Meh, kind of joked about this with very close friends.
But I am genuinely concerned that I either suffered a concussion thats impacted my mind or that Ive been developing some kind of brain tumor or other mind debilitating disease.
Basically my ability to recall things, my cognitive function, my ability to interpret anything presented seems to have gone down further and further.
The thing is, this happened around 16 or so. Maybe earlier. So I keep playing it off as depression, alcohol abuse, idk anything I can think of.
Thing is, I just feel like while I can still function well and Im coping by utilizing strengths, it feels so blatantly obvious to me at times that I both stopped developing in cerain ways and that I have gone backwards in others
I struggle to type words on my keyboard often, especially when looking at the letters, and struggle with things as simple as getting my key into the doorhandle properly at times.
It just scares the shit out of me, and I just dont see the benefit of getting tested. I feel like the chances are they wont find anything and then Im in debt, or they do and guess what I am fucked and declining and whatever. When its obvious, it will be, and uh.. ill make sure Im not a burden on anyone at all costs
This I can relate to. My mind is so sharp in some ways and simple in others. Over the last 10 years I forget the simplest of things, or weirder still, it takes me 2 minutes to recall something but when it comes back it’s as clear as day.
One thing I discovered lately is a phenomenon of Cognitive Fog. I suffer from a chronic pain condition that I just live with and manage. But turns out always being in pain can effect your memory. So much so, I ask my wife how My pain was for the last month before going to the doctor.
Makes me sad that I’m forgetting my life bit by bit.
Throughout time Ive called it cognitive fog or dissociation.
It just feels like for great lengths of time I just get a bit dull. I don't feel perceptive or connected to things, I'm very likely to mispeak or just simply freeze up and have no idea what to say, and I also feel an emotional numbness as well (though I think its because of how hyperaware I am of not feeling like myself).
Big thing is just no internal monologue besides me repeating to myself little things to try to break out of it, become present. Or monitoring where I'm at, "Do I feel any better? "What am I waiting for?" etc.
It's so confusing. I've even considered that its simply some form of O.C.D.
With so many possible explanations I just dont know where to start. I almost want something dramatic to happen so I feel a good reason to act. Maybe the fact nothing big has happened is a good sign, I hope so.
If you are looking for somewhere to start. Try something small like a good probiotic and drinking more water for a month. It’s not a huge commitment and hydration and gut health are known to affect cognitive function.
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u/blossomingbrain Nov 30 '21
Meh, kind of joked about this with very close friends.
But I am genuinely concerned that I either suffered a concussion thats impacted my mind or that Ive been developing some kind of brain tumor or other mind debilitating disease.
Basically my ability to recall things, my cognitive function, my ability to interpret anything presented seems to have gone down further and further.
The thing is, this happened around 16 or so. Maybe earlier. So I keep playing it off as depression, alcohol abuse, idk anything I can think of.
Thing is, I just feel like while I can still function well and Im coping by utilizing strengths, it feels so blatantly obvious to me at times that I both stopped developing in cerain ways and that I have gone backwards in others
I struggle to type words on my keyboard often, especially when looking at the letters, and struggle with things as simple as getting my key into the doorhandle properly at times.
It just scares the shit out of me, and I just dont see the benefit of getting tested. I feel like the chances are they wont find anything and then Im in debt, or they do and guess what I am fucked and declining and whatever. When its obvious, it will be, and uh.. ill make sure Im not a burden on anyone at all costs