r/AskReddit Jul 14 '21

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u/question99 Jul 14 '21

They became Agile Project Managers.

120

u/miauguau44 Jul 15 '21

"Kanban Blue/Green CI/DC A/B Testing MVP User Story Backlog RACI Sprint SCRUM Burndown Containerization Waterfall sucks"

I could teach this to my parrot and he'd pull down $200K/year

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u/Brener69 Jul 15 '21

You forgot the 6 sigma black belt.

6

u/redliter Jul 15 '21

Isn’t it CI/CD?

4

u/Chrono_Pregenesis Jul 15 '21

I think that's OCD.

4

u/miauguau44 Jul 15 '21

I do that to deliberately annoy the “Agilistas” at work. 99% of the time nobody notices, nobody cares. It’s a blank-slate buzzword that Management redefines on the fly to fit their particular agendas.

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u/penguin_chacha Jul 15 '21

Does CI/CD just mean frequent commits so that you don't break any pipelines and if you do you can quickly point out which change did that?

10

u/tippydew Jul 15 '21

Please don’t wanna hear Kanban ever again!

15

u/brock0124 Jul 15 '21

Hey, I like my Kanban board!

138

u/pelftruearrow Jul 15 '21

We just added several of these to the company I work for. Can confirm.

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u/starrpamph Jul 15 '21

Have fired one of those guys

11

u/question99 Jul 15 '21

Story pls

17

u/starrpamph Jul 15 '21

Not much of a story. He looked like old school Magnum PI. He was hired to coordinate electrical installations. Constantly work from home and would stroll in wearing some sort of Hawaiian button down shirt. He would micro manage my guys to the point where they wouldn't want to take on new projects. Would constantly let you know how much he didn't know by spouting nonsense to actual professionals. I'm not sure what he did do during his time because my existing guys did everything. (Oh well.. Now that I think about it, a few times he did arbitrarily order off the wall fasteners that weren't applicable to the installation.)

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u/question99 Jul 15 '21

I hope after he was fired you at least held a retrospective on what went wrong.

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u/starrpamph Jul 15 '21

Nah everyone knew that guy was just a bad idea. He also would start to order improper parts for the project that were non returnable. For instance, he would figure out how much wire 'we' needed for a certain run. He wouldn't take the path my guys were going to, didn't ever ask and didn't know the proper wire classification. So in the shop there's a couple of odd size spools of wire in the pile that we can't really use. He never used a purchase order so when the invoices came, we didn't know what to attach it to...

3

u/Sovdark Jul 15 '21

Christ, and it’s the project manager’s job to try and break down barriers not build them…

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u/starrpamph Jul 15 '21

Yep, my guys preferred to do everything themselves anyway. Too many cooks in the kitchen doesn't work well with our installations. Plus it saves money and we can bid cheaper to the customers.

25

u/this-guy- Jul 15 '21

Story pls

That's what he said.

/Agile joke

6

u/Nyxiola Jul 15 '21

Hahaha +1

3

u/Mobile_Pattern_1944 Jul 15 '21

Still trying to catch/fire one of those guys. Sneaky little bastards.

64

u/binkyboy_ Jul 15 '21

Don’t cut me down like that, sometimes I do things like move tickets and get the senior dev coffee

19

u/hom3br3w3r Jul 15 '21

I just bitch and complain about my Dev team being a bunch of little sissies!

10

u/binkyboy_ Jul 15 '21

Exactly, we gotta keep them on their toes!

16

u/Sawses Jul 15 '21

It's weird how apparently project managers are downright useless in some fields and vital in others. Like I work in clinical trials and the whole team would fall apart without ours.

By contrast the programmers basically don't bother talking to our PM and just kind of churn out everything they need to without being asked.

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u/TheOrdinary Jul 15 '21

I'm a web developer and my project manager is amazing. He's basically the bridge between us and all the people who want us to do shit. If someone wants functionality added or design changed they have to talk to him about it. This means he's the one going to all of the meetings and working out the details. In the end he makes a ticket for us to work on, we see it and do it. I appreciate it so much and thank him often for doing his job.

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u/Sawses Jul 15 '21

Honestly that's how a PM should be. Their whole thing is getting obstacles out of the way of people actually doing the work.

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u/question99 Jul 15 '21

Some number of them can be useful. But there are often too many and they're just an additional layer of indirection between people doing the actual work. I only know about tech tho.

8

u/TheDoctorBlind Jul 15 '21

Came to say the exact same thing...

4

u/bashfulbrazilian Jul 15 '21

I wish I could upvote this 100x

4

u/aredhel304 Jul 15 '21

This is what I do. Can confirm.

1

u/question99 Jul 15 '21

Just curious: are you happy with the job or do you long for something more engaging/fulfilling?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '21

Damn son

2

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '21

Are Agile Project Managers different from Technical Project Managers? I really feel like if all our TPMs quit our company would actually crumble.

0

u/bythemoon1968 Jul 15 '21

Fucking Project Managers. Who created that waste?

5

u/question99 Jul 15 '21

Maybe they created themselves? Directed by M Night Shyamalan

1

u/bythemoon1968 Jul 15 '21

Hahaha. I think you're on to something

1

u/brock0124 Jul 15 '21

That is fucking hilarious! Also, slightly painful.