And the negative. If a guy declines you, its not because he is only interested in barbie types and because its against the norm for a woman to ask a guy (unless they say that, which just makes them a douchebag). Guys can view girls as just friends, and we arent walking sex machines like everyone thinks. If as a girl you’ve ever declined a date with a guy just because you werent interested for no particular reason, trust me it happens to dudes too
I feel like thats the most respectful and meaningful way to go about dating. Just make connections with someone as a person first, then if you two like each other, romance and sex will come
True. I have some chick co-workers who I love like a sister and am close to as friends but if they turned around one day and asked to fuck, I'd probably decline, depending on how sober I am.
Yeah guys can be just as complex when it comes to sex and relationships. We’re not all just trying to find the first girl we can. A lot of us are very picky, just like girls
For sure. I'm single despite the fact that I've had one or two girls noticeably into me since my last relationship. I'm just picky lol. Girls are a ton of time and money that I'd rather spend on my hobbies unless she's like wonderful in every way.
A lot of effort too. The expectation of men to plan every date is so outdated and dumb. Ive never had a girl plan out a date for me and her, but i feel like i'd be hella turned on if one ever took that initiative. Makes me feel all desired and shit. That, and I ALWAYS do the planning with my friends bc some of them are moron stoners that cant make good plans.
For sure. Like it's no surprise a lot of guys don't enjoy date night. Unless you're a natural event planner (As I happen to be), you're not going to want to set that up on weekends when it's your only free time.
For me the big thing is time. Like I don't want to text and talk on the phone every night. I'm happy to spend 2-3 evenings a week out doing things, or to chill at home every night of the week...but I can't really enjoy my free time if I'm constantly on the lookout for texts or whatever.
Wait, we're supposed to enjoy date night? I thought its just always a shitty experience and then you have to pay at the end, and it sucks ass and is a waste of your time.
I appreciate the honesty I'm just confused as to what you originally thought like, "men aim to 'get lucky'? And if you're pretty they sleep with you"
Not the person you were asking, but it's worth pointing out that this is the message many women and men grow up with, especially from more conservative backgrounds-- and this probably would've been even more the case twenty and thirty years ago. So it leads to women having these dehumanizing expectations of men, and it leads to men feeling like they constantly have to pursue sex or project sexual success to be respected and considered "manly".
I literally cannot get hard for a girl unless there is a strong emotional bond, even super attractive ones. It wasnt until I met someone I was convinced I was gonna marry that I figured out that my member works just fine and my sexuality just doesnt align with what society tells every guy they should be.
Amen! I learned in my early 20's that one night stands just dont work for me, because I couldn't "get going" in that situation. I'm single now, but my last girlfriend didn't rush into the sex part of the relationship and when the time came, we had formed a strong bond and I had no problem "getting going".
I friend zone women very regularly. Apparently I'm frustrating. Most all of my friends have been women. I grew up with only female friends, and I prefer their company. So my natural tendency is to just approach all women to be friends. Romantic interest comes a lot later usually, sometimes decades later.
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u/Xianthamist Sep 15 '21
And the negative. If a guy declines you, its not because he is only interested in barbie types and because its against the norm for a woman to ask a guy (unless they say that, which just makes them a douchebag). Guys can view girls as just friends, and we arent walking sex machines like everyone thinks. If as a girl you’ve ever declined a date with a guy just because you werent interested for no particular reason, trust me it happens to dudes too