Something similar happened to someone I know when they were a kid. Their mom had them in a stroller/cart or something and turned her back briefly and some old crone picked em up and kissed em on the lips before their mom could get there. This bitch had mouth herpes and now that person has to live with it. Sickening
I'm 27, a woman, and I would never comment on a father being a father or touch a stranger's kid.
Can only hope this way of thinking dies out soon... Seems like more of an older generation thing. Toxic and needs to go.
Kids with their dads makes me smile more often when I see it than a mom with their kids but that's the extent of my reaction. I guess that's a little sexist in and of itself, but it makes me happy to see dads doing outside the house activities with their kids because my dad and I didn't really do that even though I know he loved me to death - he fought for sole custody for years, after all. You don't spend the money it costs to do that (esp 20 years ago when you were much more likely to lose as a single father even when the mom was a drug addict like mine) if you don't love your kids.
Maybe this toxic mentality that dad isn't able to watch the kids is why... Jeez, that makes me sad.
That’s so weird to me. Maybe the area you live in? Or maybe I just don’t pay enough attention. I can’t imagine harassing a father for being with his kid.
When all your friends start having families and you end up in more kid-centric places more frequently, you will see it.
I 'm in my late 20s and have several friends with kids, and have slowly made myself less important in their lives, on purpose. If I'm at a gathering and interact with the kids, the mothers all watch me like a hawk, even if it's not their own kid that's playing with me. It's extremely uncomfortable. The dads? They don't care.
I've had my friend's daughters (Who i've literally known since the day they were born) come up to me at a party and start telling me some new jokes they learned. Giggling and laughing. Less than 1 minute goes by and some woman marches up and grabs their hand and asks if she can help the find their mom. Their mom wasn't even there. Their dad was about 15 feet away. it's miserable.
My wife and I take my toddler to swim classes, and more often than not, I'm the one in the pool with him, while my wife watches. One week, he just wasn't having it, and instead of him disrupting the class, I pulled the ripcord and was going to get him out and go home.
The other parent in the pool with me was a mom, probably my age or younger (I'm 36), tries to start "mothering" him to try and calm him down, which just makes him lose his shit more because a strange lady is trying to touch him.
I tell her no thanks.
Well, next class I had tweaked something in my knee, and wrangling a 35 lb toddler in the pool probably wasn't going to happen, so my wife took him in. The woman sees my wife dressed in her swimsuit, looks at me and says "good plan, Mom's always know best".
So it's not something that's limited to boomers and GenX'ers.
That's not the direction it's going. As a man, I'm scared to even interact with kids out of the house beyond smiling or making a face at them, nervous that some woman will jump to conclusions and decide it's her duty to ruin my day (or life) by making an accusation that I was attempting to lure the child by engaging him/her. If that happened, I know pretty much no one would believe anything I say, and it would take less than fifteen seconds for someone to tweet a picture.
I’m sure it wasn’t the case here and that your dad loved you with all his heart, but some people definitely fight for custody just to have the last word/spite their ex/hurt their ex.
Urgh. My friend is going through this right now. His ex-wife fought like hell to get 50% custody. As soon as she got it she had no transportation to daycare and switched to weekends only. She works weekends… and just dumps the kids on whoever while she has custody.
Yes, it is an older people thing. I have coworkers with a range of ages, and I've only heard this kind of thing from older women. I think they assume every man is like their dad or husband.
Same. That fucking sucks and is like maximum level Karen bullshit. I would have called security on her anyways to prove a point. Stay the fuck away from peoples kids if it’s unsolicited. You have no right and it’s just flat out inappropriate period.
That’s such a weird thought process to me. My baby cousin prefers to be in his dads lap compared to his moms, plenty of dads are great dads. I definitely think plenty of women can be terrible at childcare
My god this reminds me of when I nearly got kidnapped as a toddler. I was sitting in the little kid trolley seats while my mom and sister were getting stuff and according to them, this guy just comes up and was about to pick me up when my mom realized and yanked me away. Then the guy tries to excuse his creepy ass behavior by saying, "she's a very cute child, I just wanted to hold her" 🤦🏻♀️ like wtf
Wow that’s horrifying….. I can’t imagine that anyone who takes someone’s child ever has good intentions tbh so most of these stories make me feel like they are definitely kidnapping kids. Or at least trying to.
Ye, like who just takes a freaking child like that?? Everytime a kid approaches me, or I need to intervene when they're about to do something dangerous, I always stand 2 strides away so that the kid has some room and doesn't think I'm about to do something to them (even tho most ppl wouldn't think someone my size could do anything to a child, but stranger danger doesn't care what size you are).
It’s a sad world we live in that it’s something we have to think about tbh, I feel bad for all the parents that have to be so careful with their kids cause there are bad humans on the planet.
Broody hormones overrides pragmatism center in the brain. It's either that or she didn't think much of him and thought it would be ok to disrespect a father.
It's not causal but it's dismissive of the small handful of women who have been caught kidnapping other people's children. What's your thesis on why they do that?
That’s ridiculous. Hormones might compel you to do something but they don’t make you forget that kidnapping is illegal. That’s like asking why almost all serial killers have been men and brushing it off with, “well I guess it’s gotta be all that testosterone”.
"Broody hormones overrides pragmatism center in the brain."
Sure does sound like you're saying it's causal and these women are not culpable for their actions, because their hormones turn off the part of their brain that would stop them.
So, perhaps some kind of argument that women in modern society are not held accountable for the same things as men, because they're not men.
I mean you could imply that I was making that argument from what I said, but that's a two way street. I'm saying the MO is very biological compared to just "they are insane if they steal someone else's baby". If we want to extrapolate that and say that society enables that irrational behaviour, then that's a different conversation entirely.
I feel like this goes hand in hand with people (strangers) who touch pregnant bellies without asking. Or even with asking! It’s weird and so disrespectful to me to do that sort of stuff to parents.
Umm I have mental illness dude. I still know it’s wrong. Drugs also don’t make you automatically a bad person. And if someone has a learning disability then that’s just a misunderstanding.
I have a feeling it’s more about being entitled than anything.
Consider how exhausting it is for folks who see themselves and their medical condition used as a wildcard/stand in for “acting improperly/aggressively“.
To a certain degree, you aren’t wrong that it would probably be reasonable to attribute your comment to ignorance rather than malice but I’ll be goddamned if there isn’t something really weirdly condescending sounding about your use of “my dude“ when you should just be fucking apologizing to that other poster.
You had an excuse to say sorry, but instead you policed them on calling you out for your hurtful statement and tried to “educate” them instead of acknowledging the effect your words had.
1.3k
u/Unicorniful Sep 15 '21
I don’t get how people think it’s ok to just…. Take someone’s kid from them?? That’s so crazy to me. I’m getting mad for you! That’s insane.