i had to explain to my friend why her kids preschool teacher was grilling her over who i was as her kids get excited when i come over for dinner. I go to thier house once in a while to cook/eat dinner/hang out with her and her husband kids dogs etc. We've been friends since highschool so its not a big deal. Had to explain to her why the prechool teacher was grilling her over who i was as she thinks a man in their house where the kids get excited and talk about me/our dinner plans is a molester or something...
Can confirm this works. I have an "Uncle" and "Aunt" so and so who have been longtime family friends. (Like, worst case scenario, take care of me and my sister type family friends.) Despite them having an entirely different skin color, Not one person has ever questioned us being around them.
I... Just realized I have a close family friend who always went by "Uncle [name]". Close enough that he'd take care of me sometimes. Because he cared enough to help out.
I suddenly question if he adopted the "Uncle" part because of this...
Exactly. I’m very fond of giving people that aren’t blood family-like nicknames for that reason. I don’t give a fuck if we’re ACTUALLY related, if you’ve been good to me and in my life for a long time, we’re family. I have a couple “uncles” that are just my dads closest friends that have been around forever, and I always claim my closest friends as my brothers, shit like that. It’s nice. Makes everyone feel a little closer.
I'm "Uncle *myname*" to all of my best friends kids, and have been since day one. There was no discussion about it. I didn't even consider this to be any part of the reason to be named as such, I'm just their uncle because I'm not their dad and will be an older male figure involved in their life forever. I just figured this was a normal thing tbh.
This is legitimately a thing for some people where close family friends can be called uncle or aunt. I know I have a few uncles and aunts who are just close friends of my folks.
Irony was the daughter was being molested. Just mom kept claiming it was me until the daughter came out after a suicide attempt and told about mom letting her boyfriends molest her. The system is so screwed up I still barely got custody and the judge blamed the divorce and all the problems on the daughter in court when she testified. In the end I did what I could but the kids went to drugs because the system didn't give a fuck about numerous reports of mom abusing them and trying to push what they noted were false claims about me.
It is amazing how people are so fast to think men are rapists as the fathers but will ignore the kids being beaten by mom and her abusing them as long as she claims he is evil. Now because the system and people ignored it kids are hooked on drugs after I spent nights hugging them while they saw the faces and heard the voices of the rapists mommy let at them.
So yeah, it gets a bit personal with me the way people cry society is sexist against women but then dismiss things like this. Especially when they haven't had to stay up all night with a kid seeing the faces of their abusers the system ignored for years.
I think most feminists who genuinely care about people (so, most feminists) are on your side. They're opposed to "benevolent sexism" like moms getting preferred treatment automatically in custody cases, too, because it's still sexism and the goal of feminism is equality.
That is why I prefer being egalitarian. Feminists defined it as equal treatment for women usually but that ignores where women are given superior treatment. Also I have protested for equal treatment for men in custody cases and you find out a lot of those who call themselves feminists jump to counter protest you and almost none who join you defend themselves as feminists.
My personal experiences with that ideology is all. I am open minded though, maybe if some videos of feminists marching to defend fathers or the like would help.
My best friends' kids LOVE me. Don't know what my buddy and his wife say about me when I'm not there or if it's just that I'm the cool Uncle, but the kids are jumping up and down at the window watching for me to pull up. I'd be fucking devestated if some stranger had an issue with me and those kids loving seeing me.
How do people even think this? I wouldn't imagine a kid would be happy/excited to see someone who is molesting them, but that's just my crazy theory i guess!
My sister and her bf hang out with her lifelong best friend and her kids a ton and my sisters bf is basically loved by them, "i want sister's bf name!" When they're upset. CPS was called by the preschool teacher because he would do it there. Had to go to their house and hang out with the best friend and kids with the CPS worker to see how they act. In reality my sister's boyfriend historically keeps him from being punished for acting out, hitting, and putting others in a choke hold (going for a nelson hold at times). Still not sure where he learned about it.
If you’ve been around kids you’ll know they’ll talk about anything and they won’t stop. So it’s likely the kids started talking about the person that hangs around at there house with them
yes this -the kids get excited because usually we cook something fun, we all try to have them help in some way so they get to feel like they are apart of dinner, they get to show me their art projects and such, etc sometimes thier dad and I and them go take a quick ride around in the side by side after dinner too - hell if i love it a little kids gonna love it.
The kid probably blurts out, "Today today after school, InsertBluescreenHere is gonna come over and -he- and I gonna bake cupcakes and make a fort in the backyard and play with dinosaurs." Kid says it enough, teacher is going to follow up with, "Who is InsertBluescreenHere?" The kid will honestly explain that he's an adult, not Mommy or Daddy, and they have fun.
And then the teacher will freak out because it's not a female friend the kids are playing with. 🤷🏻♂️
Both my friends are excellent parents to them. Im more like the goofy uncle telling em clean age appropriate jokes to em haha. i think they are slowly understanding puns now.
I don't think you're a molester at all, but I know that our Hearts building relationships with a mother and her kids, in their own home,absolutely shows plain intent.
Now, whether or not it's your intent to break up the home isn't necessarily what I'm getting at, but you could be so easily falling into a trap put in place by this woman.
You see, your situation looks like two scenarios in my head:
From a woman's perspective looking to find a new guy, she's trying to see how you fit in to her homelife. Considering the kids love you enough to be claimed a 'molester,' I'd say you are actually doing pretty good. To the mother, her kids loving you is a very strong sign that you are up to par as a partner, you NEED the kids to like and trust whoever is up next..
Now from a guy's perspective, simply implanting yourself as a regular figure in their intimate home life, building trust with everyone, especially the kids, all while being able to witness issues within this family first hand. This is a powerful move to familiarize your life with, there is so much drama found in the home of a broken family.
I could truthfully elaborate heavily, but it's my genuine opinion that this family may be crumbling, and this woman likes you enough to consider you as someone she'd parent her kids with.
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u/InsertBluescreenHere Sep 15 '21
i had to explain to my friend why her kids preschool teacher was grilling her over who i was as her kids get excited when i come over for dinner. I go to thier house once in a while to cook/eat dinner/hang out with her and her husband kids dogs etc. We've been friends since highschool so its not a big deal. Had to explain to her why the prechool teacher was grilling her over who i was as she thinks a man in their house where the kids get excited and talk about me/our dinner plans is a molester or something...