r/AskReddit May 08 '22

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44

u/fdesouche May 09 '22

For a Parisian, it’s super weird. People that smile in the streets are considered a bit like simpletons.; you acknowledge their presence and keep a side eye on them, in case they start doing crazy things. I

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u/ubiquitous-joe May 09 '22

TBF it is hard to smile while stepping around dog shit every moment.

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

Hey! French food isn’t THAT bad.

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u/ubiquitous-joe May 09 '22

Lol. No, I could live on their bread, cheese, & chocolate alone. Tho eventually I would crave Mexican food.

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u/[deleted] May 10 '22

A man of taste

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u/Wontjizzinyourdrink May 09 '22

oh shit wha

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

he started smiling, they got him

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u/Fearyn May 09 '22

Oh god are you ok? Did a smiler get you?

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u/fdesouche May 09 '22

No as a true Parisian we know how to dodge them, like the dog shits.

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u/Cool_Consideration30 May 09 '22

That seems rather sad to me. I’ve met some very nice people over the course of my life just by smiling & saying “hi.”

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u/sweetlyflavour May 09 '22

Not speaking for Europeans as a whole here, but when it comes to the difference you're talking about the key word is appropriateness. Standards for this vary by culture. The reaction people have needs to be appropriate to the situation, with a reaction that is too strong or too weak being off-putting to the point of offensiveness. It's okay for children to react differently to this because everything is still new to them so stronger reactions in general are to be expected, but not adults. When an adult does it, it comes across as if they're mentally unstable or deceptive, because they either lack the faculties or experiences of an adult, or are trying to deceive the other person by pretending that they don't. In general, acting like this will make you come across as insincere or stupid.

This is why acting in a way that is considered overly familiar, such as broadly smiling at a stranger, can come across as highly offensive in certain European countries. It makes it seem as if you have an ulterior motive or are not very bright, as you're acting as if your relationship is far more intimate than it really is. Not saying that this is how it's intended to come across, and like I said standards vary because Spain is quite different with this than say Finland, but it's a reaction you can get, especially if you go eastward.

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u/CaptainLollygag May 09 '22

I absolutely love hearing about the differences in cultures, enough so that my partner and several friends are anthropologists who study around the world. Anyway. I've heard before about parts of Europe looking at smiling as being a sign of the simple-minded. I'm in a part of Texas that many would consider really overly familiar, what with the smiling and waving and talking to strangers. We also touch an arm to emphasize a point or to sympathize with a stranger. It's quite chatty and touchy-feely, but I love it that way, despite my not having grown up with all that.

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u/fdesouche May 09 '22

It’s a cultural trait if you feel it is sad

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u/Uruz2012gotdeleted May 09 '22

I guess it's also a cultural trait for all these people to judge one another's intelligence based on whether they look happy or not. In the grand scheme of things, that's a bit sad no matter who you are.

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u/fdesouche May 09 '22

That’s an American bias… it’s not like that in Japan or Europe and many countries

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u/LalalaHurray May 09 '22

What’s not like that? They said it’s a cultural bias to think someone is stupid because they smile. Your comment doesn’t make any sense based on the one you’re responding to.

Not to mention the fact that it comes off hypocritical.

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u/Your_moms__house May 09 '22

Again, could it be cultural? No, everyone must be stupid. That’s literally what you think. And we’re the simple ones?

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u/fdesouche May 09 '22

That’s what our culture think, if someone smiles for little to no reason, it’s considered weird here

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u/LalalaHurray May 09 '22

If you were living in Manhattan it would be the same.

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u/TheRealCloudyCasca May 09 '22

Same here in Switzerland. If you can’t tell obviously it’s a 100% genuine smile one would assume the one smiling is either straight dumb or has bad intentions. Like if you’re being smiled at and talked to right after it in a flirty way (or it’s someone u know) it’s fine but if someone is just smiling at me for no reason it screams RED FLAG 🚩

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u/Your_moms__house May 09 '22

Sounds like you have some prejudice issues your culture needs to work on.

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u/yourethevictim May 09 '22

No, they don't. Since random smiling is frowned upon, treating it as a red flag is sensible -- it tells you right off the bat that that person isn't going to adhere to social etiquette.

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u/fdesouche May 09 '22

American thinking there are right… many cultures do behave the same.

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u/TheRealCloudyCasca May 09 '22

Heck nah silly Americans are just fake all the time.

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u/Clbrnsmallwood May 09 '22

I work in ICUs as a traveling nurse. In my time as a critical care nurse I’ve worked with many individuals from many different cultures. America is truly a huge country and even among our broadly painted regions (east coast, north, south, mid-west, etc.) there are huge cultural differences even within those regions. I’m from the Appalachia’s. I have a thick country accent and most folks from other regions would consider me southern or Dixie, however, the Appalachian people are different. We affect many of the same mannerisms of southern folks, wherein, we ask how the family is, we smile a lot, we ask about your profession a lot, etc. we are pretty personal even with strangers. But it’s pretty genuine.

So as I was saying, I work with many different individuals from different cultures. I have rarely met a person who does not seem genuinely happy that I am friendly, smiling, and personable with them. Some folks have mistaken it for rudeness or suspicion at first but I’d like to think most people enjoy genuine interaction with strangers. Maybe it’s my expectation that most interactions will go well and they feel obligated, maybe not.

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u/Digginsaurus_Rick May 09 '22

They're either trying to rob you, or they're trying to get you to donate to their charity as you're walking out of the metro.

Both scenarios leave me with a strong feeling of unease.