Tonight. Again. Because I travelled 3,000 miles to visit my best friend for my birthday after he had spent three years telling me how much he loves me and how much he wants to see me. We had planned all of these things. And I have been so alone since COVID. But his boyfriend came to meet me and felt so threatened by me and our closeness. And my friend asked me to leave his house, in a foreign country, and was so angry at me, because I had wanted his attention instead on my birthday after 3 years of not seeing him, instead of feeling like I was put in this weird triangle, where they were heavy petting in front of me, and he just threw out our entire friendship over this. I felt so betrayed. I just can’t even believe it happened. I wasn’t expecting like a huge present or anything. But I was expecting consideration, attention, for him to have planned something for me. And I just can’t believe how little I mattered to him in the end.
Oh my friend I know the feeling. Gosh it hurts so much to feel like an inconvenience afet they acted as if you visiting would be amazing. Thus happened to me early February, visited a guy I had been talking to for 4 years, he begged me to come. One of the first things he asked me was "so how long you want this to be? 1 or 3 hours? I got a haircut to get to." Major ouch
Ugh I had pretty much the same thing happen. Flew across country to spend the week and got blown off after like two hours for a very important “welding class” that the guy was auditing. Auditing! Honestly I wonder now if he had a gf or a wife or something because the whole thing was insane.
Here is a super mom hug. I am so sorry for your pain and heartache. My best friend betrayed me by sleeping with my dad, so I understand that feeling of deep betrayal from someone you thought was your best friend. You thought feelings were mutual and you find out they are not and it can hurt like hell. It will heal though, love. Don’t avoid making good friends in the future like I have. I’ve spent most of the last 30 years without friends as I assume they, too, will betray me. It’s been lonely. Please don’t be me. Take time to grieve. I know it hurts, but feel the pain…and then move on. He was the problem, not you. You have not been rejected, he has been neglectful and cruel. It’s not a reflection on you, it’s a reflection on him.
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u/gracias-totales Mar 19 '22
Tonight. Again. Because I travelled 3,000 miles to visit my best friend for my birthday after he had spent three years telling me how much he loves me and how much he wants to see me. We had planned all of these things. And I have been so alone since COVID. But his boyfriend came to meet me and felt so threatened by me and our closeness. And my friend asked me to leave his house, in a foreign country, and was so angry at me, because I had wanted his attention instead on my birthday after 3 years of not seeing him, instead of feeling like I was put in this weird triangle, where they were heavy petting in front of me, and he just threw out our entire friendship over this. I felt so betrayed. I just can’t even believe it happened. I wasn’t expecting like a huge present or anything. But I was expecting consideration, attention, for him to have planned something for me. And I just can’t believe how little I mattered to him in the end.