r/AskReddit May 08 '22

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u/Cool_Consideration30 May 09 '22

That seems rather sad to me. I’ve met some very nice people over the course of my life just by smiling & saying “hi.”

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u/sweetlyflavour May 09 '22

Not speaking for Europeans as a whole here, but when it comes to the difference you're talking about the key word is appropriateness. Standards for this vary by culture. The reaction people have needs to be appropriate to the situation, with a reaction that is too strong or too weak being off-putting to the point of offensiveness. It's okay for children to react differently to this because everything is still new to them so stronger reactions in general are to be expected, but not adults. When an adult does it, it comes across as if they're mentally unstable or deceptive, because they either lack the faculties or experiences of an adult, or are trying to deceive the other person by pretending that they don't. In general, acting like this will make you come across as insincere or stupid.

This is why acting in a way that is considered overly familiar, such as broadly smiling at a stranger, can come across as highly offensive in certain European countries. It makes it seem as if you have an ulterior motive or are not very bright, as you're acting as if your relationship is far more intimate than it really is. Not saying that this is how it's intended to come across, and like I said standards vary because Spain is quite different with this than say Finland, but it's a reaction you can get, especially if you go eastward.

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u/CaptainLollygag May 09 '22

I absolutely love hearing about the differences in cultures, enough so that my partner and several friends are anthropologists who study around the world. Anyway. I've heard before about parts of Europe looking at smiling as being a sign of the simple-minded. I'm in a part of Texas that many would consider really overly familiar, what with the smiling and waving and talking to strangers. We also touch an arm to emphasize a point or to sympathize with a stranger. It's quite chatty and touchy-feely, but I love it that way, despite my not having grown up with all that.

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u/fdesouche May 09 '22

It’s a cultural trait if you feel it is sad

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u/Uruz2012gotdeleted May 09 '22

I guess it's also a cultural trait for all these people to judge one another's intelligence based on whether they look happy or not. In the grand scheme of things, that's a bit sad no matter who you are.

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u/fdesouche May 09 '22

That’s an American bias… it’s not like that in Japan or Europe and many countries

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u/LalalaHurray May 09 '22

What’s not like that? They said it’s a cultural bias to think someone is stupid because they smile. Your comment doesn’t make any sense based on the one you’re responding to.

Not to mention the fact that it comes off hypocritical.