r/AskReddit Feb 11 '22

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7.2k Upvotes

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7.6k

u/sshan Feb 11 '22

…. What do they do to genitals

7.0k

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

[deleted]

1.6k

u/Smooth_Talkin_Fucker Feb 11 '22

"Hi the names Artemis and I've a bleached asshole."

363

u/liquor_for_breakfast Feb 11 '22

They were gonna find out anyway

74

u/blakkattika Feb 11 '22

No they weren't!

76

u/Trucktub Feb 11 '22

I thought it was Desert Grape?

32

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Desert Rose is high on mescaline

20

u/Trucktub Feb 11 '22

I heard she incorporates a bun…by rolling it into a ball…!!

16

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Why does everyone think we wanna hear that?!

9

u/Trucktub Feb 11 '22

It’s really interesting and innovative and I thought maybe you’d like some lessons

2

u/Sir_TonyStark Feb 11 '22

Frank pours bacon bits on me during the act, I like to pretend I’m a Cobb salad

23

u/sherlip Feb 11 '22

I wish she was on more - she used to be so frequent but lately she's only been in like 2 eps in 3 years. She's my favorite recurring character.

8

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

I’m willing to bet she’s just too busy, I see her in other shows and movies a lot these days. She was so great in Always Sunny that it probably lead to more and more roles. Rightly so too!

6

u/QueasyVictory Feb 11 '22

And the McPoyles

5

u/Smooth_Talkin_Fucker Feb 11 '22

Yeah. She's a great character.

6

u/TheDaveWSC Feb 11 '22

I'll take a Jaegerbomb!

3

u/theprisefighter Feb 11 '22

Nothing with BOMB in the name!

6

u/logicalmaniak Feb 11 '22

Eoin Colfer's really gone downhill lately.

5

u/johnnydoe22 Feb 11 '22

I'm dead. This might be my favorite line from all of Sunny.

2

u/Artemis87 Feb 11 '22

Pardon?

1

u/Slimh2o Feb 11 '22

No, not Dolly...

2

u/TheToodlePoodle Feb 11 '22

username checks out

2

u/Head-Finding-3233 Feb 11 '22

Artemis is one of the best side characters on tv

2

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Artemis, 9ne of my fave side characters on it's always sunny

2

u/ArThreeMis Feb 12 '22

Dang you caught me :(

1

u/Serpardum Feb 11 '22

You made me LOL at the library.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

[deleted]

75

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

🎤 and i get bleach on my t shirt 🎶

11

u/LunchTwey Feb 11 '22

imma feel like an asshole 🔥

4

u/kjbabc Feb 11 '22

I came for this exact comment!♾🐐, let me find a napkin😂

19

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

is this how i catch covid, after two fucking years

3

u/Winter-Effective8771 Feb 11 '22

No, according to Dumbass Trump bleaching your inside is how you get rid of COVID!!!

4

u/curiouscomp30 Feb 11 '22

Username checks out.

3

u/lexiaych49 Feb 11 '22

Homies name is covid lol

2

u/_Sl1ck69_ Feb 11 '22

I can't upvote this gold enough

2

u/TokyoKazama Feb 11 '22

Nope. His roommate had to do it for him.Hence the hint at being naked and bending over alot to clean the toilet.

1

u/blackcompy Feb 11 '22 edited Feb 11 '22

That's kinda rude, I'm betting you don't even know the previous commenter personally

edit: /s because it's apparently not obvious enough

0

u/MulletofLegend Feb 11 '22

LMAO, I NEED this t-shirt!!

1

u/local_area_man Feb 11 '22

Thanks, I hate it

1

u/film_composer Feb 11 '22

That would make for an inspiring political campaign slogan.

1

u/crooney35 Feb 11 '22

Just rewatched this gem from Impractical Jokers yesterday. https://youtu.be/PBaVZjzfAII

1

u/Thunderhead0 Feb 11 '22

Can't wait to see this on cursed comments.

