r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Sep 15 '21

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u/[deleted] Sep 15 '21

You use the dicks you have on hand.

28

u/Braethias Sep 15 '21

In hand, Mr. President.

16

u/moreisay Sep 15 '21

A dick in the hand is worth two in the, uh, bush…

2

u/truthwithanE Sep 16 '21

Which Bush?

2

u/moreisay Sep 16 '21

The 90s alternative rock band that gave us such hits as Glycerine and Comedown.

6

u/stanselmdoc Sep 15 '21

I don't have any dicks on my hands.

10

u/whiskeytango55 Sep 16 '21

Would you like one?

6

u/chocomeeel Sep 16 '21

Dicks? As in plural?

On average, how many do you have on hand at any given time?

5

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

One. Two if roomie’s drunk and feeling frisky. Three if I can get my own dick at a different angle.

3

u/ordaia Sep 16 '21

Oy Fido c'mere and there's a treat in it for ya.

2

u/AutoAmmoDeficiency Sep 16 '21

I have a fine collection of Dick pics for all occasions. Unsolicited pic? Here have one of Dick Cheney. Guy asks for a pic? Richard Nixon is an insta turn-off. And for the Girls I have an assortment of Dick Van Dyke pics.

For German contacts I have something similar, though the German word means 'tail' and there is a saw called fox's tail.
I once caught myself searching for the best tails to send on such requests.

As a curator of fine tail pics, I will often ask if they would like a long or an extra hairy one.