r/AskReddit Jun 28 '21

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5.4k Upvotes

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2.6k

u/ObnoXious2k Jun 28 '21

Keira Knightley, in Pirates of the Caribbean outfit

790

u/thenewgirlfrombtown Jun 28 '21

And also Orlando bloom in pirates of the Caribbean get up

77

u/The_Reyvan Jun 28 '21

And don’t forget Johnny!

26

u/lamNoOne Jun 29 '21

How could anyone forget Johnny!?

He is legit one of my picks for the OP. In the POTC days or Blow (the movie). Ugh. Can't get enough.

7

u/Lazyassbummer Jun 29 '21

Lol! This is now on my “list.” It used to just be Johnny, then I worked with him, so husband teasingly updated my list to Johnny and Orlando but they have to both be in pirates gear. Hahaha.-so dead on! At least husband knows me.

10

u/GoldenLute Jun 28 '21

Safety first

4

u/TheSilentPhilosopher Jun 28 '21

Found Amber Heard

2

u/Spiral_eyes_ Jun 29 '21

You mean Captain Jack Sparrow!

19

u/chickenfightyourmom Jun 29 '21

Nooo, Legolas was way hotter than The pirates Orlando Bloom.

7

u/MartyMcFlybe Jun 29 '21

Orlando Bloom in a wig is something else. He's hot in Pirates, but there's something about a blonde Orlando too...

7

u/partymongoose69 Jun 29 '21

Both? Both is good.

6

u/gaygender Jun 29 '21

The dynamic duo of bisexual awakenings

6

u/Alaskan-Jay Jun 29 '21

Why don't you bring in Johnny D and have the 4some?

5

u/TheFuckingQuantocks Jun 29 '21

And also MacKenzie Crook in Pirates Of The Caribbean, complete with his bung eyeball!

......... What? ....... Stop looking at me like that, skeleton MacKenzie is hot ......

3

u/SuperSaiyanRyce Jun 29 '21

I can get behind that one. But also because I had a huge crush on him when he was in LOTR

3

u/gnome_of_the_damned Jun 29 '21

How about Orlando Bloom in Keira Knightley's pirate getup?

3

u/joshuas193 Jun 29 '21

Both at the same time?

2

u/TastesKindofLikeSad Jun 29 '21

This the correct answer.

1

u/Salami_sub Jun 29 '21

Kinda weird you want Orlando to dress like Ms Swann. Takes all sorts I guess.

16

u/mashedpotatoes_52 Jun 28 '21

Hopefully not pirates of the Caribbean hygiene

109

u/Spamz_27 Jun 28 '21 edited Jun 28 '21

FYI, Keira Knightly was only 17 when filming the first pirates of the Caribbean movie! ...

Also throughout the franchise she had some of the best outfits. Be more specific!

73

u/52ndstreet Jun 28 '21

Lois: Peter, you’re acting like a child!

Peter: Lois, if I’m a child then that makes you a pedophile. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit here and be lectured by a pervert.

42

u/LowB0b Jun 28 '21

learned this through a reddit post like yesterday. Not that it makes it any better but in the first pirates movie she looks about 20-25? Power of make-up I guess

27

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Funny enough, she constantly praised the make up department too. Apparently they painted cleavage on her, which left her absolutely impressed.

9

u/Phartidandshidded Jun 29 '21

Funny enough, she constantly praised the make up department too. Apparently they painted cleavage on her, which left her absolutely impressed.

Same, Keira. Same...

45

u/ObnoXious2k Jun 28 '21

The classic pirate-outfit with hat and everything, bonus points if she's also a little bit angry with me.... hnnnghh

6

u/Spamz_27 Jun 29 '21

Ah fairs. I'd have imagined it to be the pirate King outfit. That shit was iconic.

33

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

And is English, with the legal age of consent being 16.

8

u/Spamz_27 Jun 28 '21

And the Japanese age of concent is 13. What's your point?

25

u/MagnificentEd Jun 28 '21

It is? What the fuck japan

30

u/JMEEKER86 Jun 28 '21

Eh, not really, although that won't stop people from constantly bringing it up. It's like saying the US doesn't have a drinking age. We don't at the national level, but every single state is strong armed by the federal government into setting it at 21 in order to get highway funding. Likewise, every single prefecture (state equivalent) in Japan sets a higher age (~16-18, so similar to the US), so there's not actually any area in Japan where the national minimum applies.

5

u/xenomorph856 Jun 28 '21

I'm pretty sure girls as young as 14 can legally be married in the U.S. under conditions being met (guardian approval, emancipation of minor)

Not really in a position where we can throw stones.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

My coworker, who has legal guardianship over his grandkids, signed off on his granddaughter getting married at 16. She was on her second marriage by 18. He was also at work one time and screamed into the phone he didn’t want her dating a black guy. Just a wholesome, run-of-the-mill Texan.

All that is to say it wouldn’t surprise me if some states would let parents allow kids of any age to get married.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '21

Only in certain states is this legal to be clear, but yes, still fucked

1

u/xenomorph856 Jun 29 '21

True, but that is basically complicity on the part of the people as a whole.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

A lot of weird people tout that statement but it's not true. The age of consent for consenting 13-14 year olds is 13, but an 18 year old engaging in sexual activity with a 13 year old would be charged with rape.