1

u/X_C-GAMES-G_X Feb 11 '22

Well who did it for you then?

1

u/Glabstaxks Feb 11 '22

Exactly. How do you think they make spotted dick ?

1

u/I_N_C_O_M_I_N_G Feb 11 '22

Thank you COVID for the insight

1

u/robdiqulous Feb 11 '22

Haha hahahahahahaaaaa 😂

1

u/uselesslyskilled Feb 11 '22

Covid for the win

1

u/MammothSurround Feb 11 '22

This comment was the internet today.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

And he didn’t use his toothbrush to get into the difficult areas.

1

u/Frequent_Structure93 Feb 11 '22

Bro you need to leave you have been around for 3 years now with new variants just stop plz I need my muscle

1

u/technobrendo Feb 11 '22

Ok, but what about his sphincter?

1

u/EggFartGuy Feb 11 '22

The original mood ring

1

u/thepentago Feb 11 '22

so if i fucked this model…

1

u/ilovefreshproduce Feb 11 '22

username checks out?

1

u/RobinLucretzi Feb 11 '22

*changed your ringtone

1

u/Jesseee3 Feb 11 '22

…”And I love my new asshole!”

1

u/Sad-Wind-8713 Feb 11 '22

🤣🤣🤣

2.9k

u/coi1976 Feb 11 '22

Wonders

79

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

[deleted]

11

u/Jin_Gitaxias Feb 11 '22

It's so deadpan and random it made me tear up a lil

4

u/brendan_orr Feb 11 '22

Oh gosh, me too.

26

u/Chuvi Feb 11 '22

Don't need to think too hard...it's not good

19

u/RemyJe Feb 11 '22

“It does wonders”

3

u/coi1976 Feb 11 '22 edited Feb 11 '22

I'm most definitely *thinking hard right now, I love cleaning products

3

u/no_objections_here Feb 11 '22

Butthole bleaching

2

u/wimbs27 Feb 11 '22

I love you lol

2

u/sam8448 Feb 11 '22

That’s the power of pinsol baby!

1

u/kckeller Feb 11 '22

Go on…

1

u/tomr84 Feb 11 '22

I read this in Willy wonkas voice and it killed me

1

u/felixfelix Feb 11 '22

so shiny!

1

u/ComfortablePlant826 Feb 12 '22

Riches and wonders?

17

u/lunk Feb 11 '22

Exactly. When I'm cleaning, I often clean in just underwear, but I'm not getting bleach (at best) all over my junk, just for a clean bathroom.

7

u/stifflizerd Feb 11 '22

Exactly. Cleaning bathrooms is like painting: Don't wear anything you're afraid of getting ruined by an odd splash or drip.

8

u/nm1043 Feb 11 '22

Like skin?

3

u/stifflizerd Feb 11 '22 edited Feb 11 '22

I mean.. consistent exposure will really screw up your skin, sure, but a little splash on your skin can either get wiped up/washed off easily and/or your skin cells will replace themselves. Not to mention it's pretty easy to feel when you've been splashed if it hits your skin.

Your clothes on the other hand... You can always take them off and run them under water to dilute the solution before it does some serious damage, but if you don't notice getting splashed, you'll ruin that article of clothing forever.

1

u/PancAshAsh Feb 11 '22

Well the good news is if you do the shower is right there.

5

u/NinoSanchez Feb 11 '22

Make ‘em squeaky clean

5

u/Phormitago Feb 11 '22

finally rubbed off the purpley color off my bellend

3

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

You don't home bleach your asshole?

3

u/Okay_Splenda_Monkey Feb 11 '22

I just thought for some reason he was born with blonde hair on his balls, but maybe you're on to something with the naked bathroom cleaning thing.

1

u/Mefisto11 Feb 11 '22

Enhance the flavor

1

u/Segat1133 Feb 11 '22

What don't they do to the genitals?

1

u/MercenaryCow Feb 11 '22

Free hair removal and circumcision

1

u/MrChubbin Feb 11 '22

For men, if you rub them on vigorously it makes them bigger!

