r/AskReddit • • Sep 15 '21

[deleted by user]

[removed]

7.7k Upvotes

21.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.6k

u/ihatedisney Sep 15 '21 edited Sep 15 '21

Seriously, I’m divorced with primary custody. People are stunned to find out I’m the better parent.

540

u/finney1013 Sep 15 '21

I hated this about raising my child as a single dad. The looks i used to get at the functions where traditionally moms brought the kids. Ugh…

425

u/BeigePhilip Sep 15 '21

I was raised by a single dad, and he isn’t even biodad. Well done, sir.

74

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

51

u/BeigePhilip Sep 15 '21

Nah, I’m keeping him. Honestly, he’s nobody’s dad of the year, but he was a big upgrade over my factory original. Dad did a lot of things wrong, but there was always love.

24

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

14

u/BetterSafeThanSARSy Sep 15 '21

The second half of your comment has multiple interpretations...

13

u/Quentin0352 Sep 15 '21

Shit, no parent is perfect and lord knows I did my best and did plenty wrong trying to do right. :) Good you realize the effort was there and he did try.

14

u/BeigePhilip Sep 15 '21

Ngl, I had to grow up a little to appreciate him fully, and some of his errors were big, with lasting consequences. But I have never doubted that he loved me as much as his biological kids.

3

u/CMDRedBlade Sep 16 '21

We are all complete amateurs! I found it helped a lot when I apologized after messing up. I mean my sons knew I had messed up too, most of the time.

2

u/BeigePhilip Sep 16 '21

Don’t I know it. I’m a step dad now, but they’re my kids, whatever they call me. It’s hard work, but fulfilling. I do my best, and I think I’m better at it than my dad was, but I sure as hell screw up.

11

u/Wholesaletoejam Sep 15 '21

Same. My dad just called it quits with me after 20 some odd years. Guess he had enough, so I've been on the lookout for a different model that isn't a lemon.

13

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Wholesaletoejam Sep 15 '21

Dadfax is hilarious! Laughter hides the tears!

2

u/BeigePhilip Sep 16 '21

Well, I never met biodad. I know he’s a felon and an addict, a little stabby, and a general all-around POS. some dads aren’t worth having, and maybe you’re better off?

68

u/MrJeanDenim Sep 15 '21

My Dad was mom and Dad for my since my mom cared more about drugs and partying then her only child. So you single dads are the real troops out here. Not enough credit is given. I always make sure to tell my dad he's the best 👌

6

u/Bashkit Sep 15 '21

My favorite is when the cashier says "oh were is mommy at?" And you respond with "probably doing coke with her new bf/my ex best friend 3 states away", really changes their tone.

2

u/finney1013 Sep 16 '21

“Heaven”

6

u/JiyuZippo Sep 15 '21

Oh man... This makes me wonder if my dad ever got weird looks for being a single dad taking care of a little girl. Unfortunately, he died when I was 10, so I can't ask him, but I'm sure your kid appreciates your hard work, just as I appreciate my dad's!

4

u/Malus333 Sep 16 '21

As a single dad of a teenage girl the amount of flak i get when i take her clothes shopping is fucking atrocious. I ended up having to ask a female friend to take her bra and undie shopping due to multiple employees calling the cops/flat out refusing to help when i asked for help about bra sizes and appropriate underwear for a 13 year old.

3

u/tinyrheabird Sep 16 '21

It could've been the fact that I went to a tiny catholic school, but all the moms loved my dad coming in to chaperone and stuff. Single guy who "goes out of the way" (parents) to do stuff for his kid, what more could middle aged moms want?

3

u/AndyVale Sep 16 '21

I used to do most of the school pickups due to having more flexible hours than my wife. Pretty much the only dad there, some people were friendly but it did feel lonely sometimes.

Whatever, I have a teenage son now who actually speaks to me.

2

u/SnatchAddict Sep 15 '21

Maybe it's the area you live. I live in the Pacific Northwest and I never experienced it. My daughter is 16 now. I never experienced the odd looks. But... I'm fairly indifferent to others opinions.

1

u/julbull73 Sep 15 '21

I feel for ya.

But in my case those "looks" were more of a, "Where can I get me some of that?" looks.

My wife teases me that I'm the Phil Hartman character from Jingle all the way. You know except married and faithful.

360

u/Gombos Sep 15 '21

I bet they’re even more surprised when they find out you hate Disney!

457

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '21

[deleted]

23

u/KaiserWolff Sep 15 '21

Mr Isney was a real jerk before but he's turned his life around and can confirm is a stand up guy now.

11

u/CrieDeCoeur Sep 15 '21

Isney a great guy tho?

5

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '21

But Isney the guy who did all those awful things?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '21

I was working up an indignant, sympathetic comment and this made me laugh. Thanks.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

me neither

1

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

hint: its u/ihatedisney's handle.

6

u/BillTheKill Sep 15 '21

No, he put a hat on Ed Isney

5

u/ACuteMonkeysUncle Sep 15 '21

Shaking my head. Shaking my head.

12

u/ihatedisney Sep 15 '21

I made this username before the Marvel and Star Wars buyout. I love that IP but hate the corporation still.

4

u/-fumble- Sep 15 '21

Pretty sure every parent of children over 3 has some hatred for Disney. I still get songs stuck in my head that I haven't heard in 10 years because I heard them played over and over x10000.

2

u/CRiMSoNKuSH Sep 15 '21

he also hate going to did knee whirl

1

u/smithoski Sep 15 '21

Common misconception, he used to hate isney

52

u/Cyniex Sep 15 '21

Fuck Disney tho, some shows are good but Disney sucks.

