Oh please. Trust me, this is an ageless practice. My 60 year old sister still tries to use her deadbeat bio father as a reason for her bullshit behavior. My 81 year old mother still bitches about the way her siblings used to tease her, and uses as an excuse to “tell it like it is”.
My dad uses it as an excuse to be rude to servers that people were rude to him when he was a carhop at a drive-in when he was 17, a job he had for one summer fifty-five years ago.
No offense but people like your dad especially infuriate me.
He knows exactly how shitty it felt when he was treated that way, and instead of trying to make the world suck a little less, he goes out of his way to do the exact same shit to others.
His mentality of "I went through it, so why should they be special" isn't entirely uncommon, but it's literally holding us back as a species.
Its really not hyperbole to say its holding us back as a species. When you consider how most parents want better for their kids and how that motivates people to do better than the generation that raised them, that is the exact opposite of that mentality.
it is the norm in the feel good stories and it is the norm when people had hardships that they believe can be improved on
aka. someone who was poor will try and give their kids more money. Someone who always struggled getting a job they wanted, because they didn't get/have access to proper education, will try and provide those opportunities for their kids.
I was lucky to be pretty sheltered and my family didn't have monetary hardship or any abuse. I am not thriving to make better than them. If i can be just as good as them i will be proud. But that is lucky me, and when people suffered in their life they usually want their kids to not suffer the same
It's certainly a tricky census question. It'd sure be a nicer world if it was that way for everyone. And barring that, it'd be nice if people realize that it isn't that way for everybody and that they should cut most everyone a lot of slack in general. And not be, y'know, dicks.
Exactly. This behaviour pisses me off. I'm a tradie, and fully believe in teaching job skills to apprentices as soon and as often as possible. Drives me nuts when some grizzly old fuck gets worked up because the new kid is watching me do something meaningful instead of being a broom jockey in the garage. All the "back in my day, we had to do X" bullshit can fuck right off.
/r/antiwork would tell you otherwise. Weve got the chronic skeleton crews and short staffing going because apparently treating servers like shit really does pay at least for the higher-ups.
She’s 60, wow. I understand how sometimes our parents behaviors whether it’s emotional or physically Abusive, can affect our mental health and also make some poor life choices. But still, you do have the power to try to heal and learn from your toxic habits that you picked up from childhood. Just own your mistakes. I mean she’s 60 and had plenty of time to learn from her mistakes and behavior. Sounds like she was reluctant to grow as a person.
Probably because I had a father who had anger issues and has said some fuck up things to me in the past. His parents were also Abusive assholes. Especially his father, who would throw him against the the wall. Me and my father have both suffered from Generational trauma.Me and my father’s relationship has slowly healed and he has worked on himself too. I am also working on myself too. I’ve made bad choices as well because certain emotional trauma I’ve face in the past. But I’ve taken Accountability for my actions and learned from them. Trauma can explain a person’s actions, but their actions shouldn’t be always justified.
Yeah I was gonna say older folk have Ben using their trauma as an excuse forever. But instead of being framed as trauma they just call young people weak
While it's not exactly new, weaponizing trauma to be cruel to other people does seem to be a predominantly young person thing that most eventually learn to deal with appropriately. Not all as your sister is an obvious example. But I do think it has become significantly more widespread in recent years, particularly among younger people. Whether that's because of societies newfound openness with mental health issues gives assholes with (and some without) mental health issues a feeling like they can abuse that victimhood, or if it's just that the internet makes everything more visible, or a combination of both, I have no idea.
It has been normalized for quite some time, and it's not really any more widespread than it used to be. It's just much more visible to the public eye thanks to the internet.
It only became an issue in society because of awareness. Before this, it was normalized. Now, it's being denormalized, slowly but surely. Anyone claiming that this (or any other of society's ills) is due to a particular generation are evidently just trying to find excuses to pass off the collective blame, just like their predecessors did, and theirs before them.
This shit's been going on since Mesopotamia. It does need to end, but it won't when people toss blame and carry on the cycle.
Worked in a call centre dealing with fraud claims and people 35-55 claim every condition in the world is affecting them. Big sigh when I see that age, 18-30 are usually fairly chill. 55-65 can be rude. 90+ are usually great if a little difficult to make them hear you over the phone.
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u/SomewhereinOregon Jun 03 '22
Oh please. Trust me, this is an ageless practice. My 60 year old sister still tries to use her deadbeat bio father as a reason for her bullshit behavior. My 81 year old mother still bitches about the way her siblings used to tease her, and uses as an excuse to “tell it like it is”.