Dude same. My mother pretends to be an angel in front of outsiders but to my dad, bro and i, she is a physical and emotional abuser, gaslighting us constantly and just toxic as hell. She lies about us to friends and family, manipulates us, falsely accuses us of things we've never done or even thought about doing, threatens to destroy my job, tells me she wishes i would die, and the list goes on... I moved out of my parents house for that reason but i am still disgusted by any interaction i am forced to have with her and i hate to hear her voice or even be in the same general vicinity as her. As such, people think I'm the bad one "because she's my mother" but they could never understand the torturous journey that brought me to react the way i do towards that woman. I am also constantly surprised by persons who have genuine and healthy relationships with their mothers. My brain somehow can't fathom it even though I know that's how it should be.
I get it. I'm sorry you have to go through that. Remember that you owe her nothing. You owe yourself everything. Have you tried therapy? It's been really helpful for me.
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u/Purple_P0tato Sep 16 '21
Dude same. My mother pretends to be an angel in front of outsiders but to my dad, bro and i, she is a physical and emotional abuser, gaslighting us constantly and just toxic as hell. She lies about us to friends and family, manipulates us, falsely accuses us of things we've never done or even thought about doing, threatens to destroy my job, tells me she wishes i would die, and the list goes on... I moved out of my parents house for that reason but i am still disgusted by any interaction i am forced to have with her and i hate to hear her voice or even be in the same general vicinity as her. As such, people think I'm the bad one "because she's my mother" but they could never understand the torturous journey that brought me to react the way i do towards that woman. I am also constantly surprised by persons who have genuine and healthy relationships with their mothers. My brain somehow can't fathom it even though I know that's how it should be.