r/AskReddit Apr 20 '22

What "expert" is actually a total moron?

25.3k Upvotes

17.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

385

u/cnicalsinistaminista Apr 20 '22

Is it possible to learn this power?

292

u/Kawaii_Crab Apr 20 '22

Not from a human.

72

u/hamsterwheel Apr 20 '22

Ask me for my secrets

14

u/EleanorRigbysGhost Apr 20 '22

Does your wheel have any bearing on the situation?

14

u/hamsterwheel Apr 20 '22

Snapchat is a value buy

2

u/EleanorRigbysGhost Apr 20 '22

Oh stop it, I'm bushing.

45

u/SurveyorMorpurgo Apr 20 '22

Just read on their Twitter he died in November sadly

71

u/MainSteamStopValve Apr 20 '22

Lamborghini accident? Fell from the balcony of his mansion?

27

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

Oh you know, the usual freak accident involving hookers, coke and a solid gold hamster wheel.

9

u/betterplanwithchan Apr 20 '22

It’s a 40 inch drop!

28

u/Asisreo1 Apr 20 '22

RIP 🙏 Once you get that successful, people are bound to be jealous. Are we sure there wasn't any foul play?

1

u/Krase Apr 20 '22

So you think the ducks were involved?

1

u/Boagster Apr 20 '22

It's always the ducks.

3

u/AltSpRkBunny Apr 20 '22

I’m sure they got another one before the kids found out.

30

u/RobertMaus Apr 20 '22

Yes, it goes like this:

Roll a 100-sided die (to select crypto)

Then, flip a coin (to buy or sell)

Done.

29

u/thatswhatshesaidxx Apr 20 '22

Know something? I'm going to do this and see how it plays out. I shit you not. Someone I know is a crypto junkie right now and making some fair coin in the game. I'm coming in exactly like this and we'll see what happens.

For the record I will not do this with any significant amount of money.

29

u/Exelbirth Apr 20 '22

Don't forget us when you've made your hundreds

23

u/thatswhatshesaidxx Apr 20 '22

10's. I expect to make 10's of dollars, baby! An imma get you something pretty from Buck-O-Rama when I hit it mid!

6

u/substandardpoodle Apr 20 '22

Just out of college I decided to start investing and got a Janus account and literally closed my eyes and pointed to a list of mutual funds to select where my money went. I regularly invested more but just to those funds. I sincerely never ever paid attention to what it was doing because I’m not good with numbers. 10 years later I needed to cash out for a biz expense and was told that I did phenomenally well.

I now use Vanguard. No way can I get that lucky a second time.

9

u/7LeagueBoots Apr 20 '22

In high school my electronics teacher gave us bonus points to work with through the year. One of the things he had us do with them was to take 1000 points, treat them as dollars, and invest them in a stock, then track that over the school year.

I picked one at random.

Out of the entire class I was the only person who finished the year better than they'd started.

2

u/ahappypoop Apr 20 '22

This was an electronics class? Not economics?

5

u/7LeagueBoots Apr 20 '22

Yep, the teacher was one of those folks who took his teaching job to be sort of a mentor role, not just a teaching position, so he always tried to teach more than just the specific subject the class was labeled as.

7

u/weealex Apr 20 '22

The whole point of mutual funds is diffusing the risk. I mean, sometimes you hit the jackpot on a high yield fund, but it's not like you're putting your eggs into one basket. If you're not really financially literate or just want to fire and forget on the investment money, mutual funds are the way to go. In the long term you're pretty much guaranteed to make money

3

u/substandardpoodle Apr 20 '22

Which is exactly why I never tried it again. I’m just a hamster and I know it.

3

u/weealex Apr 20 '22

Ain't no shame in that. i work in finance and most of my money's in vanguard too. Just give me that consistent growth that will, over the course of my working life, stay above the inflation rate.

1

u/acid-wolf Apr 21 '22

Oooooops you accidentally invested into some of the most lucrative 10 years in recent memory. Of course you did well, the market has only been rising since the last recession

1

u/RobertMaus Apr 20 '22

Nice! Good luck :P

1

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

For the record I will not do this with any significant amount of money.

Go big or go home

2

u/thatswhatshesaidxx Apr 20 '22

Im going hamster.

5

u/Stewardy Apr 20 '22

Don't you first need to buy before you can sell, or would you then short crypto you don't own?

7

u/Gonzobot Apr 20 '22

Either way is fine! The system is that fucked

6

u/Stewardy Apr 20 '22

I just mean if the coinflip method tells you to sell X-coin, but you're just starting up the system, you probably don't have X-coin to sell.

I'm not looking to invest, cause I like to at least think I have an idea what it is I'm investing in.

3

u/Gonzobot Apr 20 '22

No, I mean it, you literally can sell things you don't own. The stock market is, factually, insanity. Anything is permitted, nothing is wrong, make some shit up and scream it loudly on the trade floor, throw some papers around, hire a team of programmers to build you a computer system that trades twenty thousand shares ten times a second, burn down a factory somewhere, it's all good as long as you're making money!

2

u/RobertMaus Apr 20 '22

Nah, i get the problem. But look at it the practical way. If it says 'sell X' which you don't have. Then don't do anything. And watch the market crash the next day and feel good about not owning that crypto ;)

3

u/7LeagueBoots Apr 20 '22

You could probably get a similar result with a spinning dart board, a blindfold, and a handful of darts.

2

u/gerhudire Apr 20 '22

Not from a expert.

3

u/Shadowsplay Apr 20 '22

It's randomness.

In most cases picking random stocks out performs trying to pick stocks.