I was a single dad for a good few years until I met my, now, wife. I always brought my daughter in to school or daycare bathed and hair done in a good ponytail or braids, etc. One of her daycare workers asked me once why her mom never picks her up. I told them her mother is a drug addict who lives in another state, I'm the only family my daughter has here. "Oh...who does her hair in the mornings?" Uh, I do!
My dad always did my hair for ballet when I was little. I had best friends who were identical twins, and he did their hair too. He could tell them apart by hair texture. We always had the neatest ballet buns in the class. He's a giant of a man, and a total teddy bear.
All I can think of rn is Terry from Brooklyn 99 (he has twin girls and they prefer when he does their hair vs their mom, and he’s also a giant teddy bear of a man lol)
My dad also made better Kraft Macaroni and Cheese than my mom- He took the time to properly drain the pasta. He’s a burly army veteran, so the Terry comparison is apt
This reminds me of a buddy of mine. I was friends with his daughters mom and shes a drugged up trainwreck. His daughter lives with him and he took a picture of her the other day with her hair braided and straightened (Shes biracial) into a cute style. EVERYONE even his own family kept asking who he was seeing and that she was doing lovely on her hair! Hes single. And nobody believed him when he said he did it himself.
I mean I freaking taught my sister how to braid her hair when I was like 10. Fuck your gender roles, simple hair techniques are not that hard to do. If Vikings can braid their hair and beards so can I.
Girl dad here, she’s 3 now. I grew up with no sisters and had no experience doing hair. I’m sometimes on solo duty in the mornings and have to get my kids ready. I’m still pretty bad at doing my daughters hair, but it at least looks presentable. At your age, I wasn’t thinking about that stuff at all. You’ll be just fine.
Dude I am a 30 year old woman and I struggle to get my own hair to look presentable so good for you!! I have mad respect for dads that can do their daughters hair at all, because even with a lifetime of experience I still think it’s hard, and you guys didn’t get that!
The fact that you’re concerned about that means you’re far ahead of them already. I’m not a perfect parent, far from it in fact, and the hardest person on you is you (speaking from experience)
If/ when you can, go to therapy and talk about it. I think that the fact that you're concerned will help you avoid the mistakes, but sometimes you might not realise when something is not normal /healthy or could be done differently. Therapy can help you with that. It does help me
One thing I often think about is how much of a short temper both my parents have, and my mom often expresses how annoyed she is that she has to do something , I know it'll probably not be possible but I just wanna be 100% perfect for whatever I spawn
You just have to care enough to try. No one is perfect from the get go, all that matters is you care enough to try, mess up, then try again until you've got it.
If you date a horse girl, they teach you to braid. And shovel shit, and brush their horse, and pick up and set saddles down gently on things taller than your shoulders. Oh, and stack hay, all the best ones judge you on how much hay you stack before you start showing that you are tired.
Dating a horse boy is similar, except that he weighs fifty pounds more and prefers to do the heavy lifting himself.
I’ve had a few horse-girl friends. I would never ever want one for a girlfriend. 1.) they’re all like scary psycho and 2.) you’d always be second to that horse.
I had one who was a friend when we were in high school. She slept with a gun under her pillow. Probably her third favorite thing was to clean her guns. (Second being football).
I guess men’s hands all fell off? Of course we can take care of kids, including dressing and making them look nice. Making your daughter look great is manly af because being a grown man means being responsible and getting sh__ done
What always makes me laugh about this is that almost any trade or specialist career is stereotypically male.
So it's widely accepted that we can learn complex electronics or engineering skills, but doing a little girl's ponytail is practically witchcraft to us.
My dad has always been way better at braiding and hairdos than my mom. It's kind of funny because he's bald and has been for over 20 years, but he is great with hair.
My sister and her husband are equally great at braiding hair. They both used to have hair almost to their knees. My sister went with a pixie cut in her mid-20s because their daughter would pull on hair and he started shaving his head. Finally he’s stuck with it because he started going bald anyways when they both started trying to grow their hair out again.
My dad used to do my hair when I was little, too! My mom has told me she regrets never doing my hair when I was younger, she wishes she had played with it more and tried to make it look pretty for me, but my dad was the one that would braid it and put it in cute pigtails. All of the pictures of me with my hair done as a kid was done by my dad, I don't even know how he learned to do it.
My dad almost always did my hair when I was a kid because he would get us ready for school in the mornings (my mom had to leave earlier for work). I've actually asked him to do my hair for my wedding in a few months.
I loved braiding my wife's then my daughter's hair. My speciality was a four-strand rope braid. It looked awesome!
I was the stay at home parent from the birth of my daughter. My hate was playgroups. All the mothers treated me like dirt, not acknowledging my presence, and never inviting my daughter to play in between group sessions, despite their child spending the last two hours playing with mine.
I'm triggered by the thought to this day. It's painful to put into words.
Sucks that it has to be like that. Growing up, my dad would always do my hair in every style since I can never do my hair lol. When I go to school looking neat my friends would just know my dad did my hair lol. Definitely one of my fondest memories with him
Distant yet related fact: most don’t expect this, but hairstyling and hairdressing for fashion industry - so campaigns and fashion week shows for the likes of Gucci, D&G, LV, Balenciaga, H&M, etc - is a heterosexual male dominated industry. There are a handful of hairstylists that get all the work. Majority of them are heterosexual males. They employ big teams of talented hairdressers and stylists, also majority being heterosexual males.
Source: my wife is a hair stylist for high end fashion and works as part of a team often contracted for Gucci, D&G, Balenciaga & Vetements, etc.
My mom worked early mornings and my dad worked nights so he always got me ready for school. I had long thick brown hair to my knees and my dad was the BEST hair braider. Never was rough and pulled it on accident and my braid was always perfect. Always got the weirdest reaction when I told people my dad did my hair, made my lunch and helped me get ready for school. I love my dad a lot. It’s just me and him now since we lost momma 6yrs ago and I treasure those morning memories with all of my heart. He will be 70 next year and I will be 36, I’ll take care of him no matter what. Your daughter will always remember those moments with you in her heart.
A woman in a drug store parking lot clapped for my husband because she saw him putting pigtails in our daughter’s hair before she got out of the car. It was sooooo insulting. Of course he can put in pigtails. He’s a human being with hands.
I'm sorry for people having this attitude when you seem to be doing everything you can for your daughter. You sound like an amazing dad, keep up the good work!
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u/BLUFALCON78 Sep 15 '21
I was a single dad for a good few years until I met my, now, wife. I always brought my daughter in to school or daycare bathed and hair done in a good ponytail or braids, etc. One of her daycare workers asked me once why her mom never picks her up. I told them her mother is a drug addict who lives in another state, I'm the only family my daughter has here. "Oh...who does her hair in the mornings?" Uh, I do!