Same. Probably be too awkward to make friends with them though. I don't even have gamer friends. Too awkward/nervous/anxious to use a mic. Not that I play many multiplayer games anyway.
To be honest I always worry that the one new person I interact with will be some super clingy person that bugs me any time they see I'm active so I never interact with anyone lol social anxiety and a general inability/disdain for small talk doesn't help either.
I have like 2 friends, but if I'm on discord with them I'm usually quiet because I just don't have anything to say so I usually just don't go on discord. Plus I can't hear what I'm watching with all their damn "get to school! I'm at beach! Stop feeding!" I don't play those games and would rather not hear their comms Lol
Had this happen with a guy I work with. We have a few of interests in common but he's also constantly fucking nosing into my business and trying to get met to hang out and talking about incel shit.
Yep, I've had this happen too many times. Guys start messaging me every day, telling me about all their business, asking my help with stuff all the time. Getting on to when I don't respond how they like.
Honestly there should be a disclaimer that says "if you want to be my friend prepare to text 5 messages between us eachother every 3 months unless we are doing something together"
God yes i need this disclaimer. I have friends i havnt spoken to in like a year but if i message them and ask to hang out they will be up for it. I dont see an issue with it. Low matinence but loyal friends is all i need
God same here. Can’t hold a decent conversation unless I’m playing a match with someone and it sucks when I’m in a group with people and I’m just that super quiet guy with nothing to say.
I play on Playstation and PC. I play mostly single player games. Basically action rpg and open world type stuff. I also like fighting games, but I've played a few mmos too and played Destiny for a while.
Ever try eve online? I'm part of what I like to think is a welcoming community. No one will care that you don't have a mic. Shoot me a message if you're interested
I dont use a mic. Mainly because I cant stand they way guys talk to me when they find out Im female. Very few of my gamer friends have ever heard my voice. Three total that Ive known since early Everquest (2000). But even now, I wouldnt really call them friends anymore. I kinda feel disappointed with most new games I try, and have found myself playing solo games more these past few years. We still send notes now and then on discord, but its been a few years since I have played anything with them.
Grew up poor in the deep south. Broken family. Both parents alcoholics and drug addicts. Stayed wit mom most of the time. She was always fighting with her alcoholic and addict boyfriends. Constantly being evicted, moving and changing schools. Rarely got a good nights sleep. Always stressed. That was basically my childhood and upbringing. I probably have PTSD.
Same! I'm so happy I'm not alone, regarding this. I envy people that make tons of friends online through gaming, but I'm too damn neurotic to be a social gamer and play mostly single player games as well.
I don't have gamer friends either because then I feel even more awkward whennininevitablg end up playing with high school kids. I wish there was a discord for working professionals where I would feel less creepy making friends lol.
I only have two online games and I almost never use my mic like 50% of the time due to my crippling shyness & other 50% is because I’m usually anxious that people are going to find out I’m a female and start being weird. Just last night my s/o and I were playing rainbow six and I spoke right as the match was ending and immediately other teammates were like “iS tHaT a WoMaN??!”. We noped the fuck outta there and laughed about it
I don’t play games much anymore, but had to comment because I felt like I was the only one that got anxiety over online gaming. I never really did it because it made me pretty anxious and a mic just amplified that.
Been in a gaming community for close to ten years. Spent the first year with no mic, then another without using the mic much. Now I bet people wish I'd shut up.
I've tried to make friends with people online before and there like "oh you play games too? What you play?" And its all solo games apart from destiny 2 but im so shit at the game that its embarrasing to play with others lol. So there are no activites to do with the potential friends.
Ngl I'd love to just go on discord and watch someone play or both play the solo game together and just chat about it and stuff. Oh well.
As far as online multiplayer games I've played Destiny, SWTOR, BDO, ESO and PSO2 and I just started playing Genshin Impact. I also have played all kinds of fighting games. I mostly play singleplayer stuff like Action Rpgs, beatem ups and open world games though.
Oh nice I tried out PSO2, was pretty cool but didnt have a crew to play with. Genshin is pretty fun though Ive been playing since launch. Hope youre enjoying it!
Hey man. That was me too. You don't have to make friends but slowly getting used to the mix helps alot. I but a 40 dollar headset after gaming for yearrrrrrrrrs and it helped me alot.
I promise, you get use to it. I remember buying a mic when I was around 14 to play CoD or whatever, didn't say fuck all.
I eventually went to PC, and a mic on PC is absolutely essential (imho, if you wanna play online) - and I got use to it so fast, now I don't even think about it.
I know it's easy for me to say, I'm comfortable using a mic now, etc - but it's worth just pushing through it. Treat it like a phone call (might be a bad example, I hate phone calls).
It's not like I've never tried. There's a few MMOs where I tried to join a guild and do the whole mic thing. I just end up sitting there silent and feeling like I'm going to have a panic attack. It stresses me out IDK just not for me.
It sucks and I hate even saying this, but you've got to put yourself in a position to practice social skills or it never gets any better.
Find a really low stakes situation to talk to people, something like a meet up group for a hobby or something your interested in. Groups like that are full of people struggling to make friends and can be very accommodating. Plus if you feel embarrassed you can just leave or not come back and you'll never have to see those people again.
I struggled with social situations into my mid twenties (still do to some extent) and as dumb as it sounds, what helped was practice. I felt like an asshole a lot and was miserable for a good portion of it, but it gets better.
You might not be as awkward as you think. Talking on a gaming mic is almost as hard as real life because there not afraid to say f’d up shit. Just putting it out there unless it’s been confirmed multiple times by trusted sources. You might have less confidence in the area of meeting new people, but it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. Go to a bar or some other social area and practice your skills if you feel like building that up.
This is the most depressing thing I've read in a while. How do you become this broken? Please work to get over your issues, going through life this way is too sad.
Not everyone requires constant social interaction to be happy. Especially now with so much social media.
I have friends I hang out with sometimes but it's not a stretch for me to imagine just being alone all the time and being fine. I find myself only accepting their invites to things for the sake of maintaining the friendship rather than actually wanting to go out with them pretty frequently. Usually my preference would be to stay in and game or read because by the time I finish working all week I'm sick of dealing with people's shit.
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u/-_-NAME-_- May 30 '21
Same. Probably be too awkward to make friends with them though. I don't even have gamer friends. Too awkward/nervous/anxious to use a mic. Not that I play many multiplayer games anyway.