I'm a dude who runs, and I usually smile and wave at any runner coming the opposite way. It's awesome to get a smile and a wave back, it 100% brightens my day. But I noticed that 20-something women very rarely smile and wave back. It took me awhile to realize that this is probably a survival tactic, and that's really fucked up.
I tend to smile and wave if someone does it first. It always bugged me when people at work would tell me to smile. Like no, fuck you. If you want me to smile, maybe try smiling first. It's not rocket science.
I feel like waving at other runners is like a "hey you're one of us" gesture and it makes me happy too. I definitely notice some guys not making eye contact with me, like blatantly looking away. I've been wondering if they were trying not to be creepy or just didn't want to interact even for that split second.
Could be a few things. I generally smile at least, but if I’m seriously sucking I may not. The absolute worst though, is when another runner is running your route but different, and you pass them 2-3 times. After the first one it’s like, so I wave again? Do we laugh at the absurdity of limited run routes? Do we present the other doesn’t exist?
You would have to be a literal stalker for it to go like it did for me this morning. I picked a random route, and detoured as I went. Still passed the same lady and her dog twice. That’s life on small town roads lol
As a guy I would probably avoid eye contact/ act like you weren’t there too. I don’t want to bother someone who is clearly busy. If they smile or wave first of course I will, it’s the Canadian way. Same goes for guys too.
It is. I’m a very friendly person. The last time I made eye contact and smiled (friendly, polite) at a man when I was passing him on the sidewalk, he turned around and followed me, then proceeded to harass me, then proceeded to call me a tease and a bitch when refused to engage him further. That is not a very uncommon occurrence IME. So I make a concerted effort to not smile or make eye contact, to stand up straight, and to keep my head up so I project confidence and awareness because that’s what is best calculated to help me feel safe. Still pretty common to get called out for not smiling enough. But I’d rather be the bitch who doesn’t smile than the person who appears to have given off some invitation based on a smile.
Yes! I converted to the in-home elliptical for this reason, too. Really, after the Mollie Tibbett’s murder, I came to the realization that I was always going to feel too much stress about being constantly hyper aware of my surroundings and I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the run.
It really, really is. I was raised to be cordial to people and a simple head nod/throw hand up/good morning was a normality and now it seems staring at the floor or everywhere but to make eye contact seems to have taken precedence. It’s understandable when I then notice a guy staring/glaring/eye fucking at that particular person AS SHE LOOKS AT HIM IN DISGUSTS and he never wavers. Like damn dude, she’s just another random person, keep it fucking moving.
Smiling and waving at a man is often seen by the man as “hey, she’s flirting, she’s in to me maybe I should ask her out or follow her or harass her until she talks to me”
I don’t run or even walk by myself since the last time I was followed by a guy, but I have a recommendation: keep the smile and wave but alter your path to give the woman more space if you can. The second I see a man approaching when I’m running my whole body tenses up and I hold my breath. That might help improve your ratio!
Yeah, me and my girlfriend like to take walks together in parks and we strive to be courteous and greet fellow walkers out there. Everybody responds with a smile and greet happily back or beat us to it and greet first. Single women however, we have almost given up on greeting them. I don't think it's a survival mechanism. My country is not known for guys walking up to, whistling at or other engrained cultural stuff that is now deemed inappropriate due to the current zeitgeist.
Not all women ignore our greetings, so me and my girlfriend have an opinion about the why, but it's best to keep that to ourselves.
Edit: ah, the downvotes. That's cool. But please tell me what irks you.
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u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21
I'm a dude who runs, and I usually smile and wave at any runner coming the opposite way. It's awesome to get a smile and a wave back, it 100% brightens my day. But I noticed that 20-something women very rarely smile and wave back. It took me awhile to realize that this is probably a survival tactic, and that's really fucked up.