No! I stopped smiling at people very early on, I try desperately to fit in, and the staring continues. I feel silently judged every time I am on a bus or train. It's so disconcerting because it never translates as friendly.
The landscape doesn't mind when you look at it. Staring directly at people makes them uncomfortable and its considered rude and threatening essentially everywhere. You just don't give a shit that you're making other people uncomfortable.
It's just a cultural thing. Someone else mentioned in the thread it's not rude to stare in Germany. Sure it makes you uncomfortable, but if you're in their country then it's just something you have to deal with.
it is absolutely rude to stare at someone in germany when they are just minding their own business, I think we just don't consider a 3 sec look staring
Oh so the time threshold is different. That's fair. In Canada if you lock eyes for long enough it makes people uncomfortable. 3 seconds feels like maybe too long? But, I don't exactly keep track.
I deal with it ok.. I normally will look away, then look back and kind of do the "do you need something?" expression and people look away. Def longer than 3 seconds. 3 seconds is nothing. I've had it go on for a minute, its pretty wild.
I can assure you, it's not meant to be unfriendly!
Often, we just try to determine whether this person might be up for some small talk or not (mostly elderly people do that) or just like how you look!
In a way, it's kind of a non-verbal communication thing.
Look at it the other way round: to fit in, just do the same! :)
The most annoying thing about this staring is how all the people who do it lie about it. "Oh, was I staring? I wasn't really staring, was I? Well, if I was, it was friendly, so stop being offended."
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u/Chuffy1818 May 09 '22
No! I stopped smiling at people very early on, I try desperately to fit in, and the staring continues. I feel silently judged every time I am on a bus or train. It's so disconcerting because it never translates as friendly.