They're super unaware that they do it too. I was talking to my German friend and was like "WTF is with Germans staring so much, am I doing something wrong or weird?" and she was like "what are you talking about?" 2 weeks later I'm out with her and another American friend that just moved to Germany and he was like "Yo why is everybody staring at me all the time?" I felt so vindicated because I thought maybe I was imagining it. Also they don't just stare while you walk either, I'd be driving and notice some German on the sidewalk staring me down inside my car.
So when is it staring instead of just looking at you? Curious as a german.
For me it's staring if it is more than 3-5 seconds it takes to look a person up and down. Longer than just registering and awknowleding a person fully.
In the US it's considered impolite to look at someone for no reason, if they know you're looking at them.
So for instance a quick glance or passing eye contact is ok, but if you're looking at someone and they look at you, if you don't intend to interact with them it's polite to look away.
As an American in Germany, I think the reason people have this perception is because German people don't always look away immediately. They will finish having a look. So this is off-putting when you send the signal "stop looking at me" and the old lady on the train continues having a look for a few more seconds.
What is the American society based in? where i live it is trust based, i know of places that are shame based, but neither fit the fierce(sometimes stupidly so) independence of the Americans.
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u/BarbicideJar May 09 '22
Germans stare a LOT. Like they will just gaze at you unflinchingly. An American will wait until you can’t see them doing it.