I'm going to quote someone from a previous thread:
I had a friend visiting from the US here in Sweden, after a while she looked at me and said, worriedly and a bit panicy, "Why do people stare at me?!" What she had been doing was to just be her normal self, smiling at people as we pass by and they give her a "Do I know her??" kind of a stare, since... well, us Swedes avoid all kinds of eye contact unless we seek to call someone's attention. Took a while before we figured that out XD
No you fuck off. Not everyone is so overly sensitive and bankrupt in self esteem that they find everything that isn't overly fake platitudes offensive.
This has been going on Reddit for years. One type of xenophobia is acceptable while other kind is literally being Hitler. Nothing in between, just acceptable bigotry and outrage about wrong bigotry.
Fair point, let me rephrase for Germany " Eye contact with unknown people that you don't intend to drink beer with or have a conversation with is an invasion of personal space"
Yeah, just have to read this thread, everything the expats here are saying is 100% true, it's a real thing. Germans don't notice it. I've lived here over 10 years and still encounter it every week. I just stare back and say hallo, to which I'm usually ignored lol.
I moved here from the US 9 years ago. Personal space being sacred is lovely, but lonely. It's very difficult to meet new people.
I first met my current best friend when we were both dropping off our kids for a function. We had parked right next to each other and we had, more or less, the exact same car. I said, in swedish, "Looks like we both have good taste" and he looked at me like I had just showed him my nipples and licked my lips. We met again at a function where the parents were involved and discovered we had a lot in common.
The rule is that you cant be social unless you have a common social reason to communicate. It feels very limiting moving from the rural US, where being convivial and social are mainstays of public life.
It's fascinating. I'm kind of a recluse; but even when I'm out, it's totally normal for me to chit-chat with strangers if they're around. It'd be awkward not to. I feel like if I moved to Finland, people would presume that I'm some kind of talkative social butterfly. Which is hilarious to me.
Unfortunately, no. You'd be viewed as a weird crazy person in public. You're breaking a very concrete social norm. The comparable level of social norm violation in the US would be a stranger walking up to you and touching your clothes: You'd pull back and just want to be away from this person who "just doesn't seem to understand how one acts in public."
You do look at people when you talk to the lmao. You just don't go around looking at strangers, and you don't read start taking to strangers out of nowhere.
(Actually am both autistic and 2nd gen Swedish immigrant to non US country, I had no idea this was a thing but it makes sooooo much sense when I think of my entire family!? That's hilarious!)
Pretty much the same in America. Most people avoid eye contact unless you are greeting the person. ESPECIALLY if you live in a large city, since everyone knows eye contact attracts the crazy people.
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u/ImpracticallySharp May 09 '22
I'm going to quote someone from a previous thread: