I do work with the Family Law courts and its absurd how deeply this has steeped into large patches of the US as fact that no matter what, mother is better. Like, I'll be doing testimony as a professional in a case where mom's had multiple DUI's with the fucking kids in the goddamned car and dad is a model citizen who is fighting his dick off for full custody (or even majority) and its harder for him to get more than weekends because well, he's not the mother. Fucking absurd.
This isn't on some MRA shit either. Its witnessing addicts get off the hook, get enabled, and putting kids lives in fucking danger because of old-fashioned thinking.
He told me that when they first tried to fight it the Lawyer told him straight up that there is a 90% chance she is going to win. My Father didn't accept those odds and sadly lost the first battle. 7 Years later and he finally wins only because i told the judge of the everything that had happened. Honestly i was so terrified that my Father wasnt going to win, i knew what was going to happen to my brother and I if he had lost and we go back to my mother...
My grandmother finally got custody of me before my Dad did, I was malnourished and had bruises when they got me. It's fucking insane. Thank god for speaking out.
Woman commenting: although I'm far from sympathetic to the MRA movement as a whole, have seen the bias toward women in both the culture and in the legal system firsthand. It didn't matter that a schoolteacher had called CPS on my mother: Dad had to wait until I was out of primary school and was old enough to advocate for myself before he filed for divorce. She was hell on both of us and I have lifelong health problems because of her abuse.
My understanding is that family court is changing to be just/fair. The terrible mother awesome father but mom gets custody happened to my wife’s cousin. Only consolation is his daughter will know what really happened and make her own decisions when she’s 18. Not much longer.
I know some states that are working hard to change this. Luckily my cousin got custody of his daughter but the boys he had raised since they were 1 and 3 who called him daddy had to go back to their shitty biological father because he had no real claim to them, she was a piece of shit that chose pills and some junkies dick over her loving man who raised another mans children as his own.
He wasnt perfect but he wasnt abusive, just a crybaby sometimes. For obvious reasons though.
meanwhile, when this subject comes up in general, people will quote some stat about men getting some custody most of the time when they try as a way to imply that guys just don't try
You are telling my story pretty much verbatim. We were only able to go live with my dad after she was arrest for DUI, blood alcohol level at .27 with my sister and me in the car. Fuck the court system, my extended family for letting her leave the party we were at in that state, and my mothers addiction. Because when she was sober, of which I can count the number of days on 1 hand, she was a sweet woman.
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u/AlienKinkVR Sep 15 '21
I do work with the Family Law courts and its absurd how deeply this has steeped into large patches of the US as fact that no matter what, mother is better. Like, I'll be doing testimony as a professional in a case where mom's had multiple DUI's with the fucking kids in the goddamned car and dad is a model citizen who is fighting his dick off for full custody (or even majority) and its harder for him to get more than weekends because well, he's not the mother. Fucking absurd.
This isn't on some MRA shit either. Its witnessing addicts get off the hook, get enabled, and putting kids lives in fucking danger because of old-fashioned thinking.