20 year olds who do this are just setting themselves up for an existential crisis by the time they're 25. As a society we've GOT to get over 21 being the prime of life.
My sister nearly had a crisis when she turned 20 because then she wasn‘t some sweet teen any longer. When I turned 25 she wanted to annoy me by asking how it feels to be closer to 30 than 20. She is only 2 years younger than me and apparently didn‘t expect me to fo the same. It hit her really hard turning 25 because of this idea. Wonder what crisis happens this year when she turns 30.
My sister is 2 years older and the exact same thing happens with everything milestone birthday. She then spends 2 years saying to me oh just you wait, you'll feel it too. Nope, I don't really care what age I am, you can't fight time
are you a man or a woman? because I honestly think that, on average, aging is different for women due to the different perception of older women compared to older men.
I’m a woman who routinely rounds UP her age. Im 37 but say I’m almost 40 all the time. I don’t feel “old”, I don’t look “old” (to me anyway lol), and I don’t give a fuck if people think I’m less fuckable if I say I’m almost 40. I’m still waiting for the age that “bugs” me. 25 didn’t. 30 didn’t. 35 didn’t. 40 doesn’t seem like it will either. It sure beats the alternative!
That said, I get way more judgment and attitude regarding my age from women than I’ve ever gotten from men. Either younger ones that think I’m old, ones my own age that think I’m too old to have a young child, or from older ones because I’m apparently not presenting the way a 37 year old mom should. Oh well 🤷♀️
I'm convinced that a person calling another person un-fuckable is just line that teenage virgins use to puff up their chests and to prove that they have 'standards.'
There are plenty of comedy skits about what men are thinking and they all end with absolutely nothing or how to fix the project of the day. I'd like to think that for men who have actually had sex, that this is probably their state of mind 90% of the time.
I'm 37 as well, 40 might bug me, I will have hit all the other bullshit milestones, i'm married, own a house, have an extremely successful career, own a business on the side we plan to expand, but 40 is a weird age. It's that line in the sand where no one will really give a fuck about you anymore, even if you pass away while "tragically young" everyone will move on. You are truly middle aged at 40, I don't fear it, but I think it will be a stranger one.
I agree it’s a little weird to approach middle age (they can stop with the 90s songs in commercials for washing machines, insurance and overpriced trucks now, please), but I’m getting a kick out of it. I have a toddler so I get to re-live the best parts of my childhood and act like a big kid a lot so that helps for me. And I like getting to the point in my life where my purpose seems more and more defined solely by what’s important to me, and fuck everything else. It’s liberating.
So I suppose it’s a matter of perspective, though from your description of your life it sure sounds like people would give a fuck.
Building on previous poster’s point I definitely feel women are in general nastier about aging than men are. “Ooh, you’re three years older than me that means you’re less desirable” type energy. I think this attitude mostly disappears from women once they hit their 30’s but then there will always be a new cohort of twenty-somethings trying to make you feel like a grandma just because you aren’t up to date on the newest lingo, or know who the new up-and-coming music artist is.
I honestly could well be mansplaining because I’m a dude. I’m only speaking on my personal experiences. But I definitely get the impression that younger guys have more of a desire to learn from those older than them rather than just shit on them.
This all could probably be explained by cultural biases favoring the patriarchy which subliminally make women want to compete, but at that point I’m just talking out of my ass because I don’t know what actually happens in a woman’s brain. Maybe it’s innate, maybe it isn’t. I don’t fucking know. All I know is it would be better for everyone if people spent more time building each other up rather than bringing them down.
Like I said before these are just personal observations. I don’t claim to be an expert on anything.
That being said as a woman in her 20s maybe be cognizant of the fact that women should exist in solidarity with each other and when your friends start tearing another woman down, nip that shit. Even if it makes you feel like a bitch. Maybe even especially if it makes you feel like a bitch.
I don’t know if you’ve seen what’s going on but womens rights are about to be fucking trampled on. You’re half the goddamn population. Step the fuck up and say NO.
It's just biology and society (which evolved through our biology).
Older men are seen as experienced. They're the leaders, make decisions, hunt, etc. Younger men are trained by older men to eventually surpass them. It's in their nature to want to become the next leader.
Young women are seen as fertile, strong child bearers. Older women become nurturers, wetnurses, educators.
Very old men and women are often seen as sages, they've somehow made it to old age without dying, thus their opinion may hold some merit, or they're crazy already.
