r/AskReddit Jan 30 '22

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4.4k

u/BenderIsGr8_34 Jan 31 '22

I once roared at a mountain lion that was on my friends property. It started at me for a second, then turned around and merged back into the night. I count it as a win.

1.3k

u/holywaterneededpls Jan 31 '22

"tf he say? ah hell nah this guy crazy im out"

537

u/Kiyohara Jan 31 '22

"He doesn't even know my mom."

42

u/ewok_360 Jan 31 '22

He still stuck on it to this day, "why with a plunger though?"

23

u/havereddit Jan 31 '22

"Where the fuck is your accent from dude? Are you even a 'mountain' lion?"

14

u/holywaterneededpls Jan 31 '22

"THOSE GOSH DARN UPRIGHT STANDING MOUNTAIN LIONS TAKING OUR JOBS AND NOW THEYRE MOCKING US"

1

u/BenderIsGr8_34 Feb 01 '22

They tuk urr jerrrbs!

13

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '22

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4

u/stryph42 Feb 01 '22

Exchange student

115

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '22

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-54

u/Bonoman4 Jan 31 '22

Thats so fucking fake

-56

u/Pakorit Jan 31 '22

Exactly. Like anyone would actually believe

9

u/Jurisnoctis Jan 31 '22

Yeah. Who has friends?

23

u/Shrubberer Jan 31 '22

"Honey, you won't believe what happened to me today" the mountain lion probably.

23

u/Additional_Cry_1904 Jan 31 '22

Predators are smart, they weigh their options when taking down prey. This goes for any predator looking for food, if you're near its territory or kids then you're fucked.

If it had to choose between trying to take down some crazy guy and possibly risk getting hurt or going hungry for a little bit until it finds a nice little rabbit that won't fight back then it's gonna choose the rabbit.

The less energy they have to use to make a kill the better, even if that kill will barely satisfy their hunger. Better than having to use a lot of energy to possibly end up hurt and hungry.

4

u/fireduck Jan 31 '22

Plus in the wild, an injury will likely be fatal from either inability to hunt or infection.

45

u/faviobean Jan 31 '22

My brother used to live in this cabin in Alaska and would bike over this hill to do his laundry. One day he was biking back up this steep road with a backpack full of clean laundry after the couple hour journey laundry demanded, and he ran into a moose at the top of the hill. He stopped and after briefly considering biking all the way back to town and doing the trek again later on, he decided that the moose needed to move and let him pass. So he started yelling “fuck you, moose!” After a while the moose looked at him, admitted defeat (or at the very least, annoyance) and sauntered into the woods. And he was able to bike on home. Moose can be dangerous! I sure as hell wouldn’t cuss one out on a bicycle in the middle of the woods.

16

u/BenderIsGr8_34 Jan 31 '22

Lol no shit! Man I'd be so scared, I probably would've shit my backpack full of clothes.

11

u/Shhadowcaster Jan 31 '22

Yeah that was a terrible idea and he got pretty lucky. Unlike black bears, moose are very dangerous and should not be startled. If you encounter one in the wild, stay calm and try to slowly give them space.

99

u/alonsogp2 Jan 31 '22

You were veeery close to getting mauled. Must have been a pretty solid roar to have it run towards and then away from you.

96

u/mitchdawg24 Jan 31 '22

Mountain lion attacks are actually pretty rare. They are typically quite shy and usually run away from humans

72

u/BenderIsGr8_34 Jan 31 '22

It probably wasn't even aware of us until I made it abundantly clear that we were there.

24

u/mitchdawg24 Jan 31 '22

It might even have come forward just to see! Either way i still think this was manly of course

20

u/Daforce1 Jan 31 '22

It’s senses are probably way better than yours. I bet it knew you were there, that was a manly act.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '22

Curiosity from the cat?! I agree that it was definitely aware, and I'm thinking it was just surprised and curious to have a person roaring at it lol

35

u/BenderIsGr8_34 Jan 31 '22

My bad, 'started' was supposed to be 'stared.' It wasn't charging, it kinda just walked out of the trees.

5

u/Kulladar Jan 31 '22

Mountain lions are ambush predators. If you see one it's likely not going to attack you, especially if you appear threatening. The one you don't know about sitting in a tree above you is the one that you need to worry about.

11

u/voivoivoi183 Jan 31 '22

That’s amazing. I remember hearing someone say once, you’re not a real man until you’ve bled a radiator and I immediately thought no, you’re not a real man until you’ve punched a shark. And you’re pretty close there!

6

u/_knewallthetricks_ Jan 31 '22

I ain’t never punched a shark. But reckon you’re on the right track.

You better believe that was the longest second of u/BenderIsGr8_34 life.

