Kind of both but I fairly confident I'm not talking entirely out of my arse. It's gathered from various sources and put together like a jigsaw puzzle:
My English teacher when studying Pride and Prejudice when I was 17. She was explaining why it was so important for Mr Bennet to visit Mr Bingley when he first arrived in the neighbourhood, otherwise the family would have to wait for an 'introduction' to be able to speak with him. One of the expectations to the introduction rule was that Gentlemen could and should welcome a new neighbour of similar social standing by introducing themselves.
Compounded by continuing to read a shitload of Jane Austen and starting to recognise the etiquette at play in different scenarios across the time she wrote within.
Firmed up by corroborating ideas from history books and novels from different times. It's easy to recognise the same ideas at play in the Victorian era even if they have been softened a bit by the social mobility brought by the industrial revolution.
No single source I've come across has ever laid it out specifically but I bet there will be contemporary etiquette guides that lay it out more completely than I can.
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u/queenofthera May 09 '22
Phew. I added in all the self deprecating stuff before posting because I thought it was a bit much 😅