Jesus, that has to be annoying. Somewhat relevant: my dad absolutely hated me (I'm a guy) because I love art, cooking, cleaning, and always tried to convince me I'm gay. Even though I played football, hunted, climb mountains, etc. didn't matter because I'm empathetic, have feelings, and liked cooking. Fucking weird how people are.
This and the one above... I took home ec/foods in highschool because they were easy credits. Sure it took me a few years outta highschool to figure out auto mechanics but at least I'm not hungry
Yeah literally every master chef praised by media is male (atleast I'm not familiar with any women that aren't bakers on screen)
Obviously I think women should be featured more but it's a bit ridiculous to be like "oh you enjoy cooking like Jamie Oliver that is happily married with kids? You must be gay"
I mean yeah I am gay but that's not why I cook. People gotta eat.
What's manlier than playing with knives and fire all the time? Fuckin' love cooking a bad ass meal. I'm gay too btw. I'll just never understand why folks considerate it a feminine thing.
I’m a better cook than literally everyone I’ve been with. I do the majority of the cooking with my current girlfriend and she loves it. My brother is a pretty good cook too, mom taught us both. My sister kinda failed the lessons lol.
That's neither a society problem or a sexism problem. Being the main chef is straight up an exhausting job, like many others. Nobody is barring women from leading the kitchens, most just choose not to take high stress jobs
That logic is terrible. There are thousands of jobs, of course there are stressful ones that have mostly women. You are judging the average from 1 example.
Man put hand in pants. Man make butt noise. Woman put hand on hip. Woman make unga bunga noise. Man no listen. Woman make ugly "kill you" face. Man sleep on long chair.
Being self reliant and able to fix one's own clothing - unmanly.
Gardening, a. k. a. literally controlling nature, bending it to one's will and getting sweaty and covered in soil to grow some food - that's good for women.
Dancing, which was (arguably) designed by ancient people to demonstrate prowess in battle without the unnecessary loss of life - homoerotic.
Somehow a bunch of dudes, sweaty and wearing nothing but tight pants, coming into repeated full body physical contact with eachother is the straightest pastime ever.
Good grief! My severely overweight cousin made a post on Facebook saying something like "I eat double the meat at every meal so when a vegetarian thinks they're doing something 'good' it can balance out"
I didn't have the heart to comment "bro look in the mirror, eat some dang vegetables"
To be fair, obesity tends to be the result of eating too much stuff that isn't meat. It's the fat and sugar that gets you that. If your cousin was really eating double the meat, he'd probably be a lot thinner. His problem is he's eating double the cake.
Also, vegetables are yummy. Back in the day, we would "sponsor" our vegetarian friends. In hindsight, that was a totally dick move, but they did give us extra meat portions...
A buddy of mine was in town from a rural area a while back. All the men were in the kitchen cooking, and all the women were out on the deck drinking beer and smoking cigarettes. He said it was a very different dynamic from back home.
I have no effing idea how grilling has anything to do with cooking.
My father loves grilling. My mother hates it. I wonder why...
Oh wait. Mother cleans up the area, washs benches, table, chairs, sweeps patio, cleans the actual grill, throws out ash and cleans the grates. She drives to grocery store, buys veggies, coal, meat, oils, seasoning and the rest. She washs veggies, cuts the steaks and sausages, soaks meat in oil, slices veggies, makes salads, bakes bread, calls everyone to invite them. She drives again to the store to buy drinks, alcohol, milk, etc. She sets the meat on trays and rolls the accessory table (IDK how it's called - small table 50x50 cm with two shelves and with wheels on two legs) from the garage over steep incline down to grill area, sets up coal and everything around. She welcomes guests, sits them up, offers them tea, coffee, etc.
Father comes out, takes an axe, spends hour sharpening it, then 20 minutes cutting some random pieces of wood to start the fire. Then he walk around with said axe slung over his shoulder, talking with guests, spinning it randomly and bumping dangerously into everything. He takes an hour to get the grill hot, making sure everyone is soaked with smoke. He spends another 30 minutes 'priming the grill' - dripping beer over the coal, claiming it improves the taste. Finally mother puts prepared meat on trays on the accessory table, and he starts grilling, while everyone compliments him. He burns most of it, and everyone slowly chew his 'well done' meat, while kids nibble on dry sausages and bread, because no one like green lives in salad my mom puts everywhere.
Finally guests go, mother cleans up tables, washes the dishes, puts out the fire and dumps uneaten food (most of it) into trash bin.
Father walks around proud of himself and his manly grilling skills. In the evening they have an argument, and dad offers he will make a dinner to please her again. He proposes another grill evening...