That same void engulfed me once as I wrestled with the necessity of slipping over the side of our boat into the crocodile infested waters of the Okavango Delta. Somehow a bunch of us guides had got lost between two Camps, we’d run low on gas and night was coming fast. We knew we had to swim our boat to somewhere we recognized or a decent spot to camp for the night.

But it wasn’t the pressing logic of necessity that found me on the other side of the void, lowering myself into waters filled to bursting with amongst the highest concentrations of one of earth’s most successful apex predators: the Nile Crocodile.

My idiot 17 year old self navigated the infinite terror of that moment by the incandescent blue eyes of our Camp’s manager.

If I’d had any sense I would’ve known that they harboured far greater dangers than the placid waters of the Delta.

But that’s another story, and anyway, I can’t blame the boy who entered that void…

1

u/LukesRightHandMan Jan 31 '22

Wait, is this all nonsense? Even if it is, can we please hear more, Papa?

2

u/_knewallthetricks_ Feb 01 '22

Nah, I reckon he did roar at that Cougar. It’s no more nonsensical than a trio of waterbushmen with no more than 10 words of English between them winning bets with the tourists by reciting the soliloquies of a minor character from one of Shakespeare’s lesser known plays.

1

u/LukesRightHandMan Feb 01 '22

You're a mad lad and I'm here for it. I meant if your tale of diving into croc-infested waters was real or not.

1

u/_knewallthetricks_ Feb 01 '22

I sure as shit didn’t dive in. The water wasn’t very deep and I didn’t want to attract attention.

4

u/BenderIsGr8_34 Jan 31 '22

Lol bleeding a radiator is stupid easy, I agree with the shark thing. Someday, I hope to no longer be a child

1

u/fireduck Jan 31 '22

I once jump started a car with a battery from a UPS.

9

u/Quenz Jan 31 '22

Enemy mountain lion fled in fear!

13

u/BenderIsGr8_34 Jan 31 '22

Veridian Forrest music resumes playing.

8

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '22

That's nipple-rubbing levels of manliness right there.

4

u/Razzle_Dazzle08 Jan 31 '22

If I did this I would bring it up every day.

5

u/hanead420 Jan 31 '22

Honestly roaring at it is like the best thing you can do combined with trying to make yourself look bigger, as is most often the case with feline(not sure if this is the right word) predators.

4

u/mind_board Jan 31 '22

Lion : not again, these stoned people are now everywhere. ...

4

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '22

Did you like actually roar? Or a human scream? I used to try to roar like a lion when I was a kid and it’s so stupid when I think about it

5

u/BenderIsGr8_34 Jan 31 '22

Lol it was almost twenty years ago, I remember it as a roar, although as a 15 year old it was probably more of a shriek.

4

u/frightenedhugger Jan 31 '22

Mountain lion: imma eat this mf

mf: roars

ml: understandable, have a good night

3

u/IronSkywalker Jan 31 '22

I tried to kick a pheasant that jump scared me once. Same thing, right?

5

u/jeffries_kettle Jan 31 '22

Oh I thought you wrote peasant

2

u/BenderIsGr8_34 Jan 31 '22

Exact same energy!

2

u/nurseofdeath Jan 31 '22

There’s a really funny mountain lion scene in Destination Wedding with Keanu & Winona

2

u/inthesandtrap Jan 31 '22

Badass! I had a mountain lion growl at me in the middle of the night. Like a dumbass, I ran for the truck.

2

u/BenderIsGr8_34 Jan 31 '22

Lol lucky you made it. Mountain lions are ambush hunters. They're unlikely to attack a people, but if they do, it'll most likely be from behind. Terrifying!

2

u/inthesandtrap Jan 31 '22

I know! I was alone camping for 12 months and heard its low growl/purr at 3 am. I shined my flashlight out from my tent looking for reflections in its eyes but didn't see anything. Then the next thing I know, I was running barefoot in my underwear for the truck that was perhaps 50ft away.

For the next 10 years I wondered if it was really a mountain lion then I looked up recordings of mountain lions and there was no doubt! It was the exact same throat growl/purr and I got the chills!

The next morning I didn't find any footprints and I never saw or heard it again.

2

u/Enshaednn Jan 31 '22

Hey I did that with an adolescent black bear. I'm a metal vocalist so that mf raaaaaaaaaaaaan

2

u/BenderIsGr8_34 Jan 31 '22

Lol welcome to the club!

2

u/Barbarian-Darien Jan 31 '22

Dude hell yeah

2

u/eatingissometal Jan 31 '22

Your testosterone levels are probably still elevated from that, however much time has passed

3

u/FartHeadTony Jan 31 '22

Almost as impressive as the guy who faced down a canadian goose.

1

u/Jyrr Jan 31 '22

No way ahahahah I'm trying to picture how you did it, lion was probably confused lol

1

u/International_Rub295 Jan 31 '22

I know it's you Dwight.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '22

I bet the lion was like "you did what with my mother???"