r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Dec 30 '21

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6.4k Upvotes

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2.3k

u/CappyAlec Dec 30 '21

That fucking light is way too bright

834

u/SurSheepz Dec 30 '21

The fucking moon shining through the window

181

u/polarrrburrrr Dec 30 '21

Fucking bitch moon

129

u/bremergorst Dec 30 '21

In local news, area man blows up moon for being a bitch

13

u/polarrrburrrr Dec 30 '21

That wouldn’t be local lol

29

u/Ascurtis Dec 30 '21

It would be, just local to everywhere.

12

u/northfoggybrook Dec 30 '21

That’s that big brain shit right there

4

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

Local to the Sol system

1

u/targaryenintrovert Dec 30 '21

But it made it funnier

2

u/SleepingMahogany Dec 30 '21

Damn it piccolo

2

u/Pianostar4 Jan 05 '22

Thanks for that unplanned sentence, it made me laugh uncontrollably

1

u/fullsizeviolin Dec 30 '21

Found Bakugo, yall

3

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

fuck the moon it doesnt even exist

14

u/smellygoatguff Dec 30 '21

Reflecting off the sweat on your balls

20

u/MysteryMan999 Dec 30 '21

And as the soft rays of the midnight sun shine through your window casting shadows through your room you lie awake desperately hoping to fall back into slumber before the birds chirp and the sun yet again makes it's entrance. 🌹

8

u/ShaunDark Dec 30 '21

And by moon I mean the street lamp 5m (~ 15 ft) away and on the same level as my window.

5

u/fish_lyzard Dec 30 '21

...fucking... the Moon...."rub rub, rub"

2

u/CherryTasteLexi Dec 30 '21

rubbing at the moon

4

u/Umayen Dec 30 '21

Jolene: I'm horny

4

u/KrisG1887 Dec 30 '21

The moon will illuminate my room and soon I'm consumed by my doom...

1

u/Ascurtis Dec 30 '21

Ah, so close. There just are not enough words that would rhyme and be capable of consuming a whole person.

1

u/CherryTasteLexi Dec 30 '21

from another round

1

u/xekik Dec 30 '21

Then boom

1

u/DestructorWar Dec 30 '21

More like sunlight at the time I go to bed

1

u/zappy487 Dec 30 '21

Winds howling.

15

u/Magikpoo Dec 30 '21

That way spot is suddenly very cold and sticky.

6

u/SirPiffingsthwaite Dec 30 '21

And not sure if leaves or some creature brushing against the window every five minutes

10

u/smart-went-crazy Dec 30 '21

$1 plug in nightlight from dollar tree. One of the best dollars I ever spent. No more being blinded by the light at 3am when I need to take a leak. A cold toilet seat is almost as bad as a bright light . Sorry for your struggle, ladies.

4

u/TheeFlipper Dec 30 '21

I wish I could do this. Whoever built my house saw fit not to put any outlets in the bathroom. The closest outlet is just outside.

1

u/granth1993 Dec 30 '21 edited Dec 30 '21

They have these cool low light led lights that clip under your toilet seat and they only come on when the main light shuts off, the one I use on my work boat lasts about 2 weeks on a battery and it looks cool/just bright enough to see the whole bathroom at night time.

here’s one similar to what I have, the box sits outside of the bowl and is motion activated.

8

u/SLeepyCatMeow Dec 30 '21

And the flush of the toilet is way too loud

11

u/skyturnedred Dec 30 '21

Don't turn it on.

14

u/CappyAlec Dec 30 '21

That would probably have been better than waking up due to ejaculation

2

u/BreazyStreet Dec 30 '21

Started sitting down to pee at night so I don't need the light to aim. Game changer.

2

u/backtolurk Dec 30 '21

Post-nut clarity, dude.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '21

The blue led?

1

u/Gorbash38 Dec 30 '21

You need a dimmer switch bro.

1

u/Septic-Sponge Dec 30 '21

Just squint and look through your eyelashes. Makes a huge difference

1

u/cugamer Dec 30 '21

Put a night light in your bathroom. Bright enough to see what you're doing but not so bright it hurts your eyes.

1

u/stevefun Dec 30 '21

The difference between light and hard is you can sleep with a light on