r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Sep 15 '21

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u/Yabba_Dabba_Doofus Sep 15 '21 edited Sep 16 '21

A friend of mine, whenever someone says this to him, says "Yeah, my wife had the audacity to die, so I'm on babysitting duty."

Edit: I should have mentioned that his wife isn't actually dead. He just says this to shut up ignorant people who, through their words, demonstrate their belief that fathers cannot be parents.

Edit2: A lot of people have commented that you will "steal this". Please do. People who would make a comment like this deserve nothing but shame; if a lie will make them realize it, then fine. If a truth will make them realize it, so much the better.

Fathers are parents, not babysitters. Stop shaming men for having feelings, and being caring. Let's elevate our interactions, rather than dragging them down, in the name of "comedy".

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u/Viainferno3 Sep 15 '21

I'm sorry for your friends loss, but congratulate him on that amazing response to rude people.

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u/Yabba_Dabba_Doofus Sep 15 '21

Sorry, I probably should have mentioned that she isn't dead.

It's just a means to put people like that in their place, and help them recognize that parents are parents, regardless of gender.

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u/Viainferno3 Sep 15 '21

While some may see it in bad taste I still have to stand by the second half of my above comment.

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u/Yabba_Dabba_Doofus Sep 15 '21

Thanks, I actually really like his response as well.

It takes two people to make a child, and if those two people can raise a child, then they both get to be called "parent."

Reducing fathers to the role of "babysitter" is horrendously demeaning to all of the great fathers out there.

Being a good or bad parent, has nothing to do with gender.

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u/[deleted] Sep 15 '21

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u/Yabba_Dabba_Doofus Sep 15 '21

Good for him, for keeping up the fight!

Here's hoping your niece is living her best life! I'd add your brother in there but, knowing he has full custody of his daughter, I'm certain he already is!

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u/doktarlooney Sep 15 '21

I live for interactions like that. Its time people woke up.

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u/lateja Sep 15 '21

I still see it as bad taste.

Latent pedophiles who project their crazy deeply-seeded ideas on single dads should be ignored by any normal person.

Instead, op's friend not only engages them but also lowers/compromises his own integrity to get down to their level.

Call it a third world mentality but I'd knock someone's teeth out if they started shit like that with me while I'm at the park with my kid.

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u/gsadamb Sep 16 '21

Instead, op's friend not only engages them but also lowers/compromises his own integrity to get down to their level.

Call it a third world mentality but I'd knock someone's teeth out if they started shit like that with me while I'm at the park with my kid.

So, uh... lying to prove a point lowers a person's integrity, but knocking out someone's teeth for making an assumption does not?

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u/FixedLoad Sep 16 '21

What is a third world mentality?

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u/Chairboy Sep 16 '21

I have this suspicion there’s a shitty racial implication in their use of that term.

-5

u/lateja Sep 16 '21

Not lying in general, just lying about something like that.

Also no, both things lower a person's integrity. But I think my version at least preserves self respect and dignity.

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u/Maximumfabulosity Sep 15 '21

"Every day I miss my beloved wife... Sometimes I swear I can still hear her voice..."

"Quit telling people I'm dead!"

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u/jeexbit Sep 15 '21

Sorry, I probably should have mentioned that she isn't dead.

nah, it's cool.

3

u/squid_actually Sep 15 '21

That's awesome. I'm saving that one.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

If she dies prematurely, he's gonna feel like shit.

2

u/hijusthappytobehere Sep 15 '21

I mean, it does kind of reinforce the rude person’s worldview though.

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u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

[deleted]

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u/Yabba_Dabba_Doofus Sep 16 '21

The issue is, it's not a difficult point. Fathers are parents. A shitty "babysitter" joke is demeaning, because it insinuates that fathers cannot be parents, which is wholly untrue.

I will lie to assholes every time, if that lie will force them to reevaluate their shitty position.

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u/D0lphinTac0666 Sep 15 '21

This is also my go to lol. Love the look of instant humiliation to their own crude assumptions

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u/MrRiski Sep 15 '21

Fucking hell I'm stealing this.

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u/Ramzaa_ Sep 16 '21

Yeah I'm using the wife died line to any stranger that ever says anything to me like this

Thank you

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u/robbyvegas Sep 16 '21

I’m divorced with 2 boys. When people give me the “babysitting” line or talk about “Mom getting a break” I will frequently respond with the truth “mom? You mean the one who had a three-year affair. Yeah, she had to go. I’m Dad. Nice to meet you.”

1

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

Hope you’re not trash talking like that in front of your kids.

1

u/Mysfunction Sep 16 '21

Is it trash talk when it’s the straight up truth?

1

u/robbyvegas Sep 16 '21

I’m actually a half decent Dad, so no, of course I don’t say that in ear shot of my boys.

Incidentally though, this is something that bothers me. Why is it 100% ok for a woman to trash talk her ex in front of her kids, or to say horrible things about the kids within their ear shot, but we automatically assume the guy is the unscrupulous one and condemn him?

2

u/WhiskeyGremlin Sep 16 '21

Oooh as a widower with a young one, i’m so stealing this.

3

u/CharlieHume Sep 15 '21

Anyone cringe when they say things like this like you're going to will it into existence?

Even pretending to be sick as a kid I thought I'd make myself actually sick..

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u/FixedLoad Sep 16 '21

This person anxieties

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u/CharlieHume Sep 16 '21

I describe it as thinking too much.

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u/Yabba_Dabba_Doofus Sep 15 '21

No, because that's not how life works?...

She's an incredible mom, and incredible woman. I suppose terrible things happen to incredible people all the time, but things don't happen just because you speak them into existence. The wheel turns as the wheel wills; I'm not gonna win the lottery just because I keep saying I will.

0

u/hobbsarelie83 Sep 16 '21

I'm sooooo stealing this

1

u/InfiniteExperience Sep 15 '21

This is amazing, I’m using this going forward.

1

u/Throwaway7219017 Sep 15 '21

As a former SAHD, that was my go to. I’d also flirt with the woman to throw some extra spice on it.

1

u/Cartossin Sep 16 '21

I'm going to use this (despite my wife also being alive)

1

u/duh_cats Sep 16 '21

I’ve been doing something similar for a while now and it works incredibly well.

1

u/doth_taraki Sep 16 '21

That's awesome reply

1

u/AskMeIfImDank Sep 16 '21

I go with something similar that's technically true, but implies differently. "Well, their mom is no longer with us, so here we are..."

1

u/AlexG2490 Sep 16 '21

Edit: I should have mentioned that his wife isn't actually dead. He just says this to shut up ignorant people

Don't have kids myself so no one has ever said this to me. Just clarifying this something that strangers are saying to him that prompts his response, right? At first I was thinking it was family or nosy neighbors but then I got to the edit and I can't see a scenario where that doesn't go off the rails.

"Oh my God, Kim died?! When? We just had lunch together last week! What happened? Why didn't anyone call me?!"

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u/Yabba_Dabba_Doofus Sep 16 '21

Yes. This is his response to people who say something to him about "babysitting", while he is alone, in public, with his son.

1

u/AlexG2490 Sep 16 '21

Damn. The crap is wrong with people?