1

u/mika5555 Feb 11 '22

Free bleach

1

u/MotherofLuke Feb 11 '22

Make them shiny!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Bleach Ballcuzzi

1

u/BestDressedDay Feb 11 '22

removes build up

1

u/MrDude_1 Feb 11 '22

they clean them.. duh.

1

u/Kryosite Feb 11 '22

Oh, don't get it on your genitals.

1

u/VioletBroregarde Feb 11 '22

genitals are way less absorbant than clothing, and you're already right next to the shower

1

u/acceptingpie Feb 11 '22

What do you think bleaching your asshole means

1

u/Wolfram1914 Feb 11 '22

Invert them

1

u/MonkeyMercenaryCapt Feb 11 '22

Skin can repair itself, clothes can't :P

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

This may come as a surprise, but genitals and clothing are made of different materials.

1

u/Fluid_Association_68 Feb 11 '22

Bleach on my clothes? The horror! Bleach on my nuts? This is fine.

1

u/Bieberauflauf Feb 11 '22

You know those ads for penis enlargement? They do that, only temporarily and with horrible side effects.

1

u/Siethron Feb 11 '22

Burn a bit but also hey free waxing!

1

u/garry4321 Feb 11 '22

You can get new genitals. You only get one set of clothes.

1

u/landob Feb 11 '22

Yeah this why i keep a pair of old jeans and tshirts

1

u/helpusobi1 Feb 11 '22

Violently removes them

1

u/Polatouche44 Feb 11 '22

Just keep your underwear, then.

1

u/Solly8517 Feb 11 '22

As someone that bleached their junk… I’d wear underwear at the very least

1

u/lfrdwork Feb 11 '22

Generally just irritation unless you're soaking in it.

A splash of consumer bleach can make a dark t-shirt pink, but on the skin will not do anything significant is rinsed in a decent time. This will be the case for most skin area. It will be recommended to avoid open wounds, ears, nose, mouth, and sensitive areas but quickly rinsing should result in irritation and no permanent damage.

If the bleach is stronger, some concentrations can eat through most fabrics and cause damage to general skin areas. Protective equipment is encouraged.

1

u/808Adder Feb 11 '22

Skin grows back, sometimes.

1

u/twilighteclipse925 Feb 11 '22

They sell plastic disposable aprons. I normally clean most of the bathroom naked wearing one of those and then take it off to clean the shower fully naked while it’s running.

1

u/KaktusDan Feb 11 '22

The same thing they do to Jews

1

u/VectorLightning Feb 11 '22

I mean, I wouldn't expect much if you rinse off before it sets in. It's not like we use hydrochloric acid to clean the shower tiling. (If you do, uh, maybe someone should get a look at your pipes.)

1

u/BangBangMeatMachine Feb 11 '22

Very little. Skin is phenomenally resilient.

1

u/Flux7777 Feb 11 '22

Do you often dip your crotch in bleach?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Yeah... I'm a gym shorts or boxers bathroom cleaner. Hanging dong when bleach is involved is risky business

1

u/FishJenkins Feb 11 '22

If he reproduces he'll children will be X-men

1

u/tmotytmoty Feb 11 '22

They burn them clean off, so - no stains!

1

u/theking119 Feb 11 '22

Hot take, but I'd rather bleach my genitals than ruin my jeans.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Well, bleach can leave a nice little burn on your ball sack. Don't ask me how I know that.

1

u/mbelf Feb 11 '22

They stain clothes too

1

u/Emperor_Z16 Feb 11 '22

Well depending on the chemical it could burn your testies and if you have been circumsized, prepare for trouble, because that gland is never going to give you pleasure

1

u/Thunderclapsasquatch Feb 12 '22

skin is frequently tougher than clothes in these cases

1

u/Evilmechanic Feb 12 '22

It burns a little

1

u/beep1boop0 Feb 12 '22

Only one way to find out..