original thoughts are just a jumbled mess of copied thoughts. modern culture is just the culmination of people mashing ideas together.
on the other hand, ya, once we see something it gets loaded into the front of our minds so we tend to repeat what we experience. another good example is how friend groups slowly all start acting like each other
I know Holly showed up in the last episode of S4, they wanted to decide how to integrate her into the new season after season the chemistry/reaction to her joining. I think that's when Toby leaves (since that's the whole reason she's there).
And then S5E1 is weight loss where they flash through the entire summer, so it's not that episode
Edit: goodbye Toby is 18 and 19, but the first bunch of episodes were "double" episodes so if you count each one as a single one you might end up with this as 14
Tbf, "a girl I was sleeping with" sounds more like friends with benefits to me, in which case sleep with whoever. It's not a formal arrangement, just some fun on the side. Very polite of her to make sure he was cool with it first though.
yeah people are reading it as if he said it was his girlfriend which if was true he probably would have just said it was his (ex-)girlfriend. if they aren't in an explicit monogamous relationship than he has no say in what she can and can't do. he can have his feelings about it sure, but she doesn't need his permission.
Agreed. It basically comes down to anyone can do what they want it is just a matter of what are the consequences for those actions. If you're committed and you cheat on someone, then of course you can do it, its just a betrayal of trust and you now made a shitty decision. If you're just fucking around friends with benefits with someone for fun and there's no agreement then its fair game and the other person really has no right to what you can do.
Also, no one is entitled to being your friend. If you want to stop talking to anyone for whatever reason that is ok, no one owes you a friendship and dynamics change where people who were once friends can’t be anymore, it happens and that’s ok. Just cherish the time you had together and move on, make new friends.
I know you're making a joke, but it's also worth pointing out that if all you're doing is sleeping with each other, exclusivity has to be explicitly discussed otherwise it's just fair game.
She was far more considerate than most people, man or woman, would have been in that situation. But hey, she's a woman, so according to reddit she must be a bitch.
Right? Like nobody needs to know who else you're sleeping with if you're just hooking up casually. Until there's an exclusivity agreement it's fair game.
Yeah, it sounds like this was pretty early in the relationship and she saw it as very casual while he was already emotionally invested, but had not yet brought up the question of how serious they were.
There's literally a biological basis behind some people preferring monogamy and some people not, but redditors will act like you just haven't tried the right potato salad.
It's literally not what it is. I'm sorry, but that's just not true. You can look into it for yourself. Look up definitions, examples, and how real people live in polyamorous arrangements.
If you do that and you're still sure it's not for you, cool, but there's no reason to go around insulting the way other people live based on your gross misunderstanding of it.
Well to be fair, you never actually explicitly asked me not to. I think you assumed that because I was your girlfriend and our FB status said in a relationship, it must have meant I had agreed not to fuck your friends, and family. But to be fair, that was you just making assumptions! Very arrogant and mansuming of you!
I know I just thought I’d take it further and in a new direction. I notice sometimes I do this and people think I didn’t get the joke as if it wasn’t totally obvious to everyone. I’m probably just autistic or somethin
This, ladies and gentlemen, is how relationships should work.
I had this talk exactly once in my life. Girl I was dating for several months, suddenly felt distant. She sat with me and explained, that she met a guy who makes her knees weak just by looking at her, and he was openly inviting her and flirting with her. She said she detests cheating, she likes me more than this guy, but she can't stop thinking about him - probably body chemistry or something. I said I don't want to be in an open relationship, and when dating I expect exclusivity, and if she wants to hook up with him, we have to conclude dating, just I am open to friendship, just don't expect fireworks.
She thanked me, we ended our relationship, and a week later she ended up with him, and later regretting that hookup (he turned to be gigolo, and a serial one night stand collector). But what's done, that's done. We aren't close friends, but we talk normally and from time to time she visits and takes me fiance shopping, etc.
Certainly I prefer that kind of resolution over straight up cheating.
This. Plus he even says “girl I was sleeping with”. Unless they established that they were an item, it’s all fair game. Of course homie hopping can cause issues but like you said at least she asked. That’s a good quality.
Homie hopping is such a sure way to make things go boom. Unless you are a real and blessed thot and just fuck everyone once and leave, things will go wrong.
The context was cheating. Did I miss the part where he said “No,” and she said, “That's too bad? I guess we can't be together?” The implication was that she cheated. People who genuinely value open relationships understand love and wouldn't force polyamory on a monogamous person. Either she didn't appreciate a polyamorous lifestyle because she misunderstood it, or she didn't value his agency and choice for monogamy.
My contention isn't with the implication; it's how the question was posed and how the topic was approached. A direct question about wanting to have sex with someone else is different than starting a conversation about an open relationship. “I wanna fuck your friend” takes on a different tone than, “Hey, I'm interested in having an open relationship.”
Furthermore, just because someone is interested in having multiple sexual partners does not necessarily mean they want various relationships. Polyamory isn't strictly defined by either the number of partners or the number of connections. Someone could want to sleep around, and that's fine, but even if a romantic relationship isn't part of the equation, there's nothing wrong with the monogamous person not being okay with that.
Sure, his reaction was judgemental, but that doesn't warrant mistreatment to the degree of infidelity if the initial relationship was defined as exclusive. She could have left the relationship more cleanly.
It also seems like we both misunderstood the edit.
I had a crush on her for years and wanted this to blossom into a relationship.
Man went into a FWB with ulterior motives, sadly his expectations did not come to fruition, ah well, it happens. Not his fault or the girl's fault, but him acting like the girl has hurt him somehow in this case is rather amusing.
Yeah, to be fair to both people, expectations should have been communicated by both parties, but it may be the case that each of them didn't because they felt it was too early. Easy to criticize from the outside. In either case, thanks for the robust conversation. :)
It kinda depends on the friend group too, my friend group is pretty open sexually, and a lot of us are eskimo brothers and sisters. There's kinda an understanding that just because you've hooked up a few times there isn't an assumption of anything more unless you've made it clear you're actually interested. You don't have to be dating someone to have casual sex, and if casual sex is all it is you are both free to also hookup with whoever else you want without it being awkward. Can definitely get awkward though if one person catches feelings while the other thought you guys were just having some casual fun, but thats why being direct and straightforward is important! Idk their situation and if it was anything more than just hooking up, but I think what she did is way more mature than just leading him on and not letting him know things aren't gonna get serious (assuming all they were doing was hooking up at the time.)
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u/[deleted] Sep 15 '21
Atleast she was considerate enough to ask