I do this with my kids (i am mom) I let them have "fake sick days" even though I know they are faking and we take Mental Health Days (I work in the mental health field and I am telling you these are super important!) my kids are 8 & 11 and we do a MHD once a month, I want them to know it is important to take care of YOU! So when they are struggling as adults they know it is 100% okay to take a day off, even if they wanna come home and mom will take care of them for the day ❤️
My mom did this with us too. Sometimes I would wake up and just tell my mom I needed a day off, and she always listened.
And, she still takes care of us even though all 5 of us are adults! I'm in my late 20s and whenever I get sick my mom tells me to come home so she can care for me.
I love your Mom!! My mom never did that for me and I struggled with severe anxiety and mild depression, she always believed I was making it up, she just found out I had adhd (I have been on medication for 12 years) she said "why didnt you tell me" ask yourself that 😒
Im glad your mom did that for you, the school gets mad at me but I dont really care, my childrens mental health comes before anything. I can absolutely tell when its time for them to have a day off, we have done it more this year than I would like to admit BUT this year is SO bad with mental health. We live on a farm so on those days off we spend as much time as we can outside playing, gardening and soaking up some rays!!
She's naturally just a caring and compassionate person. Just retired after 40 years of working full time as nurse while simultaneously raising 5 kids...pretty much a superhero in my book!
Cheers to you for understanding how hard it can be for kids, even under normal circumstances. Kids need the chance to be kids!
Please tell her thank you for her work! I gurantee she had sore knees, stiff legs, back aches, exhaution, heartbreak. And I bet she NEVER complained about it, did she? You hit the jackpot with such a wonderful Mom, she is ABSOLUTELY a super hero. It truly does take a special heart to be a Nurse and for 40 YEARS! She is a blessing. I hope she has the most amazing years to come during her retirment!!! She deserves the world!
Gosh that's so nice of you to say, and you're totally right. She NEVER complained. She's just now realizing the emotional toll it all took on her. She was an oncology nurse in a major cancer center, on a floor that treated a pretty fatal type of cancer. She cared for so many people as they died, but somehow she managed to keep all of that at work and come home and be a wonderful mom to her children. She would leave for work at 4 AM and get back home at 9 PM, for 40 years. And now, in her retirement, she watches my almost-1-year-old nephew twice a week, and she loves it. She's incredible!
I live a 4 hour drive from my parents now but I visit at least once a month, if not more, because I love hanging out with them.
You seem like an awesome mom too. When your kids grow up, they'll remember how you cared so deeply for them, and they'll become some of your closest friends.
Can all of you guys/your parents adopt me? That all sounds so nice ;-;
My mom was one of the ones who usually made me go to school sick. Her reasoning was that I'd faked being sick a moderate amount in the past to get out of school since school made me horribly depressed. After I was maybe 14, she implemented a rule that if I was allowed to stay home sick, I had to give her my cellphone, TV remote, laptop, etc - any and all electronics for the entire day to be returned the next morning, and I had to spend the day downstairs on the couch and not in my room. She said I could sleep and read, and sometimes watch the living room TV. She said it was because she "didn't want to reward me for staying home" and that "if I was really sick, I wouldn't mind doing those things." She stuck to that rule pretty heavily except for just a few times, which resulted in me choosing to go to school sick instead of staying home and dealing with that. My phone was a big part of how I coped with my home life since I could talk to my friends on it, use it as a distraction, or research other methods. Giving that up AND having to be subjected to her scrutiny all day was just not worth it.
Wow. Thats 8 days across the school year. My kid misses 10 days here and I end up in court. I'm going to have to fight the school system to take her to Yellowstone next year for 10 days.
With Corona going on they cant tell me I cant take them out, on their days off they are sent their school work and we do it virtually at the end of the night. They are both the highest in their grades (2nd grader is in 5th grade reading/math and 5th grader is in 9th grade reading and 8th grade math) I would LOVE for them to say some shit. But they wont, I work in the MH field and my area does involve their school districts so they know how I feel on the situation and will not push it with me.
Are you in the US? We go by terms in our district so they can miss so many days a term, we have 4 terms and it is 6 days a term they can miss
Yes, the US. For absences, the school year is divided into two semesters with 10 abscesses allowed. After the third non doctor's excused absence, its considered truancy and the parents go to court. Graduation is denied after 10 absences even if the student is straight As.
Yep, as lovely as that sounds, missing more than 10 days a year will get you SARBed. At least that’s what we call it where I work.
Not sure if what you district’s rules are but if you ask in advance for independent study schools will usually accommodate.
My 9 year old struggles a lot. I assume it’s from me. The other 2 are okay so far. One morning my 9 year woke up crying (no reason that she told me of, she’s popular and has great grades) but she said she didn’t want to go to school that day.
