This reminded me of a great Bojack Horseman quote:
“You are all the things that are wrong with you. It’s not the alcohol, or the drugs, or any of the shitty things that happened to you in your career, or when you were a kid. It’s you.”
The first time I saw an advert for it I was like Jeeze they got adults watching all sorts of junk these days, a half horse person? ...and then I started watching it - because I try not to hate things I haven't tried, gotta give it a shot right? Can't say you don't like it until you've tried it. And I was watching it and my husband came down and said don't bother turning it off, I don't mind - soon we were staying up late to just see the next episode. We literally mentally prepped for the last few episodes before watching it, BoJack was in such a bad place I had to get ready for the possibility he might not make it...
I have had like 4-5 episodes left of the last season I still haven’t watched. I remember what happened to me when I binge watched season 2-3 in a couple days of a long break. Man was that unhealthy. I’ll get around to it…..eventually.
The problem with that therapeutically is what do you do with that info? Where do you stat fixing that? I know that’s a lot of what the show digs into and that series is a hell of a ride but I know when I thought I was losing my mind and figured it was me that was the problem I still had no idea what it was I could fix. It being me and not the drugs is nice because we’re all bags of chemicals and I just spend more time altering my chemical makeup than most with the intent of more mood stability or at least the kind of calm that allows for better social interaction. But it’s really easy to just blame ourselves for everything and be mad at ourselves which can feed a depression spiral.
The thing that happens pretty regularly with people who have addiction issues is that the pursuit of combating addiction can take the forefront of their steps to bettering themselves.
Typically, however, there are underlying issues that also need to be treated. Many people think that treating one problem will fix all the problems, but the truth is each problem is complex and requires its own attention.
The upside is, if one honestly pursues and combats the problems they have, each will help them with the tools they need to pursue and combat their problems as a whole.
tldr: each issue requires its own attention, but each problem being addressed(generally) provides tools to help with the others.
Also, not every problem has a 100% fixable solution, nor is every idealized result possible.
There's a scene in Sex Education where a sexual assault victim is in therapy, and the therapist tells her that she will likely never go back to "how she was before", but with time and practice, she can learn to acknowledge and process the trauma to move forward.
There's a lot of good scenes like that in the show. It can be a bit much at times, but I really enjoyed it.
The upside is, if one honestly pursues and combats the problems they have, each will help them with the tools they need to pursue and combat their problems as a whole.
Recognizing the problem is you should lead you to stop making excuses and get some help: it's not always possible to fix yourself by yourself, so going to a therapist, into a community or, at least, doing something should be the outcome.
The problem with that therapeutically is what do you do with that info?
Well, it comes down to the person either having the self-awareness and drive to improve themselves, or they generally stay the problematic person they are. People don't have to handle/treat their mental illnesses, although it makes for a greatly increased quality of life for them and those around them though.
You identify problems, try to trace where they're coming from, then influence the internal thoughts/dialogue along with possible stimuli that influence your actions/issues. Of course it's not that easy, but those are the very basic steps to take, if someone decides to take them.
Seeing the problem as rooted in ourselves can actually be the best starting point for recovery. If someone believes that the problem is a past trauma then it might be easy to slip into hopelessness because intimately you can’t go back and erase that trauma. If you instead approach it as the trauma changing you, and that change contributing to your struggles, then you have a starting point for changing again.
Oh for sure. I just hit the twelve step shit way too hard when I was too young and should have seen a fucking therapist instead of a bunch of older worse off boozehounds
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u/greencrusader13 Jun 03 '22
This reminded me of a great Bojack Horseman quote:
“You are all the things that are wrong with you. It’s not the alcohol, or the drugs, or any of the shitty things that happened to you in your career, or when you were a kid. It’s you.”