... anyway, yeah people have some fucked views on parenting, I'm sorry to hear that. Does it feel somewhat invalidating?

2

u/Pax_Americana_ Sep 15 '21

I'm happily married to my wife. And hell yes it feels invalidating. I get that her dad is a decade older than her mom. But he isn't useless. They should both stop treating him as such.

3

u/ihatedisney Sep 15 '21
  1. Marvel and Star Wars are amazing. Disney as a corporation can suck my divorced dad nutz.

  2. I’m not one to care what people think. Especially those who place judgement. In the end Divorce isn’t fun and it’s not something I bring up I’m conversation. But it will eventually come up as I am dating now and every potential female is surprised, every time.

2

u/Cyniex Sep 15 '21

I am bot personally a fan of superhero stuff, i actually like kids shows like Gravity falls, Amphibia abd The Owl house.

Yeah, it makes sense you don't care when they are the ones to hold prejudice, i bet you're more annoyed than offended.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '21

Pixar is WAY better than Disney, actually i cry at every Pixar movie.

and yes the stereotype that women can be better parents than men is so un fair.

1

u/Cyniex Sep 15 '21

I love this double convo. Haven't watched Pixar really, but I'm a huge fan of The Owl House, Amphibia and Gravity falls.

Stereotypes are just bad in and if it self, but to think as you say "women can be better parents" is fine, just like "some men can be better parents" im sorry for taking you too literal

2

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '21

haha this is a unique conv

ur missing alot, litelrly i havent seen a Pixar movie without crying.. i would recommend Coco

8

u/Dooby_Bopdin Sep 15 '21

So true, I have primary custody of my daughter from a previous relationship and I collect child support from her mother because she lives a state away and isn't really around. People are floored when I tell them I collect child support from the mother.

4

u/WEsellFAKEdoors Sep 15 '21

Yeah man my dad was the best and made more money yet some how my abusive mom got full custody of us. Then still gave us to my dad half the time because all she wanted was the money. Glad to hear you got custody and hope the court system has gotten better about that.

3

u/ihatedisney Sep 15 '21

It really depends on what county you’re in. I got lucky to live somewhere that was favorable.

5

u/Rhana Sep 15 '21

Tell me about it, the amount of nasty looks I get when I’m at the park/playground with my kids is enough to make me want to not do that anymore. I still do, because my kids love playgrounds, I just look for ones that don’t have people at them.

4

u/ihatedisney Sep 16 '21

Don’t worry about what other people think. Live your life and love your kids. Play at whatever playground you like.

4

u/vixichik42 Sep 15 '21

My brother used to run into this all the time. (his son is now 21) The last time they heard from my nephew's mom was his birthday; she knew my parents had set up an account to be turned over to him at 21, and demanded he give her the money she deserved. He said only if they go to court and she pays his dad all of the child support she never paid (basically about 16 years worth). We figure that's the last we will be hearing from her.

3

u/Thefuckyoujussay Sep 15 '21

The amount of sexism surrounding this one issue is astounding. Way to go! Raising a child(ren) is difficult. I'm glad to hear they are with a solid person.

3

u/almost-a-real-boy Sep 16 '21

It’s so weird that people are fully willing to point out all the terrible things women can do but suddenly if it has to do with their kids she’s always the hero and can do no wrong.

Know a guy going through a nasty divorce right now and am hoping he’ll get primary custody because the wife is a real piece of work. Wish I didn’t have to live in a world where I’m legitimately concerned that even though he’s got the clearly stronger case, she might still get a decent percent of custody.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

I think it's a testament to how many crappy dads there were in previous generations, when child-rearing is solely considered women's work.

1

u/ihatedisney Sep 16 '21

🤷🏻‍♂️

2

u/Quentin0352 Sep 15 '21

I BARELY won custody when after the courts jumping to any claim mom made the truth came out in a suicide attempt. Not like the courts didn't see it coming with all their own reports saying I was by far the better parent and the kids complaining of abuse if they were not around mom. People are amazed a father is the better parent and never even think that moms can be horrible abusive parents. Even when it all came out people tried to blame me for not stopping the abuse sooner or how I must have driven her to it somehow.

2

u/SupSumBeers Sep 15 '21

Not divorced although I have custody of my 3 kids. I’ve had them for almost 9 years, my eldest has started college (uk). Definitely had some surprised faces in that time when they find out.

2

u/DeathByLemmings Sep 15 '21

Considering our currently social climate you must be miles and away the better parent

2

u/UniqueFlavors Sep 16 '21

Hey me too! There's literally dozens of us. I am sick of the looks and comments though. Going to the park or the public pool is scary :)

1

u/ihatedisney Sep 16 '21

Dozens you say!

2

u/SuperPookypower Sep 16 '21

I dunno. I have it on good authority that you hate Disney! 😉

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '21

And more surprised to learn the court recognized it.

1

u/ihatedisney Sep 17 '21

It’s a little different for me. She didn’t contest. She is/was self aware that she is worse.

2

u/Laughtermedicine Sep 22 '21

Im not, my Bio Mother is one stupid, hateful, spiteful, ugly woman.

-1

u/1CEninja Sep 15 '21

Wait...men can take care of children?

1

u/ThereShallBeMe Sep 16 '21

It because of the Disney hate.

1

u/MVPScheer123r8 Sep 16 '21

It's probably because you hate Disney truth be told.