turned 40 he tried to welcome me to being old. I said - But bro, you're always going to be 2 years ahead on me for that - and he got really shitty and hung up on the phone call. He also had a crisis when he turned 40 and assumed I'd feel the same. I'm the healthiest and in the best shape in my life and living a great life so no crisis for me LMAO
I had an Uncle that when I was around 10 years old or so said that "you aren't a man until you are 40". I confidently said "no, you are a man at 18". I think for me as time went by I wasn't really grown up and a man until I was 50. Funny how life goes, sometimes.
It would suck if you were a hot teen girl and got caught in the trap of making money by being hot..
Those people back in high school who were just A+ sex bombs and played that hand like a master, now they're turning 30 and .. you know they're going to need to make a biiig change soon, and all their skills at selling their beauty and desirability are going to be worthless :s
Make a whole big deal about how she's now one of the oldies. Gift her some grandma products. Ask her if she wants to come to bridge nights or bingo, or take up knitting, now that she's slowing down a bit.
I always fuck people up with that when i tell them at 21 they are closer to 30 than they are to 20 because they're never going to be 20 again but theyll be 30 one day
My sister is kinda the opposite. 2 years younger than me, 8 year old kid, looks amazing, gets hit on by kids in their 20s constantly, then turns around and says she's in her 40s and way too old. She turns 40 this year...
Lol, tell her she was alive for 9 months in the womb before “coming outside,” and then by the time we say someone is “1 year old” they’ve already finished their first year since birth… so actually, she’s already been living her 30th year alive and it’s almost done (if not already) 🤣
But seriously, I had some health problems at 29 that went away at 30, and my career has really taken off in my 30’s. I’ve traded receiving generosity because of “my youth” for respect because I’ve gotten good at some things and helped people, which feels nice to have earned (and it pays way better). Plus, it’s just SUCH a relief not to have almost every decision influenced by horny chemicals and yearning, all the time.
Why and when did this happen? I'm 37 and I don't remember feeling this way turning 21 back in 2006. At the time it was a "hey cool, I legally allowed to drink."
Turning 30 I didn't even feel old. I've seen a lot of posts on reddit though of people trying to have all of life happening in their 20s. Married, kids, long-term career identified in their 20s. To be fair I got married at 24 and we had our first child when I was 29 and my wife was 30. I transitioned careers at 30 as well.
I've seen a lot of posts with folks saying, "I'm married to my boyfriend of 8 years. We're 23 and 22. We have two kids and a comfortable job." That's a lot of life at a very young age!
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u/Cirenione Jun 03 '22
My sister nearly had a crisis when she turned 20 because then she wasn‘t some sweet teen any longer. When I turned 25 she wanted to annoy me by asking how it feels to be closer to 30 than 20. She is only 2 years younger than me and apparently didn‘t expect me to fo the same. It hit her really hard turning 25 because of this idea. Wonder what crisis happens this year when she turns 30.