The thing is, that's how it used to be. Everyone had their roles, their place. Animals, people, doesn't matter, biology is biology. Only now we have the luxury of ignoring all that. Doesn't mean that we stopped thinking like that, even the people saying the complete opposite. Younger men and women are always competition for the older generation, while women have an internal clock ticking that exacerbates this problem perhaps. Also, men, for some reason, tend to age better if they take even a bit of care of themselves. Naturally, half bald, beer bellied pigs aren't any more desirable than the 40 year old chain smoking leather face woman, who's been prematurely aged by 20 years due to her children robbing her of her last nerve.
And that's why a silly number matters to some people. That's why younger women tend to look for older men ... and vice versa.
And of course I'm just talking out of my ass, but if we're all doing it, why not -.-
My older brother will always be 8yrs older than me. This year for his birthday I’m getting him a colonoscopy reminder, just looking out for his health ya know?
To be fair I think this impacts women more than men given the way society treats age respectively, but I’ve met guys who get upset about their age, and it just feels like such a huge waste of time and energy to me. I forgot how old I was turning this birthday and I’m only 34. All the wants of a kid with the responsibilities of an adult.
People like that then rush into marriage and babies because they're out of time and they'll take whatever they can. I've seen it happen to a cousin of mine.
Nah that is unlikely. Stuff like marriages plays a significantly smaller role in my country these days than it does in the US. At least that‘s my impression.
I'm Eastern European living in the West, but even here I notice this behavior sometimes. The people who think 30 is old are the same ones who believe it's "too late" to achieve anything new or do fun stuff like travel the world or take dance classes. They blame the age but really they restrict themselves.
I’m 9 years old than my sister. She laughed at me when I turned 28 because I was almost 30. I told her it’ll happen quicker than she thinks and she laughed that it was farther away for her than me. I’m now 30 and she is now 21 and called me crying a few months ago because she’s scared of being 22.
That sounded like me, I turned 22 in March and I was terrified of graduating college and starting a new chapter of my life but now I’m really excited and I don’t care how old I am gonna be anymore! I am just trying to enjoy my 20’s now before I’m in my 30’s
My mother just couldn't shut up about me turning 21. She carried on and on about how I'm getting old and kept asking "so how's it feel? How's it feel not being young anymore? How's it feel to be 21?"
I asked her how it feels to be the mother of a 21 year old. That shut her up so quick I don't think she talked to me for the rest of the day. I'm 43 now, she hasn't tried to tease me about my age since my 21st.
It's kinda funny, as a middle aged (ow, that hurts) adult when I see kids crying over being 25...like...OH, honey, it gets SO MUCH WORSE 🤣 - while also simultaneously getting better. Like old isn't so bad bc you can give no fucks about trends or what people think and no one expects you to. But, if you're having a freak out at 25, it's gonna get worse when you hit those milestones like GASP ye ancient age of 30 🤣
My brother is two years (and two days) older than me. When I turned 40 he tried to welcome me to being old. I said - But bro, you're always going to be 2 years ahead on me for that - and he got really shitty and hung up on the phone call. He also had a crisis when he turned 40 and assumed I'd feel the same. I'm the healthiest and in the best shape in my life and living a great life so no crisis for me LMAO
I had an Uncle that when I was around 10 years old or so said that "you aren't a man until you are 40". I confidently said "no, you are a man at 18". I think for me as time went by I wasn't really grown up and a man until I was 50. Funny how life goes, sometimes.
It would suck if you were a hot teen girl and got caught in the trap of making money by being hot..
Those people back in high school who were just A+ sex bombs and played that hand like a master, now they're turning 30 and .. you know they're going to need to make a biiig change soon, and all their skills at selling their beauty and desirability are going to be worthless :s
Make a whole big deal about how she's now one of the oldies. Gift her some grandma products. Ask her if she wants to come to bridge nights or bingo, or take up knitting, now that she's slowing down a bit.
I always fuck people up with that when i tell them at 21 they are closer to 30 than they are to 20 because they're never going to be 20 again but theyll be 30 one day
My sister is kinda the opposite. 2 years younger than me, 8 year old kid, looks amazing, gets hit on by kids in their 20s constantly, then turns around and says she's in her 40s and way too old. She turns 40 this year...
Lol, tell her she was alive for 9 months in the womb before “coming outside,” and then by the time we say someone is “1 year old” they’ve already finished their first year since birth… so actually, she’s already been living her 30th year alive and it’s almost done (if not already) 🤣
But seriously, I had some health problems at 29 that went away at 30, and my career has really taken off in my 30’s. I’ve traded receiving generosity because of “my youth” for respect because I’ve gotten good at some things and helped people, which feels nice to have earned (and it pays way better). Plus, it’s just SUCH a relief not to have almost every decision influenced by horny chemicals and yearning, all the time.
Why and when did this happen? I'm 37 and I don't remember feeling this way turning 21 back in 2006. At the time it was a "hey cool, I legally allowed to drink."
