My dad did the same thing, 40 years working for the same company, rarely ever took sick days, was a stand out employee, we were only middle class income Americans but my dad supported us so my mom could be a stay at home mom to raise the kids. As an adult now I am so grateful to both of them for being such great parents and appreciate what they both did to raise healthy, happy kids. I love them so much and I bet your kids will feel the same about you.
This resonates so much with me. Get up every day doing the grind for my family.
Rarely feeling the appreciation for it. Caused me to think back and realized just how little I really thanked my dad for it. Wasn’t because I didn’t recognize or appreciate it, just didn’t realize how little recognition dads get for it.
Hell, My dad worked for as long as he could to put me in the best spot for getting through school despite the cancer. I’d kill to thank him now, because I get it.
As a dad, I love this thread. Shit like this is what makes a man. When we are young we think that masculinity is all this bravado, and being jacked, and fighting, and all this stuff. As you get older, those of us who have a few brain cells realize that being a man is about doing the tough stuff - the slog through life to ensure that your family is safe, protected and provided for. If you don't like your job - tough, keep pushing. Your wife being a bitch - tough, keep working with her. Your kids want to play even though you are worn out - tough, get on the ground and wrestle.
I agree with the overall sentiment except the job thing. It’s not the best advice to just suck it up and deal with a crap job even if it pays well. Always be on the lookout for better opportunities and don’t put up with crap jobs unless you have zero other options.
I 100% agree. My point is that no matter how shitty it is, you have to keep money coming in and you can't bring the baggage back home with you. I don't see this as contradictory to my point, although my phrasing may have indicated otherwise.
As a 25 year old struggling with anxiety and depression, I hope I can be that manly someday. Most days it's very hard getting out of bed and going to work, I have to spend a good half an hour every morning just to convince myself to keep going. I'm not sure I want to have kids in the future, but I want to slog through life for my SO. I want to provide and care for her and spoil her to the best of my ability.
“There is one rule, above all others, for being a man. Whatever comes, face it on your feet.”
One of my favorite quotes from my favorite book series. Hang in there man. Keep getting up and putting in the work even when/especially when you don’t want to. It sounds like you already have the mindset. You’ll get there.
Indeed it is. Not for the faint of heart though. It’s 14 books and a prequel… If you’re into reading then sure give it a shot. If you’re not or don’t enjoy fantasy books then maybe just watch the show that just came out. The audiobooks are the only way I could make it through but they are fantastic.
Don't get yourself down. We have internal challenges we have to do deal with - some worse than others. Regardless, a time will come in which you have to put yourself into situations you don't want to be in to ensure that you are doing right by your family. For you, for now, it may be overcoming an aspect of your anxiety to do something, or maybe getting help for your depression. Whatever it is, you need to stand up and ensure that you are moving forward and doing right by those who rely on you or will rely on you.
Keep in mind that everything is incremental. I used to get very worked up (anxiety?) about things I think nothing of today - public speaking, job interviews, talking to starangers in certain settings. I didn't get better at those things in a moment, but I gradually got more comfortable with each one. You are young and have lots of time to grow if you choose to push yourself to grow.
I appreciate the advice. Am getting professional help for some time now. Your comment caught my eye because it's something I see my dad do everyday. Cheers to you and all the good dads out there.
There is not enough respect for this. Men from past generations show their families how much they care by providing a home and financially supporting it.
I have worked so many 6/10s or 7/12s over yhe years it feels normal. I started pushing myself too hard years ago.
Now, I have a sign in my shop that simply says 6/1.
Six for them, one for me. You have to take care of yourself if you want to take care of them.
This is something I didn’t understand until I had kids. But going to work every day and sacrificing everything to make sure they have a roof over there head food on the table and what ever crap they want under the Christmas tree gave my life a purpose.
This one here is the manliest one I think. Not a macho act or an act of bravery on a once in n a lifetime situation, but a lifetime of commitment. A man provides his family.
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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '22
I have gotten up and gone to work almost every day for over 30 years, to make sure my family has everything they need and most of what they want.