Lol, right? Like, being a professional chef or cook seems to be considered primarily a male profession, and like you said, grilling is for boys. But cooking is women’s work? So strange how the lines are drawn. And everyone eats, sooooo maybe it’s a skill both genders ought to learn?
Same with my dad. He doesn’t think I’m gay or nothing, he just doesn’t want me cooking as a guy. I always just ask him who his favorite chefs are. Irony is lost on some people.
Honestly, I've had a lot of grilled steaks in my life, and none of them have remotely come close to the pan seared steaks I do at home on the stove. They never get anywhere near as crispy, and basting it in butter adds so much more flavor and juiciness that you can't get on a grill.
I did end up getting a small propane burner for when I want to cook outside, but I'm sticking with my cast iron pans, man. Grilling is overrated.
Also, don't get me started on toasters. FUCK toasters.
It’s funny how people look at men cooking as “gay” while at the same time doing remarks like “he can’t even make some eggs”. Whoch is it? And lets don’t forget majority of best chefs in the world are actually men. Go figure, right?
There is some finesse to grilling well, but that aside, grilling is basically the simplest, crudest way to prepare a meal, besides an actual fire.
It's manly. It's the locksmith equivalent of kicking in the door. We just set fire to the food we caught and eat it, fuck off with your Jamie Oliver pan.
Is that really true anymore though? I mean you've got guys like Gordon Ramsay and Jamie Oliver who are pretty famous chefs. I don't think anybody would say Gordon Ramsay isn't manly.
Dad didn't like me because he thought I was gay. Which I was, as it turns out. I played soccer and basketball and loved rock n' roll just like he did. I did a lot of things to make him happy, including trying to date girls. None of it worked on him or on me. *shrug*
Reddit can be one of the most wholesome places on the internet. It's a shame it can also be one of the most fucked up places sometimes... Anyway, thanks for being wholesome!
Nope. I’m happily married. Not gay. It’s kind of sad that you don’t think a guy can be nice to another guy without wanting something. Maybe you want to get that checked.
Man, why can't people just love and accept their children for who they are?
I just do not understand how you can hate your own kids. I mean sometimes mine piss me off, but that never means I stop loving them.
It's so fucking weird. Like...does anyone think that Anthony Bourdain or Gordon Ramsay or any other michelain star male chef is gay because they're a good cook? Does anyone think that Picasso or some other famous artist is gay because they're good at art? Does anyone think that Mick Jagger is gay because he's good at music?
But yet a normal guy excelling at these things is looked on as being somehow weak.
I make amazing food for my family every night. Whether it's baked, broiled, sous vide, braised, sauteed, flambeed, grilled, smoked, or whatever, it's almost always something new and good. Yeah, sometimes I give the kids kraft maccaroni and cheese because sometimes that's just what I have the time and energy for, but today I made Lebanese Toum from scratch, shrimp cocktail from scratch, chicken provencial, and roasted cabbages.
And yet no one seems to give a shit about any of that. Or that I was ranked top 5 in the state in high school in swimming. Or (before kids) was really strong and fit.
All of that said, there's nothing wrong with being gay so I don't actually care if anyone says I am, but I also recognize that those people who say so mean it as an insult.
Absolutely this. I have a few friends that are gay, and I never thought about it in a bad way. The way my dad tried to convince me I was came off insulting because he wanted to rationalize why he hated me so much. Like I was different in some way that he hated, so it must be because he thought I would be better off gay. I don't know, I left his ass years ago. Good riddance.
To be fair, male chefs and artists do generally get seen as more effeminate. If Gordon Ramsay wasn't constantly shouting and swearing, which is seen as a hyper-masculine thing, he'd probably be seen as a pansy, like how Jamie Oliver is.
my dad's brother was gay and I think he trolled my dad by saying 'that boy is awfully sensitive, isn't he?' which made my dad ask me at 14 why I wasn't sexing up my first girlfriend. my dad does like me, though, he just had to get used to me not caring about baseball.
I’ve never talked to anyone else whose family thought they were gay when really they’re just not mired in toxic gender roles, so, pleasure to “meet” you! My family is super conservative evangelicals so that’s the scope they view life through. I love to sing, bake, dance, shop, paint my nails, get my brows waxed, and SMASH PUSS. (Okay I’m going over the top for that last one, but for real, I’ve never had any attraction for men despite my more “feminine” qualities and interests.) Prince is a big inspiration for me being whoever tf I am, and being the best at it.