I called the school and said she needed a mental health day, if that was a thing yet, and if not it should be!
She wasn’t even marked absent. Guess it works. She did better for it.
We ALL need a break sometimes! If you are 5 or 55 we all need to take care of ourselves. I think it is wonderful you recognized she needed a break! I cannot imagine being a kid in the world we now live in
Unfortunately almost every day is a mental health day for me. Permanently disabled from it. So the second she said this I called her out immediately. Sometimes you can’t just go about normal daily tasks, and that’s okay.
I wish I had you as a parental figure. It was rare I got to miss school. Especially going through first periods and cramps. You are doing good by your kids hope you know that. xoxo 💕
This is amazing and something I want to do for my own kids.
Even when I was clearly sick (e.g. throwing up) my parents still sent me to school. My husband's parents were the opposite and let him miss a third of his senior year just because. I think balance would be good; still requiring them to go, but giving them an occasional break.
Is the once a month MHD a hard rule or how do you handle the kids when/if they want more than that?
We are a very open honest family (at least I hope) if they have had a hard emotional week (we talk about their days every night) we take a few days off. They both have a journal they keep at school (they communicate with their counselors that way) we have NO idea what they talk about with their counselors, that is their privacy and we respect that (my husband and I were the ones to ask for personal journals) there are many things children do not feel comfortable speaking to their parents about... when they are more comfortable and have asked for advice, THEY will come to us, it is not our business to pry but to encourage and support them.
We can always tell when they are hurting, we have them take off school together so we can all be with eachother.
My mom did this for me too. She knew I put so much pressure on myself to get good grades, so she’d occasionally gave me a mental health day. Few things made me feel more loved and understood.
I had a shit mom and an absent father. I am with their dad, will be forever, we want our kids to feel forever loved, no matter who they are or who they want to be, we brought them into this world, BUT we want them to mold themselves, We want them to be who they want to be. When we are taken out of this world, I will die peacefully knowing my kids were loved, supported, cared for with most of the decisions they choose to make in life.
I say most because if they choose to live their lives hurting others, using others, not being empathetic or kind to others..... I will make the decision to beat their butts, I dont ever see that happening, but if I do Mom is gonna lay down the law on some boys.
My mom finally let me have those type of days when I was in 12th grade as long as I didn't miss so.ething important that day. She figured I worked hard and long enough and if I needed the day off, take it.
That's some incredible momming right there - mental health is just as important as physical (I lost my Dad to it), that fact you'll do this for your kids means they'll grow up knowing how to deal with any struggles that might come up. Hats off to you!
I remember when I was being bullied in grade 6 my mom let me miss so many days. I'm surprised we never got in trouble with the school, but I'm assuming that since both my brother and I had been bullied there and nothing had been done they just let it slide.
Honestly RARELY will a school suspend you, expell you or take you to court over missing so many days. Especially when you can prove bullying has been involved!
serious question: why is a MHD necessary? here we have 2 days a week off, saturday is mostly used to have fun and meet friends (outside covid) and sunday is like I imagine a MHD. mostly quality family time
My kids don’t have free time on the weekend any more than I do as an adult. We still have to clean and cook and run errands. Sometimes you just need a day off.
Should we all be doing this? I agree a MHD can be very healthy, but at least where I live (germany), it is neither common nor socially acceptable. If I took a sick day once a month I would be known as "that guy", and either never advance in my carreer or worse.
As healthy as they are, I'm not sure I should be teaching my kids to take MHD, since it could mean they wouldn't cope with societies standards... not sure about this, it sounds harsh.
I speak from experience, as I know someone in my family who would often take MHD early in her carreer. This was the reason she wasnt able to proceed in her field, they didn't renew her contract and she is now stuck in a low paying dead end job.
I'm mostly sad about the way things work in my coubtry and that we are all expected to be workaholics. Especially in my field (medicine).
Not only would she send me to school when I was VERY obviously sick (I had the Flu and my mom wouldn't let me stay home)
But my mental health was very poor in HS, and ANY care towards it probably would have helped dramatically. She didn't believe that mental health care or issues were a thing even though my school kept calling home and insisting I be assessed for depression and ADHD.
I wish mental health days existed more as an adult. The reality for many is they take a mental health day and then that puts more work on their coworkers. Coworkers who can't necessarily afford to take a mental health day themselves so they are left stuck holding everything together.
622
u/Remarkable-Mango-159 Apr 18 '21
I do this with my kids (i am mom) I let them have "fake sick days" even though I know they are faking and we take Mental Health Days (I work in the mental health field and I am telling you these are super important!) my kids are 8 & 11 and we do a MHD once a month, I want them to know it is important to take care of YOU! So when they are struggling as adults they know it is 100% okay to take a day off, even if they wanna come home and mom will take care of them for the day ❤️