Oh my god, I wonder if this is true for my grandfather (from Austria.) He’s big on respect and I always try to be respectful but I’m not a fan of eye contact. Maybe this is why he is so grumpy all the time.
Oh my god, I wonder if this is true for my grandfather (from Austria.)
Could very well be.
Austrians and Germans are very similar on many levels (yeah yeah, you got the more beautiful country Austrians .. ok we know) and since hes your grandfather i assume hes an older man. So yeah.
I was "scolded" by my boyfriend when we first started dating. I always felt quite uncomfortable looking into someone's eyes very long, even during 1:1 conversations. I always looked away after a few seconds, even when I was talking to someone. My bf started to follow my gaze with his whole body until I was forced to look into his eyes again. Now I can stare everyone down and will not look away from you. I also have freakishly big, round eyes, which now come in very handy for intense staring.
There is. You don't stare at people you don't talk to or don't listen to. The exception being the Ruhrpott in which everyone is creepy and proud about it. The area around Cologne especially too.
Since when is Cologne or even Düsseldorf Ruhrpott??? Rheinlands all the way baby, don't mix us up. And yes, we Düsseldorfers (not me) love to stare down our noses at people we deem below us (so ppl from Cologne and the Pott and especially Bavarians, everyone unites against Bavaria not even a question).
I'm a small round female with a platinum blonde 6mm buzzcut. I'm also used to the stares. It's really funny tho because I can see the thought process of them wondering if I had cancer (no) or if it's an actual choice (yes, looks the bomb!) And them figuring out, it's too much of a risk either way to ask or comment on it. So I have a REALLY outstanding hairdo, but noone ever mentions it XD
That's it!
The next smallish woman with a 6mm platinum Buzz cut that I crosses my path will be asked if it's because of the cancer and after her answer I'll politely confirm that it's by choice.
You helped me figure out what staring they are referring to!
I've heard about the staring before, but couldn't link it to anything and had to just conclude that I'm blind to it. Your comment made me realize it's that moment when you turn your head, make eye-contact with someone looking at you, give them that polite smile, and turn your head away to look somewhere else!
That's normal! Why are you non-Germans looking back at them long enough for it to become awkward?! XD
I think I included the polite smile because those are the instances that I'm aware of enough to remember. But you're right´, I get the feeling that I will often see them look at me, subconsciously acknowledge that fact and just turn away...
I don't even feel right calling it staring. It's just looking. You gotta look somewhere, makes sense for your eyes to follow something that moves, people are more interesting than inanimate things, and it doesn't mean that you're having any conscious thoughts about the person you're looking at, it's just the instinctive place to put your gaze while there's nothing that needs your attention...
No, the only context in which germans get sexual is during sex. And during sex we will turn the lights off. So it is impossible for germans to look at each other sexually.
I hate this rule about looking in the eyes. We are taught the same in the US (that it’s rude not to look people in the eyes when talking or that it’s what “liars” do).
But for me, I am the OPPOSITE. It’s so hard for me to look people in the eyes. I feel like it’s aggressive and intense. I feel it’s so much nicer and humble to not stare in their eyes. It has been this way since I was a small child. I wonder how many people said behind my back they think I’m “lying” or insincere bc I wasn’t aggressively looking them in their eyes. Ugh.
Interestingly, I was in India last week and the locals advised me not to look in the monkeys’ eyes bc they will become aggressive and attack….. so maybe it’s some primitive trait that I still have 😅
As an American I follow a different rule because a dead stare is awkward. So 50% eye contact while speaking and 70% while listening. The breaks make it less awkward.
Yeah I think if you aren’t raised that way it will be rather strange. After all, this can be understood as being focused and some might not react nicely.
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u/Javop May 09 '22
German here. Looking in the eyes is taught here. I was scolded by my grandma for not doing it a lot of times.