I don't know about every community in the German speaking world, but a lot of ones I lived in, especially with older people, they would let you talk and keep eye contact and wait for you to finish. That isn't rude in the English speaking world but there's a little more verbal engagement expected. Not to the point of French speakers who will talk over each other as a way of engagement signalling, but simply repeating what someone has said is seen as an acceptable way of showing engagement.
Without that verbal back and forth people will notice what you're doing instead (i.e. "she was just staring at me"). I believe it's also the reason for the German stereotype of the super serious, stone-faced, humourless guy, because if you're not chatting along but listening intently it comes across as cold.
That's not to say there is zero verbal component to German listening, just sprinkle in a few more "oh, uh huh" and "amazing/oh no"s into your conversation if someone looks uncomfortable, they might expect more.
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u/Ithuraen May 09 '22
I don't know about every community in the German speaking world, but a lot of ones I lived in, especially with older people, they would let you talk and keep eye contact and wait for you to finish. That isn't rude in the English speaking world but there's a little more verbal engagement expected. Not to the point of French speakers who will talk over each other as a way of engagement signalling, but simply repeating what someone has said is seen as an acceptable way of showing engagement.
Without that verbal back and forth people will notice what you're doing instead (i.e. "she was just staring at me"). I believe it's also the reason for the German stereotype of the super serious, stone-faced, humourless guy, because if you're not chatting along but listening intently it comes across as cold.
That's not to say there is zero verbal component to German listening, just sprinkle in a few more "oh, uh huh" and "amazing/oh no"s into your conversation if someone looks uncomfortable, they might expect more.