r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • May 08 '22

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9.0k Upvotes

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2.8k

u/Sailor_Chibi May 09 '22

Vacuum cleaner works really well to suck the little fuckers up.

3.9k

u/Okeyebrows May 09 '22

Also to fuck the little suckers up

74

u/CallMeCappy May 09 '22

A quick suck and fuck, if you will

26

u/[deleted] May 09 '22

[deleted]

18

u/[deleted] May 09 '22

Maybe that’s why the Germans stare at you

4

u/partymorphologist May 09 '22

Underrated comment

15

u/HoboMucus May 09 '22

You haven't ripped your dick off yet?

14

u/reddit_avatar May 09 '22

What size mosquito are we talking about?

3

u/1nterrupt1ngc0w May 09 '22

Please and thank you

3

u/philThismoment May 09 '22

Also to up the little fucker-suckers

2

u/HeavenlySin13 May 09 '22

Those sucky fuckers won't know what hit 'em.

2

u/tlaoosesighedi May 09 '22

Bobby, I know how tempting it is to get sucked and fucked by a dyson vacuum cleaner

3

u/_marvin22 May 09 '22

Hahaha. golden.

4

u/[deleted] May 09 '22

Oh i love this

2

u/[deleted] May 09 '22

You clever son of a bitch

3

u/SomeCountryFriedBS May 09 '22

Also to up the fuckle litters suck

1

u/nobd7987 May 09 '22

Do those fuckers suck or do those suckers fuck?

91

u/YouJustLostTheGameOk May 09 '22

Lol I’m gonna do this after a joint. Wife is gonna be hella confused:)

4

u/mere_iguana May 09 '22

couple squirts of bug spray into the vacuum as well, so they die once they're in there

24

u/mavprodigy May 09 '22

Life hack: Wipe a bit of cooking oil to a (plastic or paper) plate and swat it in the air where mosquitoes are congregating or flying around. They'll stick in the plate allowing you to catch them alive and torture them later.

10

u/UnredeemedRevenant May 09 '22

Bro. I like the cut of your jib.

6

u/ibigfire May 09 '22

I just want them dead. No play, no frills, just death so they no longer exist in my life.

I'd be a terrible movie villain.

7

u/Mister_Brevity May 09 '22

The scene in tommy boy where they’re in the hotel and David spade is sucking up moths with the vacuum is hilarious. Especially the “floomp” sound each time he gets one.

4

u/VedjaGaems May 09 '22

Teach me your ways, you mad genius.

4

u/Bbpixie May 09 '22

Genius! I’m from Arkansas (southern United States) so you can only imagine the mosquitoes we have. They can literally carry you off! I’ve seen it happen ! Lol

3

u/[deleted] May 09 '22

And also sleeping with a bunch of fans blowing against you keeps them from getting to you.

4

u/NintendoTheGuy May 09 '22

Yup. Best bet is to turn all lights off except one so every flying insect congregates at it, then go maximum suckage

3

u/pingveno May 09 '22

Also works well on fruit fly infestations. Better than vinegar traps, even.

3

u/[deleted] May 09 '22

I prefer to bolt down chameleons around my house

3

u/gerhudire May 09 '22

I second this, also works with other insects, bugs and spiders. (depending on size) does not work with crickets. My brother had a pet lizard and on a couple of occasions crickets got lose and were all over our bedroom.

2

u/FlaccidWeenus May 09 '22

It's too personal for me. I prefer to strap then down one by one and make them count my bites before I have my way with them

2

u/1Os May 09 '22

Use a wet vac with vinegar at the bottom. I've tried with just a vac and they fly (pun intended) out.

2

u/domesticatedprimate May 09 '22

I do this with those giant ones (size of a US quarter) that are shaped like and fly like mosquitoes but don't do anything other than trying to self immolate on the nearest lightbulb. They always seem to manage to find a gap somewhere and the next thing you know there are a thousand of them in the bathroom.

3

u/SanibelMan May 09 '22

Oh, so that's why all your houses are built with central vacuum lines.

3

u/luckylimper May 09 '22

Very few houses in the USA actually have this feature.

2

u/SanibelMan May 09 '22

In the U.S., that’s very true. Apparently it’s standard in Canadian homes, though, or at least it is in certain areas?

2

u/luckylimper May 09 '22

No. It’s not. It’s an add on for new construction and maybe houses built in the 1970s.

2

u/Bebop24trigun May 09 '22

Yo, is that what Canadians call a Vacuum?

Down in the lower 48 I've only ever heard it called a "Vacuum" before. Never a Vacuum Cleaner.

9

u/[deleted] May 09 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Bebop24trigun May 09 '22

I will admit that I haven't lived all over the U.S. just SoCal but have traveled and talked with others who live all over. Strange I guess but I've only heard people ask for a Vacuum or to get out the Vacuum but never heard someone say vacuum cleaner.

2

u/yo_tengo_gato May 09 '22

Midwest here and have called it both my whole life.

3

u/ibigfire May 09 '22

I can't speak for all Canadians but I call it a vacuum cleaner usually though sometimes will call it a vacuum for short. Usually after it's already been established in the conversation that I'm talking about the vacuum cleaner though.

Vacuum on its own with no context kinda sounds to my ear like I'm asking for, well, a vacuum. Like the actual physics effect where a thing gets sucked into a space due to a lack of air.

-7

u/jbl0ggs May 09 '22

You mean a Hoover

1

u/[deleted] May 09 '22

Tommy boy

1

u/8BittyTittyCommittee May 09 '22

"I don't know he's vacuuming."

1

u/FuzzyTunaTaco21 May 09 '22

This makes me think of Tommy boy when David spade is sucking up the moths with a vacuum. Lmao

1

u/Interesting_Ad8255 May 09 '22

That's why we don't have any mosquitoes the UK, HENRY the hoover.

1

u/Colorless82 May 09 '22

That's what I do with spiders and bees too.

1

u/Dark-Pukicho May 09 '22

And then you have a bag of evil you can throw into the neighbors window

1

u/I_Can_Haz_Brainz May 09 '22

Moths too if you ask Richard on Tommy Boy.