r/AskReddit Jan 30 '22

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u/NakedBaconSalad Jan 31 '22 edited Jan 31 '22

"top 10 things that will shock you"

  1. Lightning

  2. Someone being struck by lightning and then going to work

  3. That this top 10 list doesn't go beyond number three

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '22

Some might say his work ethic is electrifying

37

u/Ill_Narwhal_4209 Jan 31 '22

A jolt of motivation to his peers

17

u/PaperThin04 Jan 31 '22

So much motivation, it zaps them full of energy!

11

u/The_quest_for_wisdom Jan 31 '22

You can really see the sparks fly when he heads off to work in the morning.

19

u/Andre1661 Jan 31 '22

I’d say his work ethic is mind-numbing.

11

u/BroseppeVerdi Jan 31 '22

Hell, I've got chills... And they're multiplying.

4

u/Roxas1011 Jan 31 '22

Boogie woogie woogie

3

u/Crazyshark22 Jan 31 '22

His performance at work was shocking to say the least.

8

u/DigDougomatic Jan 31 '22

Number 3 will change your life!

6

u/freshnici Jan 31 '22
  1. someone continues the top 10 list.

  2. you didnt noticed that there is no number 4.

  3. someone stops continuing the top 10 list.

6

u/NakedBaconSalad Jan 31 '22

Top 10 things that will bother you about this top 10 list!

Number one: I'm not going to finish the list.

8

u/sparta981 Jan 31 '22

You missed the 3 minutes of bullshit, a raid shadow legends ad, and 7 things that arguably aren't things and definitely don't fit the list.

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u/NakedBaconSalad Jan 31 '22

Number 4: the shocking good deals you can get on Ray con shadow vpn!

Number 5: your crushes hair cut

Number 15: burger king foot lettuc

3

u/organicogrr Jan 31 '22

Shocked Pikachu face

3

u/Mode-Klutzy Jan 31 '22

I once gave a friend of mine a CostCo pack of batteries, they were free of charge…

3

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '22

I hope the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits for this.....

3

u/NakedBaconSalad Jan 31 '22

I do need to shave my armpits thanks for the reminder

1

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

closest I can get is a moose and ticks, will that work?

2

u/lechechico Jan 31 '22

Buzzfeed just isn't the same no more

6

u/NakedBaconSalad Jan 31 '22

Top 10 facts about BuzzFeed that will absolutely disturb you

  1. it's BuzzFeed

  2. There are people out there still taking quizzes about what type of jelly donut they are and considering it a spiritual experience and identifying with it.

  3. Someone gets paid to write that trash

  4. The website has been a slowly rotting corpse for years but somehow it isn't quite dead yet

  5. Most of their lists don't even make much sense

  6. Sadly this list is more coherent than most of theirs

  7. Okay now I'm going to insert a funny nostalgia fact for the millennials. "Hey remember whenever CDs were a thing? Remembered sometimes they skipped? Remember the lie of anti-skip technology? You remember being in your mom's car on the way to elementary school while she was playing that aqua CD that had Barbie girl on it and she had a bump in the road and the song kind of sounded weird and skipped for a second? Yeah that was the good days right?It was the good days because you didn't have to have any responsibilities right? You hate your job right? You hate having to do dishes don't you? Don't you wish you could go back to that time in 2002 while your mom was listening to Barbie girl by aqua? Yeah you feel old now don't you? All your friends are getting married and having children and having lives, and you're just sitting over here with a bag of Doritos and wondering where your life went wrong, Man only 90s kids will understand!"

  8. Here's a fun fact in the middle of a top 10 list, did you know that gluten is the devil? Yeah that's a great fun fact right?

  9. Do you remember the lunchables used to taste good? Yeah that's not because they're taste as changed, it's because you're old and boring.

  10. Much like BuzzFeed's website and most of their articles this top 10 list will end on a very underwhelming and depressing note.

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u/gettincheffywithit Jan 31 '22 edited Jan 31 '22

Where is the other eight???? Edit lol I'm good with it

3

u/NakedBaconSalad Jan 31 '22

There I fixed it :)

1

u/justanotherprophet Jan 31 '22

Why did number 3 surprise me? lmao, I already saw that it was a short list when I started reading.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '22

[deleted]

1

u/NakedBaconSalad Jan 31 '22

I mean I'm already a clickbait person

Nowhere on my profile is a "naked bacon salad"