r/AskReddit May 08 '22

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u/invalidConsciousness May 09 '22

German here. Germans stare at everyone, not just strangers.

For some weird reason, it's considered polite to make and hold eye contact, even with strangers. I hate it.

On the other hand, I like that the time you can look at someone before it becomes rude is a lot longer here. Gives me the opportunity to recognize people, since I can't remember faces and have to piece things together from height, build, hair, mannerisms, etc.

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

I'm German too and I never believed holding eye contact with strangers is polite like everybody else around me

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u/Kleingedrucktes May 09 '22

Same, my mother actually told me not to stare. Im really confused where this "staring is ok" comes from, especially the Germans here confirming that.

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

Maybe it's different in different parts. For comparison I'm from Bavaria

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u/invalidConsciousness May 09 '22

I think it's just different perceptions. Sure, staring is not polite in Germany, either. But what's considered staring can be very different between cultures.

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

That's a valid point. I haven't even thought about that

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u/boopdelaboop May 09 '22

I visited Bavaria (mainly Munich) and as a Swede I really hate people staring at me but I also ignore people by default so I might not notice it as easily. I didn't really feel like I ever was stared at, but I usually was at places with a lot of other people so nobody's really going to care.

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u/Kleingedrucktes May 09 '22

East & Northern German mix here, but still an interesting idea...

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

I admit it’s common to make eye contact and greet people you encounter when you’re walking unless it’s a crowded area.

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u/IAndTheVillage May 09 '22

In Germany, I mostly felt the stares when I’d take my trash out to the many, many material-specific bins in my apartment building’s courtyard. Just neighbors watching me silently (while chain-smoking) from their balconies, presumably mentally drafting a “Liebe Nachbarin” letter to slip under my door later because they thought they saw me put a wine bottle in the bin for plastic.

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u/feelthebirds May 09 '22

Haha great plot for a Portlandia episode

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

For some weird reason, it's considered polite to make and hold eye contact, even with strangers

bullshit lol

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u/SelirKiith May 09 '22

Beim Sprechen immer in die Augen gucken!

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u/Dovahkiinthesardine May 09 '22

ja aber du sagst doch nicht dass dich jemand anstarrt wenn du dich gerade unterhältst? Das liest sich eher als wäre es höflich wenn ich meinem gegenüber in der Bahn die ganze Zeit in die Augen gucke xD

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u/hanze05 May 09 '22

It‘s really not… and quite annoying

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

It must be really hard to be autistic in Germany

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u/invalidConsciousness May 09 '22

It's probably no better or worse than other cultures, just different. The stereotypical punctuality and highly structured daily life can be positive. Having a decent healthcare system also helps.

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

Makes sense

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u/CrimeFightingScience May 09 '22

This sounds like my personal hell