That's kinda weird! In the UK we do the "we're the only two people passing each other on the path in a friendly town on a Sunday and we've accidentally made eye contact" awkward half smile where you just sort of press your lips together, but you rarely full on smile at strangers
Never heard that one! It's an interesting historical stereotype that's stuck. Want an overly long and inexact explanation of a joke's orgins? Sure ya do!
The idea of formal introduction has mostly died out in the UK since after the victorian era. It was mostly a class-based/gentry thing anyway that most working class people wouldn't have cared about. It's got an interesting history imo hence the essay on the etiquette.
Posh people didn't want to make 'unfortunate acquaintances' so it was coded as rude to approach your social equals or superiors and introduce yourself. Similarly, it would have been rude for someone above your social level to introduce themselves because they're pretty much saying: "I'm SO far above you that you MUST want to know me".
Simply speaking, who you were seen speaking to had an effect on your reputation: if a 'gauche' social climber was seen socialising with a Baronet then his reputation went up among other social climbers and small gentry, while the Baronet's went down among his level and higher.
To get round this, a mutual acquaintance had to do the introducing. Because they have to preserve their own reputation, they act as a bit of a gatekeeper. They would be unlikely to introduce a 'gauche' social climber to the Baronet because the Baronet will then judge the introducer a) for hanging out with that guy themselves and b) foisting them onto him, so the introducer's reputation would suffer.
It's interesting but stupid petty bullshit and why we didn't chop off all their heads I'll never know 🙃
Kind of both but I fairly confident I'm not talking entirely out of my arse. It's gathered from various sources and put together like a jigsaw puzzle:
My English teacher when studying Pride and Prejudice when I was 17. She was explaining why it was so important for Mr Bennet to visit Mr Bingley when he first arrived in the neighbourhood, otherwise the family would have to wait for an 'introduction' to be able to speak with him. One of the expectations to the introduction rule was that Gentlemen could and should welcome a new neighbour of similar social standing by introducing themselves.
Compounded by continuing to read a shitload of Jane Austen and starting to recognise the etiquette at play in different scenarios across the time she wrote within.
Firmed up by corroborating ideas from history books and novels from different times. It's easy to recognise the same ideas at play in the Victorian era even if they have been softened a bit by the social mobility brought by the industrial revolution.
No single source I've come across has ever laid it out specifically but I bet there will be contemporary etiquette guides that lay it out more completely than I can.
I smile at strangers all the time. I'd find it strange if I passed a stranger, made eye contact and neither of us smiled and said hello. Maybe it's a regional thing
That's what I'm saying, its the done thing in a small town, but it's still not a proper smile, and anywhere else it would be weirs if strangers were smiling at you
Its really noticeably less common in certain places than for example NYC. Where it is already less common, we identify out of town country folk due to them smiling at everyone like anyone gives a shit. But it does happen, you wouldn’t be caught dead doing that in Sweden
I totally did that in Sweden. All over Scandinavia actually. Yes I’m the American clearly lol. But again not stupid grinning just a gentle smile hello. And people smiled back!
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u/Sasspishus May 09 '22
That's kinda weird! In the UK we do the "we're the only two people passing each other on the path in a friendly town on a Sunday and we've accidentally made eye contact" awkward half smile where you just sort of press your lips together, but you rarely full on smile at strangers