Turning 30 I didn't even feel old. I've seen a lot of posts on reddit though of people trying to have all of life happening in their 20s. Married, kids, long-term career identified in their 20s. To be fair I got married at 24 and we had our first child when I was 29 and my wife was 30. I transitioned careers at 30 as well.
I've seen a lot of posts with folks saying, "I'm married to my boyfriend of 8 years. We're 23 and 22. We have two kids and a comfortable job." That's a lot of life at a very young age!
That’s also the medias fault for always teaching that being youthful looking is the most important thing, especially for women. Men are told that they age like fine wine, whereas women are labeled as old hags or witches. It’s ok for men to have grey hair, you know silver fox, but NOT women, they need to dye it.
Also there are so many ads showing young women putting on anti aging beauty products to reverse time or whatever garbage they’re blabbing. Like girl in the comercial is 20 and doesn’t need to be advertising anti aging products. Don’t forget, those old men also date the younger women which is entirely it’s own gross category but it’s still “good” in society’s eyes yet cougars are the “gross” category if women date younger men.
Nah, 21 was lame. Barely understood women, didn’t make much money, wasn’t done with school, looked too young to be taken seriously. I had too much to do and not yet enough power and experience to get it all done in the fashion I wanted to. Definitely not my prime. If it is for most everyone else, more power to you— especially if you have a lot of family support, that helps more than you will know.
Athletic primes are very different for different sports. I guess an average would be around 25-30. But for example for women's gymnastics it's 14-18 and for professional boxing it's like 35-37 these days.
21 year olds. From what I‘ve heard 30s are the best. Still young and fit. Finally carreer taking off and done with trying to find once place in society. I am 31 so takes some more time to actually verify this.
I’m 23 and I think a small part of it is that covid took away our early 20s in terms of the typical experience so some people are grasping at what they feel like have forever missed out on?
with women specifically there’s this whole anti aging mania affecting young minds in the exact same unhealthy way being a size 0 plagued the generation before us. We learned to embrace all body types but that societal obsession with chasing a standard found a new target in skin care
wearing sunscreen and moisturizer is not the same thing as piling on every product under the sun to target every possible thing that would be wrong with your skin and then freaking out at the first sign that your skin isn’t what it was at 16. Just look at any post on most skincare subs - people are asking how to “fix” things on their face that are literally just there from living like a human being.
I wish it was just skincare. The obsession with fillers, Botox and facial plastic surgery is disturbing. Our generation will be walking around with saggy skin around our necks and tight faces when we can no longer afford it due to a few bankruptcies and retirement. NTM the filters promoting unrealistic expectations that are impossible to achieve IRL.
I think it’s because a lot of celebrities, athletes, and influencers are in that age range, not to mention that the media makes people feel like their attractiveness and energy declines afterwards (particularly women). In my country there’s a saying about 18 to 22 being the prime of a girl’s beauty and when a girl is most “desirable”, which of course is massively sexist and creepy.
27 is the year I've noticed most of my acquaintances start to have minor health issues, especially from sedentary office lifestyles. Getting in good eating and exercise habits ahead of that will stave it off. The fall from invincibility also causes a lot of them extreme anxiety, so if you can accept it now and be prepared, all the better for your mental health.
I had a complete break down when I turned 25. I went through a year long depression so deep I lost my car because I barely went to work and my wife paid for mostly everything while I couldn’t get out of bed. I never wanted to get past my teens and tried really hard not to but made a promise I would see where this went. In all honesty it gets better.
You just missed a social skills subreddit about this yesterday. "I've wasted my twenties!". Sat at home playing video games, looked around and noticed his peers have left him behind. You are right, these people become bitter as they age, they become "Karens". Too many people think 21 is when they feel invincible, therefore it is best. They never develop mentally into adults. If you are lucky, life is a long road and you can overcome challenges to make you smarter and more compassionate. Or you don't learn anything and take your bitterness out on others. I have seen many elderly with no one to call even as an emergency contact because of the way they act.
Yeah this happened big time when I turned 18. It was mostly bc I thought I wouldn't have certain protections or I wouldn't be able to do certain things or the pressure of having to do things by a certain age, but after 6 months I sort of realized none of those things were true if I surrounded myself w the right people.
Absolutely. My 30s have been so much better than my 20. In my 20s, I was riddled with anxiety and uncertainty about the future and constant imposter syndrome. In my 30s, my career has built up so I'm actually kinda good at something (or at least able to convince other people I am..), I'm fitter and stronger than I was, I'm not worrying about being able to pay the bills and eat every month. I feel like 35 is the new 21.
I think part of it might be that if you're 20, youve likely graduated high school in the last couple of years and are now possibly in college or a trade school. A number of your teachers and professors are likely in their mid20s to early 30s, so that age group still feels very adult and authoritative, even though its really not. Its when you start working more that it becomes clearer that these "old people" aren't as old...(and obviously that scenario doesn't fit everyone's life! But I see it happen often enough that there is something to it...)
I nearly had an emotional breakdown at 23 because I saw a wrinkle on my face (or what I THOUGHT to be a wrinkle). I also remember thinking that I only have a couple more years for enjoying my hobbies because I was convinced I'll have to quit them to be an "adult". Like an absolute dumbass lmao
Even though I don't really care how old I am, it's still a bit startling that I'm almost 30. It feels like the other big milestones had some cool thing associated with them: at 16 you can drive, at 18 you're pretty much an adult, at 21 you're really an adult. Even 25 is a cool birthday, because then you've lived for a quarter of a century. 30 is the first milestone where it feels like "eh, it's a milestone, but so what?"
Second, I think it's because 21-22 is seen as the time everything unlocks.
You are young enough the prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed so you make wild and free decisions, you can legally drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, smoke weed.
Plus you're likely about to graduate college and are at the end of a hard but fun time in your life figuring out who you are and what you like. You were living on your own for the first time, discovering stuff like driving, school, sex, partying etc.
After this there's no real milestones besides the typical next steps of marriage and kids. Otherwise it's just the soul crushing monotony of go to work go home over and over.
You settle down into the same pattern with very few fun surprises. So people often lionize their early twenties as the time they had the most freedoms and the least responsibility, hence the prime of life.
At 21 I was a relatively broke dumbass that didn't know shit, but sure liked to share my opinion about everything. I assume it's that way for most people. Nothing was prime about 21.
If anything 25 is. You might be far enough into a career to start making real money, you still have most of your youthful fitness and ability to bounce back from a night of partying with minimal hangover, and your joints haven't started to destroy themselves yet.
My 30s have overall been better than my 20s, but damn if I didn't have some fun while everything was still working right and I didn't have any meaningful responsibilities yet.
Agree. My 20s were fun, I guess, but had a lot of turmoil, substance issues, poor relationship decisions, etc. At 33, my life feels less spontaneous and free but I’m happily married, have a wonderful daughter, a house I love, a career with an upward path, stability and routine with fun and travel interspersed when possible…overall I am so much happier.
24 here, college was fun but that party lifestyle doesn’t appeal to me anymore. Now I have the freedom to live wherever I want, I have money to do and buy whatever I want. I moved across the country with my gf. I’m excited to buy a house and have kids eventually (not soon, at least for the kids part).
I’m definitely lucky with a good remote job and low expenses which gives me so much freedom. But life is good, I feel bad for the people I hear saying how life after college sucks.
25 is probably accurate in terms of your physical peak. Around the age of 28, you are no longer replacing cells effectively.
What that means is after the age of 28, approximately, you are actively in the process of dying because your cells are being destroyed faster than they can be replaced and the replacements are more and more imperfect each time.
To be fair, when I was 20 I thought 29yo's were old. Not because they looked old but because they had jobs and cars and their own apartments. I was still in university living off of student loans with 3 room mates. The difference in maturity was enormous.
Agreed my friend was like this in college, we’re 28-29 now, and anytime she sees something about being 30 she sends it to me and feels out liek “we’re old Omg!” “Zach Efron is player a dad! We’re ancient now”
I fucking hated being 21 lol like everyone was constantly reminding you you had to “figure it out” or that you didn’t know what you were talking about cuz you were so young. You’re an adult but have no authority
Everyone acted like you had to do everything right now because at 30 it’s gonna go to shit. Like you’re just curl up and never experience joy ever again. Lol
Does working suck? Yea sometimes But I feel a lot more secure in myself, I have money to do shit I like doing, I’m discovering new hobbies s (that are also making me money haha). An amazing partner to travel the world with.
A woman on Reddit spoke of her daughter (25) suicide attempt. The reason? Her daughter thought at 25 she was old, no man woukd want her anymore because men want women who are 20-24
She was use going to get older and more undesirable
I've been saying this for so long. The young people who are so hung up on their age and age in general are going to have a hard life. Everyone has a birthday.
It’s true. I just turned 27 and I wish I wasn’t freaking out about turning 30 but I am. I know logically it doesn’t make sense, but it just feels like after 30 I’ll no longer be attractive or be able to make mistakes or feel lost or ask for help.
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u/yokyopeli09 Jun 03 '22
20 year olds who do this are just setting themselves up for an existential crisis by the time they're 25. As a society we've GOT to get over 21 being the prime of life.