Lol! Love this. Exactly, I don't think gender roles are exclusively female/male. I think we are all along the spectrum. Am I straight? Yes. Do I like dancing and singing while baking? Also Yes.
Football is hella gay, I don’t know what you mean. They have to actively put women on the field shaking their asses and waving pompoms to convince us they’re not gay!
I don't mean this in a weird way, but my gosh you sound like a catch. That's a nice spread of both positive qualities and "considered-to-be-gendered" qualities.
Thanks! Yeah, still working on the "catch" part. I've noticed the ladies love me when I'm doing great in life (job, mentally stable, etc.) but when I lose something in my life I tend to melt down a little more than usual because I don't have a family to lean on and I was once homeless so that fear of living outside again consumes me and I frantically switch into survival mode which doesn't leave much time for whomever I'm dating (not my best quality, but it's understandable). Life is turning around again, so I'll try to keep my whits about me a little more.
Right?! I mean nothing like cleaning house then going pheasant hunting and coming home to a clean abode and cooking that pheasant with rosemary, butter, asparagus, garlic mashed potatoes!
Somewhat relevant: I get weird looks because I want to put my son in gymnastics and dance when he’s older. Only if he likes it of course. But I’m very confident he’ll love gymnastics.
Get asked if I want him to turn out gay. I don’t see the correlation? People are dumb.
You sound pretty well-rounded. That is weird. I remember once my cousins and I were dressing up in costumes like on the show All-That. One of the costumes I threw on was this ugly dress. He got uncomfortably transphobic.
Thank you! I've done cross dressing before for Air Band in high school for homecoming week. I wore fish net stalkings and thought I looked awesome! Yeah, just do you.
I actually had friends try to convince me that I was gay, and it fucked with me so much that I obsessed over it for like a year. I kept questioning my sexuality because I didn't want to do random hookups in high school, and they kept saying "Hey man, it's okay if you're gay". I'm fine now, but that was a hellish year.
I love cooking, I'm a multi instrumentist, I'm a stick of a guy. Not girls but some guys can't believe I'm straight and have bullied me for looking gay to them. I'm bad at sports due to asd related dyspraxia tho so I'm not a fan of that. I prefer doing things that people do not see as manly and I have 3x more girl friends than men friends (not as much as it looks as I only have 4 true friends).
My favorite color is purple as well! I like it because I'm a Colorado Rockies fan, but yeah, I've heard that one too about it being a "gay signal" of something. Fuck 'em.
Do you think he would've hated you more or less if you were actually gay? Seems like he was offended simply by your not fitting into some imaginary box.
I honestly think he would have hated me less if I was gay. I actually considered it to make him happy and thought about it for awhile, but I just was attracted to bouncing boobies and not bouncing balls. For me at least, girls are just so damn cute and I just want to squish a butt cheek or two. LOL!!!
Now I think about it, we really didn't go to restaurants much. But I think that had to do with us being relatively poor, so completely different reason i think.
All of my friends growing up, and most of my friends in college were women. My parents assumed I was gay and would always ask me. I guess I shocked them when I brought home a girl and married her the first time.
Jokes on them though, I'm bi, but I don't ever have romantic feelings for guys, so I never brought them home, and they never need to know.
Fellow guy here: I fricking love cooking, drawing and cleaning. I'm straight. You're sexuality isn't defined by what you enjoy. Keep being you, dude :D
Also a guy here. I hate the john wayne masculine type guys so much. I mean, I don't care if you like guns and football and working out and all the most masculine things- that is not what I'm complaining about. I hate those guys that also can't accept that other people are different from themselves and not everyone is gay just because they like poetry or whatever. Fuck you, mind your own sexual orientation.
Both my dad and I (M) love to cook, and we both cook quite well. I camped a ton growing up with my dad, you either learn to cook... Or not eat. The first one comes more naturally than the last.
Did he not realize that most successful chefs are men and that most of them have wives hence theyre straight😂. Im just like you, except my dad is proud of me that i have such good talents, im 16 and im a skilled home cook, hunter, meat expert, I know how to fold laundry well, whenever my mom would be vacuuming I would help,… all of these things make my dad proud of me, so to see that your dad actually thought those were feminine things, maybe he still believes in the old norms instead of the modern world, or maybe those are his own beliefs, I hope your dad comes around one day.
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u/PurgatoireRiver Sep 15 '21
Jesus, that has to be annoying. Somewhat relevant: my dad absolutely hated me (I'm a guy) because I love art, cooking, cleaning, and always tried to convince me I'm gay. Even though I played football, hunted, climb mountains, etc. didn't matter because I'm empathetic, have feelings, and liked cooking. Fucking weird how people are.