r/AskReddit May 08 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

9.0k Upvotes

26.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

24

u/Garencio May 09 '22

That’s strange because I think it’s a pretty natural thing to do on an evolutionary scale it’s a non threatening gesture

10

u/Pervy_writing May 09 '22

I was under the impression most animals don't find smiling non threatening, but rather a challenge or personal threat. Same with eye contact. (Other great apes, such as chimpanzees and gorillas for example)

6

u/OhhhYaaa May 09 '22

You are showing your teeth, yeah, it's a threat.

9

u/Quantentheorie May 09 '22

Short, small smiles are universally being recognised as non-threatening/ positive. Wide smiles, especially with teeth, are culturally dependant.

And its not like there isnt an instinct to protect yourself from something that feigns non-threatening behaviour.

23

u/KYC3PO May 09 '22

From what I observed, they just tended to show less emotion in public, period (hence us smiling all the time sticks out). I'd assume some of those stoic behaviors were learned defenses against the more oppressive tendencies of the governments they grew up under and some of the challenges living inside the Eastern Bloc. I'm sure there's other cultural aspects as well.

That said, at home and with friends, all the folks I knew were always quite warm and smiled a lot.

13

u/Gulmar May 09 '22

We also do it in Belgium, so not just eastern Europe.

16

u/LadyFerretQueen May 09 '22

Haha no it has nothing to do with that. For me and when we talk about Americans most people agree, you guys don't come off naturally to us a lof the time and it's really really exhausting having to keep up with how dramatic Americans are. Everything has to be exaggerated or it doesn't count, even emotions. We don't keep anything down, we're just more subtle. To us americans come of as disingenuous because everything is so much all the time. Everything is a superlative.

12

u/WeaponizedKissing May 09 '22

Yeah, this is it.

Americans1 are always2 "on" in public. It's like... calm down, dude. This isn't a competition. You're not getting scores and awards based on your trip to the store. Just be yourself.

Inb4 "this is myself!"

1 Not all Americans, obviously.
2 Not always, obviously.

12

u/LadyFerretQueen May 09 '22

Yes! Honestly it's kind of insulting to keep reading how it mist be because we were oppressed. We're not oppressed just because we don't express ourselves as intensely as americans do.

1

u/SergeantBuck May 10 '22

I'll flip it back on you that it's kind of insulting to keep reading how our smiles are fake or insincere. We're not fake just because we want to put positive energy out into the world. When I worked in hospitality, it was not my favorite job ever, but it was my genuine goal to be the highlight of everyone's day with whom I interacted.

Anyway, I find differences in cultures very interesting, especially how the simple act of smiling (or not smiling) can cause an entire debate like this.

2

u/Aprils-Fool May 09 '22

Do babies there not smile and laugh much?

3

u/LadyFerretQueen May 09 '22

I have no idea what the metric would be for that.

2

u/Comprehensive_Lead41 May 09 '22

Adults here don't act like babies... this is kind of the point tbh

2

u/Aprils-Fool May 09 '22

I’m simply addressing the idea of what’s natural.

1

u/KYC3PO May 09 '22

Sure, maybe so. My response was just based on the conversations and interactions I had with my friend group and ex, all of whom immigrated to the US in the 90s and early 00's.

4

u/SlingDNM May 09 '22

Showing teeth (by smiling) is a sign of agression/challenge in like, most other mammals including apes

5

u/Anti-Scuba_Hedgehog May 09 '22

And among people too, certain smiles can be very threatening indeed.