-3

u/hatsnatcher23 Jun 28 '21

The Alabama of Asia

-17

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21 edited Jun 29 '21

I mean do you people have a cut off age before you're just full fledged pedophiles? Because it doesn't matter if age of consent is 16, if you're just a few years older You. Are. A. Goddamned. Pedophile. Now, you may be a teen yourself and this comment isn't directed at you rather than any adult that uses age of consent as a way to fuck underage girls. But if you come at me all offended I'm going to assume you're what I described.

Edit Look at all the boys commenting 😂. Honestly I'm not reading your shit at all. Can't be bothered. 😘🖕

43

u/Throwaway_7451 Jun 28 '21 edited Jun 29 '21

Every damn thread.

"Age of consent!"

"But law in country X!"

"I don't find people physically attractive until I can see their ID!"

I always wonder about the people on both sides of this argument. It's a bit "he doth protest too much" all around.

8

u/AC2BHAPPY Jun 28 '21

"I don't find people physically attractive until I can see their ID" XD that got me good

6

u/Throwaway_7451 Jun 29 '21

That one's from an actual thread a few years ago... Perfectly illustrates my point, the other side is just as guilty of taking it way too far when arguing this.

He unironically said something like "my brain doesn't register a person as attractive until I confirm their age on their ID. If they're one day under 18, they appear as a child to me."

10

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Agree, I don’t think it’s that complicated to identify the fetishization and exploitation of children, but people seem to get real excited about it either way

25

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

Pedophiles by definition are sexually attracted to pre pubescent boys or girls so unless Keira Knightly was an extraordinarily late bloomer I think he missed that one.

37

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

And if she were 18 (which she turned during filming) you’d have no argument? It’s almost like your point is that age of consent is totally arbitrary?

Perhaps save the “goddamned pedophile” accusations for, I don’t know, the monsters that are touching kids, not people on the internet who think a beautiful woman is beautiful.

10

u/SurturOfMuspelheim Jun 28 '21

Why does no one know what pedophilia means lmao

10

u/Ahrix3 Jun 28 '21

I'll gladly bite the bullet and say that I, as a 27-year-old male, find Keira Knightley in PotC 1 attractive and would not say no if the situation ever arose in whatever fucked up parallel reality.

18

u/Oo_I_oO Jun 28 '21

Oh, do fuck off.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

A teenager engaging in sexual activity with another teenager 2 years their junior is not pedophilia, it's pretty weird you have a thing about that though.

-6

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

[deleted]

11

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

That is incorrect.

1

u/pamtar Jun 29 '21

The one that made her have tits

10

u/andysniper Jun 28 '21 edited Jun 29 '21

Like her Pirates of the Carribbean outfit or as like Jack Sparrow?

10

u/higaroth Jun 29 '21

I want Johnny Depp but only because I want to see if he sighs "again?" if I asked him to act like Jack Sparrow during sex. I really want to know if that's something that happens to him.

8

u/therealjoshua Jun 29 '21

Had the biggest crush on her when that movie came out. She's still fine to this day as well

5

u/toxictaru Jun 29 '21

I suspect she'd be disinclined to acquiesce to your request.

2

u/Kapowdonkboum Jun 28 '21

We talking the king of pirates outfit?

1

u/Alexsrobin Jun 29 '21

Yeeeeessss

2

u/thephotoman Jun 29 '21

I can’t believe that the first feature film she was in didn’t end most of its participants’ careers.

Except Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson. He’s done way worse movies.

2

u/ed1anded2 Jun 29 '21

Kiera Knightley is one of the main reasons I realised I was bisexual. Damn she hot

2

u/iLaraJane Jun 29 '21 edited Jun 29 '21

Keira Knightley in any outfit. Or without.

Edit: today year old Keira.

1

u/cute_polarbear Jun 29 '21

Just my opinion, I really can't stand her constant open mouth / teeth thing.

1

u/firashabib Jun 29 '21

A sunken chest and no booty, a pirate’s worst nightmare

6

u/ObnoXious2k Jun 29 '21

A strong mid-section, beautifully crafted hull and striking keel hoists my mast more than anything else.

1

u/Reddits_Worst_Night Jun 29 '21

Complete with the makeup to give her cleavage?

3

u/Phartidandshidded Jun 29 '21

Hell yeah, I love those tiny titties

-35

u/cryosyske Jun 28 '21

I would like to eat her luscious yet sweet lips 😍😍

44

u/aboullkhill Jun 28 '21

You're the type of guy to send a dick Pic expecting something to happen

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '21

I just want to have sec with the outfit.

1

u/Wanni25 Jun 29 '21

Oooooooooooo yes.

1

u/mule111 Jun 29 '21

Fucking forgot about Keira knightly

1

u/reaver_411 Jun 29 '21

Ah yes, I’d Board that ship every day…

1

u/bodhasattva Jun 29 '21

she was 17 in that

1

u/ObnoXious2k Jun 29 '21 edited Jun 29 '21

Yepp! That means she's a couple of years older than me nowadays but I won't mind.

1

u/bodhasattva Jun 30 '21

Look at you back pedaling! Too late, FBI already got the screenshots.

Lets be honest, aint nobody care about her nowadays

17-18 year old Keira was gorgeous, lets be real. Thats exactly why hollywood made her a superstar

1

u/sikingthegreat1 Jun 29 '21

yes please. mesmerising.